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‎06-09-2016 01:18 PM
@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
Obviously, I don't know everything about your situation, but maybe you can mention something she may not have fully considered ..... that if she falls and breaks a hip, she WILL have to go to a Rehab facility for 3 or 4 months .... to care for her until she can walk again. If her hip never fully mends, and she is not ambulatory, she WILL end up in a nursing home. There's no way you can provide the 24/7 care that would require, regardless of her "pride". I would hope that breaking bones is something that would concern her.
Perhaps she will re-think what's "the lesser of the two evils", so to speak. Stuck in bed unable to walk to the bathroom initially sounds like something she's want to avoid.
I also like someone's idea of "misplacing" her cane.
@Tinkrbll44, my mother spent 2 months in a skilled nursing facility last fall when she fell in the kitchen and fractured her leg in three places. She knows the risks, but everyone keeps telling me that at 91 y.o.., she is not going to change. Something major will happen. She was lucky to come out of her fall last autumn. She is one stubborn woman.
When she fell in the driveway and hit her head very hard the other day, she was lucky not to have a brain bleed or concussion. They told her at the hospital that she needed to see her doctor in 2-4 days because things could change. This morning we had a battle about her seeing her doctor tomorrow. She said she would not go as she felt fine. Last night she had a nose bleed. DH told her this morning that he would pick her up and put her in the car if she refused to cooperate. I'm about to give up! ![]()
‎06-09-2016 01:27 PM
@Brinklii wrote:
@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
Obviously, I don't know everything about your situation, but maybe you can mention something she may not have fully considered ..... that if she falls and breaks a hip, she WILL have to go to a Rehab facility for 3 or 4 months .... to care for her until she can walk again. If her hip never fully mends, and she is not ambulatory, she WILL end up in a nursing home. There's no way you can provide the 24/7 care that would require, regardless of her "pride". I would hope that breaking bones is something that would concern her.
Perhaps she will re-think what's "the lesser of the two evils", so to speak. Stuck in bed unable to walk to the bathroom initially sounds like something she's want to avoid.
I also like someone's idea of "misplacing" her cane.
@Tinkrbll44, my mother spent 2 months in a skilled nursing facility last fall when she fell in the kitchen and fractured her leg in three places. She knows the risks, but everyone keeps telling me that at 91 y.o.., she is not going to change. Something major will happen. She was lucky to come out of her fall last autumn. She is one stubborn woman.
When she fell in the driveway and hit her head very hard the other day, she was lucky not to have a brain bleed or concussion. They told her at the hospital that she needed to see her doctor in 2-4 days because things could change. This morning we had a battle about her seeing her doctor tomorrow. She said she would not go as she felt fine. Last night she had a nose bleed. DH told her this morning that he would pick her up and put her in the car if she refused to cooperate. I'm about to give up!
All I can do is sympathize. Very frustrating indeed, I know. We want them around, and comfortable and safe, and happy. Very much depends on their lifelong personality; for many, they aren't going to change, and will become more entrenched and invested in not adapting. Nothing you can do about it that won't make both of you unhappy. Sad but true.
‎06-09-2016 01:30 PM - edited ‎06-09-2016 01:36 PM
@colliegirls wrote:
My mother in law would not use a "walker" but would use a rollator !! Very handy!
@colliegirls wrote:
My mother in law would not use a "walker" but would use a rollator !! Very handy!
Hi @colliegirls. I was going to suggest to the OP that she get her mother a rollator since I was provided one to use in a rehab center while rehabbing from a hip replacement but while I appreciated having the seat, a basket and the fact that it didn't look as "old looking" as a walker, I found that it actually caused me additional pain especially in my arms and shoulders. I think it's because the wheels roll pretty fast and I had to put extra effort into slowing down/stabilizing the thing. Also, more than a few times, I almost fell forward as it rolled out in front of me.
Does anyone know if they make rollators with gears? Only half kidding. I know they have locks but do they have ones where you can adjust the speed/rotation of the wheels, or as they say, "slow-your-roll?" :-)
‎06-09-2016 02:00 PM
@ChazzyLady wrote:
@colliegirls wrote:
My mother in law would not use a "walker" but would use a rollator !! Very handy!
