Community Chat

[Bri36]

I'm sorry about the loss of your husband.

What you're feeling is extremely normal right now.  Your feelings can change day to day.  It never hurts to seek the support of family and loved ones right now. 

[MoJoV]

@vicki is ok I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your husband.  I can't imagine a more awful shock.  You are obviously "shell shocked" over it.  I can't offer any advice just my sincere condolences. I went through something similar when my Father died suddenly when I was 19. 

[Plaid Pants2]

@vicki is ok

What you are feeling is 100% normal. Don't beat yourself up because you are not crying 24/7.

Believe it or not, you are already on the path to healing.

You'll find that the tears will come in waves.

There will be days when you won't shed a single tear, and days where you will cry an ocean of tears.

And gradually, those days of crying will get further and further apart, and that is completely normal.

Then one day, you will be able to remember your husband without tears, and in fact, you will even smile again, and yes, even laugh again.

Several years ago when I lost someone that I dearly loved, it felt like I was never going to laugh again.

A famous comedian was stopping in my town for one night to do a show, and I liked this comedian.

I knew that I needed to get my mind off of my sadness, even for a couple of hours, so I went to see their show.

I felt good to laugh and not dwell on my loss and sadness for awhile.

Did it cure me of my sadness?

No, but it did help to pull me out, even just a little bit, of that pit of dispare and depression.

I am not saying that you should run out to the Chuckle Hut and take in a show.

I mean, if you want to, by all means, go, but if you don't want to, which would be totally understandable, you don't have to.

Taking care of your daughter and focusing on the move is good, because it will be the needed distraction, to take your mind off of your loss. You won't be solely focused on just that and only that.

I wish you peace and love on your journey of healing, and I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.

[IMW]

So very sorry to hear of your loss, please accept my deepest condolences.

Of course you're numb- you're in shock.

Take one day at a time, consider a bereavement support group, and or counseling.

It takes a long time, a year at least to feel better, and still the loss remains.

Take care of yourself- as best as possible 

[Oznell]

Condolences to you @vickiisok, over this tremendous loss.  Please take the best care you can of yourself and your daughter.  I'll be praying for you and your family that the darkness will start to lift.

[Mominohio]

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@vicki is ok wrote:

Thank you so much for your quick replies. We were in the process of moving back to our home state in Indiana when all of this started.

I still want to move there so that our daughter can be near family.

I have cried many tears while he was ill and as he was dying, but now I feel nothing. I loved him greatly and I just don't understand why I can't cry anymore.

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Several years back, my great aunt went through just what you are. Her husband passed, was sick for about a year before, and she knew he wasn't going to make it. 

She said she cried and felt loss at every little thing through that journey. The moment she looked at the car in the garage, and knew he would never drive it again, the moment she knew they would never visit Florida in the winter again like they did for many years. 

The day he died, she couldn't cry, nor for the days afterward. She talked to her brother (a minister) about it and was disturbed that a man she'd spend over 50 years with was gone, and now she couldn't cry, when she had shed so many tears during his illness.

He basically told her that she had done her grieving. She had mourned her loss, one little step at a time, had gone throughout the process of realizing one piece at a time, how life was going to be with him gone. 

There was nothing wrong with her. It wasn't as if she had passed completely by the grieving process. She had just gone through it before he passed, and was at peace since he was now at peace. 

I'm so sorry for your loss @vicki is ok. What you are feeling right now is normal. Not everyone grieves in the same way or on the same schedule. I pray you find peace and comfort from family, friends, and memories, and that you can focus on the future and your desire to move and reestablish a life for you and your daughter. 

[golding76]

God bless you.  I am so sorry for your loss and additional life challenges.  All any of us can do is persevere, even when we don't feel like it.  Somehow, we continue even though life will never again be the same -- or as sweet.

[hckynut]

@vicki is ok

My condolences for the loss of your husband. Many lives change forever, some in a matter of minutes. It is so very important that everyone understand that this really happens to real people, and it is not always "someone else".

I wish everyone would live their lives for the present, not for the future, which is and always has been, an unknown.

Sending our thoughts to you and your family.

hckynut(john)

[sheilababe]

I'm so sorry for your loss.  All your can do is one day at a time. God Bless.

[Daisy Sunflower]

So sorry. My condolences to you and your family.