Community Chat

[Porcelain]

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@kate2357 wrote:

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@Malcontent wrote:

@ECBG 

When my husband is supposed to do something and doesn’t --I don’t say a word, I just start doing whatever it is he was supposed to do and that drives him crazy (because I’m doing it wrong according to him) and then he does it. lol

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@Malcontent 

That's the tactic I also use ... if my darling hubby has procrastinated too long, I will just either do it when he's not home (so I don't hear about how I'm doing it all wrong) or I just go out to workshop and start picking out tools, etc., looking like I'm going to start the project. That typically gets his backside in gear. He doesn't procrastinate too much ... but when he does, I have my time limit.  

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I do this too! "Okay I totally get that you don't have time right now. I'll just get started and see how much I can do on my own."

Even if he leaves to go do whatever, he'll be back really quickly as soon as I make a loud noise. And then he starts telling me how to do it and I let him help me get it right.

Occasionally my bluff gets called or dude really does need to do something else or he falls asleep and I have to complete xyz activity myself. More often than not I find that although I might be a little slower or more clumsy at doing the thing, I can eventually get the job done. I managed okay when I was a single lady, so sometimes that same gumption is required as a married lady too.

The closest I get to nagging is simply reporting the facts. I think I learned about it in an old John Gray book. If DH forgets to take out the garbage, which is one of the responsibilities he has taken on -- and if it bothers me or gets in my way -- I wait a day and then I ask, "Hey is that the garbage from yesterday?" Then he says yeah he'll take care of it and eventually does.

But if it were to go another day, I then say something like, "Hey, you said yesterday you would take out the garbage? And it's right here." No emotions or elaboration. Just confusion. Whenever I start a sentence with the word "Hey," he does brace himself a bit.

[MoJoV]

Nagging?  Absolutely nothing would get done around here without my "nagging".  I say things nicely the first few times after that I turn up the heat so to speak. If it were up to him we would probably still have the black shag carpeting that was here when we moved in 30 years ago.  

The handsome strong man you married turns into a cranky old man...but I still love him madly.😊

[MoJoV]

@chickenbutt  I understand your feelings so well.  I'm just an emotional wreck when my dogs have even been sick.  Losing them is just wrenching.  It's not something you just "get over".  You're entitled to your feelings.  You can't really control your grief and shouldn't have to or be made to feel bad because of them.  

[ECBG]

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@Malcontent wrote:

@ECBG 

When my husband is supposed to do something and doesn’t --I don’t say a word, I just start doing whatever it is he was supposed to do and that drives him crazy (because I’m doing it wrong according to him) and then he does it. lol

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@Malcontent 

Just get sticky notes.  Put the date of your request as well as the request.  

Also, ever wonder where the "Honey To Do" list came from?

"Honey DIDN'T!!!

[ECBG]

@Malcontent 

Seriously, though, I gave DH a tin lunch pail I had painted during the first years when tole painting was hot.

I asked him to take the paint off......

..........20 YEARS later. I noticed it under his work bench, and said "JUST why hasn't that gotten done????  Don't tell me in 20 years you didn't have a spare moment!!!!!".

He had no answer, yep!  Totally expected.  It would have taken 10 precious minutes!!!!

The job did get done, finally. 

Now,  When I need something done, I say "wihin the next week.  (I ask every day.  Every precious day.) I am not waiting another 20 years!!!" Sheeshhhhhhh!

[PuppyLoverBob666]

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@Malcontent wrote:

@ECBG 

When my husband is supposed to do something and doesn’t --I don’t say a word, I just start doing whatever it is he was supposed to do and that drives him crazy (because I’m doing it wrong according to him) and then he does it. lol

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Preach it, sistah! I've been married 40+ years and I love that man to death but certain things get under my skin, plus I have a very hot temper so I don't even know where the key to our gun locker is--I DO know my limits.

[ROMARY]

I just thought of something........maybe if we do it ourselves, but do it slopp-illy, maybe our DH or SO will do it 'right' next time.  

If something is broken or needs repair, duct tape it together in a  hap-hazard way........etc, etc.

If they even notice the mess, that is.

[silkyk]

I am a big Willy Nelson fan and I always think of this when "debating" with DH....

"In a 1980 interview with People, Nelson said Matthews once sewed him up in a bed sheet and then beat him with a broomstick. "By the time I got loose, she'd lit out in the car with the kids, her clothes and my clothes," Nelson told People. "There was no way I could follow her naked, and that was kind of the end of it."

Guess Willy didn't know the "Yes Dear" trick.

[Pearlee]

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@silkyk wrote:

I am a big Willy Nelson fan and I always think of this when "debating" with DH....

"In a 1980 interview with People, Nelson said Matthews once sewed him up in a bed sheet and then beat him with a broomstick. "By the time I got loose, she'd lit out in the car with the kids, her clothes and my clothes," Nelson told People. "There was no way I could follow her naked, and that was kind of the end of it."

Guess Willy didn't know the "Yes Dear" trick.

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@silkyk  She was On the Road Again. 😁

[sally in philly]

😂