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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,879
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Need advice on an upcoming bridal shower


wrote:

I think you have already gotten the best advice here. Ask those involved how they would like to be introduced. 

 

It seems from what little you have posted about this here, that it is no secret that your son is adopted, but perhaps his ongoing relationship with his birth family will be a surprise to some guests?

 

I'd say it is up to those directly involved to choose how to introduce everyone. At this point in the game, I don't see any reason his brothers can't just be called his brothers, and his birth mom, called that if she wishes, or just her name if she doesn't want to upstage the event with a bunch of people talking about the fact that they didn't know he was adopted, who his birth mother is, etc. etc. etc.


@Mominohio From day one we have always called the boys his brothers. He has always called his birthmother by her first name. There are some closed- mined people that will think this is strange but at this point I don't care. I am just concerned about her feelings.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,879
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Need advice on an upcoming bridal shower


wrote:

What does your son call her?  What do you call her?  

 

I would just refer to her as you normally do.


@Bri36 we all call her by her first name and that's what we will do.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,879
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Need advice on an upcoming bridal shower


wrote:

I would definitely discuss this with your son and the birth mother.  You didn't give us enough information about the circumstances, such as whether people know he's adopted, to give advice.  If people don't know and you want to introduce her as the birth mother, maybe putting the word out ahead of the shower would be a good idea.  You could say you and your son are excited that his birth mother will be there, or something like that.  Then everyone would have already processed this information and will be expecting it.


@OfCourse Some people know and there will be others that even I have not met, that don't know. The latter is what I am concerned about.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,879
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Need advice on an upcoming bridal shower


wrote:

I seem to be missing something.  It was an open adoption, she's his birth mother and that is how you introduce her.  Most people in the wedding probably know your son is adopted and since his brothers are in the wedding, everyone knows the situation.  These arrangements are becoming more common now.  "Family" has expanded to include a host of arrangements.


@chrystaltree That is very true. I am just concerned about her feelings.