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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,311
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

On another note....

 

This past year DH and I helped our older neighbors with the snow. Just this week they gave us a gift card in return. But...we did not want any kind of return, since we wanted just to be helpful. Neighbor's husband is incapacitated, and they have more places for snow removal than us.

 

Not that we are ungrateful for their kindness, but it almost negates what we did!

 

Anyway, I vote for the brownies! That is a much more neighborly gesture and still allows him to do something nice for you.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,378
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

@Patriot3  Also thought if you could find out his favorite charity, make a donation in his name. IMO, giving a gift card is like giving money only worse because it may not be used.

 

I wish "helpful" people would be more gracious in accepting thanks from those who they help.  It is a 2-way street.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,778
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

I agree with the others that said be careful about a gift.  He says he did the same for his mother.  Perhaps he's honoring her by helping you, knowing that she would approve of him helping out someone in need just because he sees a need.  And he just enjoys it.

 

However, if you do happen to know he could eat (and would like) brownies or some other treat you can make, I think that would be a lovely gesture.  Or a bunch of flowers from the grocery store or a plant.  And I would include a card or even just a nice note from you saying how much you appreciate him.

 

We need more people in this world like your neighbor!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,342
Registered: ‎05-01-2020

Re: Neighbors help

[ Edited ]

What a great neighbor you have! I love hearing/reading things like this.

 

Could you have him over for a home cooked meal? You'd need to ask about food sensitivities but this gives you info for the future (ie gift basket).

 

Also, if he's younger and has a wife and kids at home, a treat would be appreciated for their sacrifice of his time (while he was helping you, he wasn't doing something for/with them). This aspect of service is too often overlooked. Also, even if he doesn't like the treat, they would and their happiness would make him happy (some people get more joy out of seeing others smile).

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,282
Registered: ‎09-15-2016

Give him a Thank You card with a handwritten note...how much you appreciate having him as your neighbor & that his mother raised a wonderful kind & thoughful son. No food, no money, just a heartfelt message from you.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 68,106
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Neighbors help

[ Edited ]

@kaydee50 wrote:

@Patriot3  Also thought if you could find out his favorite charity, make a donation in his name. IMO, giving a gift card is like giving money only worse because it may not be used.

 

I wish "helpful" people would be more gracious in accepting thanks from those who they help.  It is a 2-way street.

 

 


It sounds as though he is gracious. He showed this same kindess to her mom. Someone making it clear they don't expect anything in return or any form of payments isn't necessarily being ungracious. As for me, please don't donate to a charity in my name. I alone will decide when I want to make a donation and doing so in an instance like this is like giving the neighbor money by proxy. It feels impersonal and as if one was more concerned with paying them back rather that simply accepting the generous act of kindness displayed.


In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,881
Registered: ‎03-10-2010
I also think a gift card would be good. I like @Ainhisg suggestion about a Home Improvement store. I have gifted Lowe's gift cards because I know when Spring comes people buy mulch, dirt, flowers etc.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,877
Registered: ‎09-02-2022

Hi @Patriot3  Woman Happy

How wonderful to hear about 2 very wonderful, caring, giving people!  Thanks for this "Lifting up!"

 

I dont eat any Refined Sugar what so ever.  Even tho (esp homemade) brownies are, would be sooo tempting, wish I could eat them, then, what do I do with them.  I wouldnt want to seem ungrateful myself.

 

In cases such as you've been treated to, I've given them a piece of my heart.   I've written a "very heartfelt, caring, feeling- so-fortunate," "you're- a-Special-Person Note/Card Message" to some.  This usually causes ppl who help me to BEAM, ear to ear.  Seems they do this out of the Kindness of their own heart, expecting nothing in return.  

      Expressing sheer, unadulterated Gratitude for Gratitude is sure tricky, isnt it. 

      How kind of BOTH of you!  So fortunate!  Sometimes, God's giving has a skin face, doesnt He?

"Don’t forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!" TLB
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,160
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@stevieb 

I hadn't considered the negatives of donating, so I'll remove that suggestion.

 

When a friend's pet dies we send a card and make a donation to an animal charity the friend supports.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,718
Registered: ‎07-13-2021

I have done things/chores for my elderly neighbors and they insisted on paying me - I respectfully refused to let them do so, BUT...

 

On several occasions, they have given me plants, homemade goodies and gift cards.

 

I graciously received the gifts in the spirit in which they were given.

 

Everyone is different, but it's hard for me to understand someone being insulted by a gift that was given in gratitude and love. Smiley Happy