My heart hurts - Page 4

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@ANewHue wrote:
Today I accompanied a friend to visit a lady she worked with for over 25 years. I also knew the woman since I was a girl. Well when we got there we got a rather chilly reception from the woman behind the desk and she asked us to leave our names and she would contact the woman's daughter. Well we assumed she was moved to another facility but my friend told her it was a long ride We traveled. She said she would get her boss. After several minutes the boss came and told us we needed to call a certain phone number but she called for us. That call informed my friend that this woman passed away approximately two weeks ago and her family had been on vacation for weeks and wasn't coming back any time soon. We were devastated. It's horrible to think her one and only child (who is a mature woman) would not think to make a call to notify anyone and even worse be away having a vacation while her mother laid in a morgue. Yes there are tough relationships between parents and children but this is just horrible. Well she needs to live with her choices but she better watch out for Karma, my heart aches that this poor lady passed alone. Enjoy your life while you're well enough to do so.

@ANewHue

People die all the time when their family members are on vacation, business trips, whatever. If their MD had told the daughter that mom could go at any moment, that would have been one thing, but who knows with any accuracy exactly WHEN someone is going to die?

My father was much healthier than my mother .... and he died first!

If the daughter was on a "several weeks" vacation, there might have been extenuating circumstances .... like on a Mediterranean cruise out on the ocean .... or whatever. They can't turn a cruise ship around for one person .... the trip goes on.

IMO, it is VERY sad this happened, but for all we know the daughter checked with mom's doctor before the trip, and the MD said go .... who knows?

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

The only person on here that knows the details is the op,none of you ,or myself know.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

@JaneMarple wrote:
@Moonchilde wrote:
@CrazyDaisy wrote:
I am sorry that you did not get to see your friend before she passed.

Really not enough information to conclude they had a poor relationship. To be gone for weeks on vacation sounds like it might be a once in a life time adventure. Perhaps her mother was not in a bad condition when she left, perhaps her mother really wanted her to go and maybe they both knew something could happen when she was gone and were at peace with this possibility. Without more information, I wouldn't judge her daughter so harshly.

This ^^^

The daughter might be halfway around the world, possibly somewhere fairly remote. She and her mother may have been aware before the daughter left that this might happen, or had an understanding that if something like this ever did happen, mom didn't want her to interrupt her trip. The woman may have had a DNR order and it had all been discussed.

The OP and her friend/former co-worker are apparently not frequent visitors or close with the woman's family, so no evidence from the OP that they were considered close enough friends to notify. Just me personally, I don't think it's a responsibility of next of kin to notify everyone a person ever knew of their passing. Unless it's someone the deceased mentioned often, spoke to often or saw often (and by often I mean weekly), or the mother had specifically said to her daughter "be sure and let so-and-so know when I die - here's how to get in touch with her."
ITA

true but her body has been at the morgue for weeks. Had there already been a notice and funeral they probably would have known or seen it in the paper.

I don't care where I was vacationing, I'd make it a point to return asap.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@nana59 wrote:
You just never know what goes on with family dynamics....

True. I've been told by a funeral home employee, the business of which includes cremation of pets, that some people have picked up their pet's ashes and their huband's ashes are still there.

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Keepin' it real.