Community Chat

[Puppy Lips]

My 24 year old son recently got engaged to a nice young woman he met in college. My son has graduated, has a great job and is living on his own. My son, his fiance, and her parents all live near each other in another state from us. My son was raised a Lutheran. His fiance was raised a Catholic and went to Catholic schools. Over the last year or so, my son has turned into an Athiest. I do not know if it is a phase or a permanent change. But I am okay with that because he is an adult and can decide for himself what to believe or not believe.

His fiance's parents are strict Catholics, but not so much her. The wedding is over a year away. Already her parents have sat them down and told them that they want the wedding in a Catholic Church (they want to get married outside), that they want certain ethnic traditions at the reception (they don't like these traditions), and the "biggie", that they want their Grandchildren Baptized and raised as Catholics.

My son sat politely, biting his tongue the whole time. I think that to keep peace, he would go along with a Catholic wedding and her ethnic reception. But as far as how to raise his children, that was going too far in his mind (and ours).

So my questions to you all are this: What exactly will happen at his premarital counseling with the Catholic Church? If they try to convert him, I think he will lose his cool. I do not know if or how much her parents are paying for the wedding. I would think that the more they contribute, the more say they should have in the planning. Or should my son and their daughter insist on getting what they want? And lastly, should they tell them now that their children will not be raised as Catholics, or just wait on that, as that is years away?

I don't want him to get off to a bad start with his in laws. But on the other hand, they are adults and should be able to live as they see fit. He asked me, "At what point do I get to do what I want to do?"

This is our first child getting married. Any advice you all have would be greatly appreciated.