@colliegirls wrote:
My mother in law would not use a "walker" but would use a rollator !! Very handy!
Hi @colliegirls. I was going to suggest to the OP that she get her mother a rollator since I was provided one to use in a rehab center while rehabbing from a hip replacement but while I appreciated having the seat, a basket and the fact that it didn't look as "old looking" as a walker, I found that it actually caused me additional pain especially in my arms and shoulders. I think it's because the wheels roll pretty fast and I had to put extra effort into slowing down/stabilizing the thing. Also, more than a few times, I almost fell forward as it rolled out in front of me.
Does anyone know if they make rollators with gears? Only half kidding. I know they have locks but do they have ones where you can adjust the speed/rotation of the wheels, or as they say, "slow-your-roll?" :-)
I am sorry to hear that. All I can say is that my mother in law loves it, moves very slowly these days, and has never complained about the rollator.
‎06-09-2016 06:06 PM
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I am so happy you worked out a solution. Please keep me informed. I like happy endings.![]()
‎06-10-2016 02:11 AM
I have a good friend, that's only 35, but, probably looking at least one total knee,in the next year.
She was a long distance, eventually marathon runner, for years. A very small boned, thin woman, she really did a number on her knees.
She's been using a "Hurry Cane". To me it seems light, I wondered about the stability, but, she loves it!
‎06-10-2016 08:35 AM - edited ‎06-10-2016 08:42 AM
Can you get "Visiting Doctors" in to check on your mom? We had that for my dad. It sure helped!!!
Secondly, if she is not safely able to go out, then she needs to stay in. You do have control of that right? You need to be making safety decisions for her. It sounds like her time is up on that end of the deal. You have to do what you have to do.
JMHO, I've been down this avenue. Bumpy road at times. Very hard mostly. Wish you my best. @Yardlie
‎06-10-2016 11:21 AM
Hi, @qualitygal! We live in a very small town, so no Visiting Doctors, but we did have Home Health (Visiting Nurses) for her when she fractured her leg last fall. They were very helpful and saved us a lot of running around.
She finally agreed to go to the doctor for her follow up appointment today...after DH threatened to pick her up and put her in the car! Actually, he was half joking, but he doesn't get direct like that with her very often, so I think she knew he would. She also agreed to user her walker today, as there is a lot of walking at the clinic. We gave her that choice or a wheelchair.
If we are somewhere like Walmart where they have shopping carts, I grab a cart as soon as I get out of the car and bring it to her. Shopping carts are great ambulatory aids for the disabled or people with balance problems.
It's nice to hear from people like yourself who have been down this road. I'm sure it will smooth out once she gets used to using the walker. I'm going to have the doctor discuss this today and not let him get away with his usual wimpy answer, " I'll let you two battle this out at home." I'm going to be very direct and tell him..."Oh, no you're not. It's your job to educate patients, and I want you to do it!"
I'm not normally aggressive or confrontational, but this is my mother's life we are talking about.
‎06-10-2016 12:16 PM
@ChazzyLady. I was going to mention Wrist strength is very important with any of the helpers! My DDMiL. Was very independent, but she used the Walker in the house and wheelchair out and about. Good luck to all of us if or when we turn OLD! At least our Parents are still teaching us by the trials and tribulations that they are going through!!! When we get to that slot in OUR lifetime, we will know HOW to BE a wonderful help in helping our family help us!!!!!!? tedEbear
‎06-10-2016 12:44 PM
Sadly, being in denial and poor decisions have consequences.
If a 9-month recovery from a broken leg, and a head injury from a fall did not convince her that using a walker might be a good idea, then she will soon need a wheelchair instead of a walker....or worse.
I've been there - it is SO difficult to just stand by and watch them choose not to do something that will improve the length and quality of their lives.
There are some wonderful suggestions in this thread, from some very wise folks - certainly worth a try.
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