Community Chat

[FranandZoe]

I have a brother who lives 15 minutes away but I haven't had any contact with him for about a half dozen years. There's no problem - he just doesn't bother with anyone in the family. And hasn't for many years. We send birthday and Christmas cards. My Mom lives the same distance away and he doesn't see her either. Rarely. If he gets a new car or some other new toy he'll look her up to show it off. He doesn't even see her on Christmas or Mother's Day. He does usually call her on these holidays and her birthday. Sometimes he'll send a gift - other times not. My Mom sold her house and moved into a high rise apt building for the elderly four years ago. He did nothing whatsoever to help her or my other brother and SIL and I with the move or cleaning out her house. His only contribution was putting notes on all of the stuff he wanted. Three years ago he chose to not attend his niece's wedding. (My other brother's daughter.) He sent a huge monetary gift. His wife's father died about 3 weeks ago - lived in another state. Wife called my Mom when it happened - Mom and I sent cards. Wife told my Mom that her father had been cremated and they'd have a memorial service at some later point.

I saw his obituary in today's local paper. The funeral/memorial service is Saturday morning.

Should I go? My feelings are no. They haven't advised either my Mom or me of the time and date of the service. If I hadn't seen it in the paper I wouldn't even know about it. And I have gotten to the point in my life that I'm just sick of "doing the right thing" all the time in support of people who don't seem to care one way or another let alone reciprocate. My FIL died ten years ago and this brother and SIL didn't show up for the visitation, call, send a card - nada. That's not my reason for not wanting to attend this though. It just seems to me they don't really want us there or they would have said something.

So what do you guys think - please be honest.