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Super Contributor
Posts: 430
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

My mother who has dementia living with me

 

I have my mom living with me now. She's almost 83 and can't take care of herself anymore. My mom has a very hard time walking and in constant pain. She is seeing a orthopedic doctor next week. My mom cries and wines all day, that she's lonely. I am going crazy. I get up around 4-5 every morning to Help me. My mom wants her tv on or wet the bed. She has lost her short term memory. I do get help one day a week, looking for a few days a week. I hired help for this weekend so I could go away for a couple of  days. My mom calls  me every 10 minutes throughout the day. 

 

I cant afford to put her in a nursing home yet. I need to sell her home. I feel sorry for my mom, she gets extremely nervous and cries all the time. 

 

My mom doesn't sleep well always up. I'm so tired. She repeats her questions throughout the day  and them cries and wines. She depends on me for everything, even if I go in the yard she'll call me where I'm at.

 

Anyone go through this?

Valued Contributor
Posts: 666
Registered: ‎09-05-2014

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

[ Edited ]

I have no words of wisdom, but please accept a virtual hug. My heart hurts for your situation.

Occasional Contributor
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎11-17-2015

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

I am so sorry for you, your letter had me in tears. Chances are slim to none that you live anywhere close to me, but where do you live?

Contributor
Posts: 55
Registered: ‎06-12-2010

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

My 95 year old grandmother has alzheimers and she lives with us. It is very hard, as we believe she is in the later stages of the disease. She has no short term memory and the things she can remember are not right. She cries and whines and stays up at night doing things that only she knows. We are trying our best to keep her at home as long as possible. She has been here for the last 16 years, except for a couple of rehab stints in the nursing home, from which she fell twice and broke her hip there.

 

It is really hard being a caregiver. I know that someday we will have to put grandma somewhere, and it seems soon, but I dread it so much. I pray every day that God would take her in her sleep and spare her an even worse fate. I will pray for you and your mother. Alzheimers is a very sad disease for the whole family.

Super Contributor
Posts: 430
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

 

 

the caregiver is still up with my mom. It's 10:00pm the caregiver called me telling me my mom is crying for me all day. I'm not sure she'll be coming back after today. I live in California. I don't want to send my mom to a nursing home, I'm trying to get her help for her but I'm going crazy. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,955
Registered: ‎08-13-2010

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

I know this, my dad was in the the same place. He had no idea who I was, I am very thankful that my parents  had the nurse & yep assit liveing is expensive. Is there some type of program that she can go to?  My parents had means to take care of it. It;s  too much for a child to deal with this. You need people that deal with this & very experience take her to some assit living if you can afford it. Made our life so such better & peace of mind

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

My heart hurts for you. I can hear the pain and frustration in your post.

 

It sucks having to take care of someone who can't understand what's happening.

 

All I can say is cry when you need to.

 

Curse, scream in to a pillow, if you need to, heck, even punch a pillow if you need to.

 

What you are feeling is normal.

 

You are a good daughter for taking care of your mom, even when you feel as though you are at the end of your rope.

 

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

Super Contributor
Posts: 430
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

 The worst part is she screams for help around 4am wakes up family. I was sick the entire day spent day in a hotel, in the bathtub for a migraine. My family went ahead and gone to legoland without me. I THINK I GOT SICK FROM LACK OF SLEEP. 

 

My daughter has to leave the house to do homework because she will cry and complains all day. I have to assest her with everything. 

 

Help is expensive charge around 15-20 per hour. 

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,955
Registered: ‎08-13-2010

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

DD told her that I understand & please let us go to these places, Iam saving up we ae in our 60,s  my Dad altimzers & think I will get it yep some of these places are around$3,000 a month told DD not to it until we really need it. Hate to burden her.

Contributor
Posts: 57
Registered: ‎04-06-2010

Re: My mother who has dementia living with me

I so feel your pain.  My mother was diagnosed at 64 with Fronto Temperal Dementia and lived with me for 7 years,  She went from a vibrant, sharp as a tack, independent woman, to a scared, paranoid, often mean, woman I did'nt recognise.

 

You MUST take time for yourself or you will suffer, like I did and not be of any use to your mom.  In the end, my mother was combative, angry and almost abusive.You have to remember, this is NOT the mother you knew and loved, it is this insidious disease taking over.

 

I pray yiu know the time when yiou have to admit her, and believe me, it will come, and it will be harder to let go than it ever was taking care of her.

 

I still feel like I could have done more, as I think every care taker feels, but you can only do so much.'

 

Please, take care of yourself and I pray for you both.

Many have come and gone, but they all left paw prints on my heart