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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: NO TRUER WORDS

[ Edited ]

They should be able to say what they feel about their own situation, with their own mother. That certainly isn't stealing anyone's joy. It is showing an alternative  life, with another person  called mother

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,753
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I am extremely fortunate I had the Mom (and Dad) that I did.  They were everything and more to me.  I didn't get to have them in my life for a long time, but I am very grateful I got to have them at all. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,959
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Those who can identify with the OP see the title as a definitive outlook; and those who cannot identify are left with an unrealistic expectation to agree with what is said.

 

The title leaves out the option for disagreement; and as such when one does not agree that person is incorrectly seen as "raining on someone's parade".

 

We see the same thing when Mother's Day and Father's Day rolls around here; some have warm memories while others do not.

 

I think if we are going to post warm sentiments regarding our childhood it might be better to have a title that does not indicate that the sentiment is made up of "no truer words". 

 

Some folks have had hard childhood experiences; to see the post as "true" diminishes their own experiences.  Some have been able to rectify the relationships and some are still struggling. 

 

To be wrapped in the warmth of loving childhood is more easily shared; for those who take the step to share what was not so warm for them should be recognized as well.

 

One can feel happy for those who had maximum good times growning up and one can also feel sad for those who had maximum sad times.

 

I would not like to see somebody hesitant to share a not so pleasant upbringing for fear of being looked upon as not welcome and even worse not believed.

""Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." -Rumi
Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

As I currently see some of our friends struggling with their very elderly parents, wondering what solution to various situations they should take I think about my folks who died while they were still pretty healthy and active, and enjoying themselves.While it was sad they died an untimely death, and I was certainly devistated at the time, at least they did not have to go thru all the pain & suffering that some people do. I think if someone had given them a choice to live to 100 but be dependant, senile and cronically ill & in pain vs dying in their late 60's in a car accident which would they pick. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,130
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: NO TRUER WORDS

[ Edited ]

@cherry wrote:

They should be able to say what they feel about their own situation, with their own mother. That certainly isn't stealing anyone's joy. It is showing an alternative  life, with another person  called mother

 

 **************  I understand what you are saying, cherry . With all due respect, I disagree.  When someone reads something that reminds them of someone they love, posts it to share those thoughts, and perhaps give us occassion  to share similar feelings, I feel it hinders others who would like to post something similar.  They feel they can't  because someone  might be hurt. I see that happening more and more these days on these boards. To me it's all about the persons intentions. 

 

  If  the subject or title is painful to someone they can readily end that pain by going on to another subject.  No one is more sorry and sad for those who  were abused than your fellow posters here.   Does that mean we shouldn't share how much  our mother's mean to us.  I don't think so.

 

I am sorry I used the phrase...."raining on someones parade".  I know it was probably not their intention so I fear my language might have been a little too strong and I apologize if it was. 

 

 

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

All threads have always been open to differing pov. I hate to see people so afraid to post another pov, that they must start their own thread. That is just plain censorship t,hat IMO serves none of us well

 

We should be will to give ,and take ,and see both sides of an issue

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,488
Registered: ‎04-18-2013

Re: NO TRUER WORDS

[ Edited ]

@JillyMarie wrote:

@cherry wrote:

I don't thinik anyone is trying to steal other peoples joy. Some of our posters have really suffered at the hands of abusive parents. It is like crowing about a wonderful meal, when someone else is starving. I had wonderful parents, but ,the pain of those who didn't, follows them for their entire life, and they have to live with it.

 

We have some posters here who have really been through the mill...


 

I don't understand what you are saying.  The approved topics of conversation are getting more and more limited on this board and your post seems to imply that something as innocent as  " Hey, I just found a great new recipe for Lobster Mac n Cheese" may hurt someone who a) can't afford to buy lobster: b) is allergic to cheese; or c) has celiac disease and can't eat the macaroni.  

 

I  think posters here take things way to personally.

 

Sometimes it is just a post not an attempt to wound someone.


@JillyMarie

 

I totally agree.

 

I had a relationship with my mother that no one would envy, but it's not something I care to discuss on this board, but those who want to do so should be welcome, or at least allowed, to do so.

 

No one should have to tippy toe around each and every person's feelings to express their own, as long as it's not done in a way that is to intentionally hurt someone.

 

I don't see that the OP had any such intentions