Community Chat

[shoekitty]

@FiddleDeeDee 

First of all, I hear your concern and pain in making such decisions    I lost my mom last year, and these things weigh heavily on your mind and heart,.. because you want to carry out her wishes.

if I were you I might wait  wait until you can have te service that meant a lot to her.  Also, ''tis is a worrisome time, wait until things are better.  The family can get together and have a service and burial.  We know 2 people who are doing this because their loved ones cannot  be buried at this time

that's just my opinion   Again, sorry

[spud188]

I hope I am understanding you correctly. If it very important to your Mom and your family she have a funeral mass and you cannot without her remains,I would bring her home with me untile you could have what she wanted. I sure would not leave her at the Funeral home for who knows how long??? 

I kept my Mom here with me till we could have her service.

  I am sure sorry for you and your family.

[lovescats]

@FiddleDeeDee 

 
Without the remains it is called a memorial mass instead of a funeral mass but it will probably give you more peace of mind to speak to your priest first.  I am so sorry for your loss.

A funeral Mass or service with either the body or cremated remains present. If the body is not present, the service is referred to as a Memorial Mass.

[Financialgrl]

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@patbz wrote:

When my parents passed they were both cremated and subsequently interred at Arlington.  What many may not know is that there is almost always a significant delay to be interred at this national cemetery.  That was not a problem; we picked a date eight months out and planned a bewutiful, meaningful ceremony  that more of my family was able to attend.  If you look at your situation this way it may even work out better for you.

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@patbz  I'd not seen your post but had posted the same thing bc there was almost a 5 month wait when BF died and got a date for Arlington Cemetery.  

[hayseed00]

@FiddleDeeDee  Sorry about the loss of your Mom.

[Sooner]

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@FiddleDeeDee wrote:

My mother died this past week unexpectedly. Following her wishes, I had her cremated and chose the urn and vault. She will stay at the funeral home until the funeral. 

Here is where I need advice:

She wants a mass and reception. She already chose and paid for her plot. The cemetery is NOT doing full service burials at the moment. Now, I can have her buried but only 1 person can be there; no graveside service....you meet the hearse at the curb, say good bye and off you go.

Do I do this and have the mass and reception some time this year or next year (depending on the virus)?

Do I hold her at the funeral home until her specific wishes can be carried out no matter how long that may be?

I've spoken with the funeral director, the priests and the burial site; ALL have told me that waitlist is going to be almost a year (or longer, again, based on the virus) if I want the latter. If I just have her buried, I'm looking at 2-3 months, on average if I put her name on the list now.

What would you do?

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@FiddleDeeDee I would absolutely, positively do what is easiest and best for you and for those who knew her.

Her fondest wist would be for this to be as easy and as least stressful as she could possibly make it!  She loved you and without I doubt I would say that that is what would please her most.

She could not have anticipated this in any way.  She will be honored with whatever you--even if it is to remember her as a wonderful woman and hold her in your heart!

[AuntG]

First, I'm sorry what has happened to you. Second, I think your mother would understand if you couldn't follow her exact wishes. 

I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd keep her urn and give her the funeral she pre-planned at a later date.

[GCR18]

Sorry for your loss.  I'm think I would bury mom now and have a mass and reception down the road.  See what the Priest recommends.  

[Silver Lining]

@FiddleDeeDee , my sincere condolences to you. I think your mother would be very proud of you for carrying out her wishes to the best of your ability, especially under these unfortunate conditions. I'm praying for you now. I hope speaking with your priest tomorrow will help you make your decisions. If you have time and don't mind, please let us know what you think is the best thing to do.

[sunshine45]

@FiddleDeeDee 

condolences on the loss of your mother. this must be a particularly difficult time for you now, especially with all of this going on.

if i were you, i would bury her now and then maybe do a memorial service/mass/reception for her on the one year anniversary of her death.

i am sure whatever you decide is right for you will be the right decision. may she rest in peace.