My daughters college roommate quit school - Page 4

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@petepetey wrote:
3 weeks ago my daughter started college, about 1.5 hours from home. She is happy and doing great.
Her roommate lasted just 2 weeks. She came from across the country, never having visited the college. Her mom flew her there, shopped for all the dorm items and moved her in and went home.

The girl had a new boyfriend who talked with her non-stop on facetime. The girl sat in her room with the door shut and barely went out, other than to classes and to grab food.

My daughter kept inviting her to do things. They did like each other and got along just fine.

Week 1 the boyfriend drove 24 hours to see her. They went to a motel for 3 days.

Then, at the end of that week she found a greyhound bus that would take her home, she quit school. (they are out about $10,000, no refunds)

So she left about $200 worth of stuff behind. This weekend I removed it from the room and brought it home. I will donate it to chartiy. The school said she should not have left anything behind and didn't do anything with it.

It makes me so sad to have to do this. One day you are hopeful and shopping for all this new stuff, full of joy and all too soon it was junk she couldn't haul away.

You didn't have to do anything. I don't know why you thought it was your business to take the girls belongings and remove them? It was her responsibility to take care of them and just because it didn't happen on your timetable doesn't mean she wasn't going to return for them. Maybe that wouldn't be likely, based on home being so far away, but you don't know that. Her arrangement for that dorm room is with the college, not you. There may be a certain amount of time the items need to remain, be it a quarter or semester, before it's considered abandoned property. And even then, it's the school's job to dispose of it, not yours.

BaileyBop · ‎03-10-2010

@Pearlee wrote:
@petepetey wrote:
No, the school said they didn't want the stuff, and it shouldn't have been left.

A new roommate is moving in and it can't be there.

I will hang on to it for now and would gladly ship it if someone paid me but so far, no one has asked for that to happen.
I still think you should have let the school deal with her belongings.

ITA, it was not your place to remove anything from that room. The college should have taken care of this issue not you. Why would anyone butt in on this. Actuallyl you stole that stuff. Very strange that you decided to be the dorm "police".

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

I'm not nearly as concerned about the abandoned stuff although I probably would have left it for maintenance to deal with unless I had a release from the dorm facility. I'm guessing maintenance would slide everything into the hall for a few hours and see if things were scavengered.

The girl is a much larger issue - her whole future is at stake and she apparently has no relationship with a parent giving her any guidance. Sorry, but I don't consider packing a college freshman off to a distant, unseen school to get her away from a boyfriend as any kind of guidance.

I also do not think this expensive disaster is the first problem between the girl and her parents. Sounds like they could be a Dr. Phil story.

Krimpette · ‎03-09-2010

I'm another who has a hard time understanding why you felt it was up to you to remove her items. If a new roomie was moving in, I would have thought it would have been up to the college to handle the belongings.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@petepetey wrote:
3 weeks ago my daughter started college, about 1.5 hours from home. She is happy and doing great.
Her roommate lasted just 2 weeks. She came from across the country, never having visited the college. Her mom flew her there, shopped for all the dorm items and moved her in and went home.

The girl had a new boyfriend who talked with her non-stop on facetime. The girl sat in her room with the door shut and barely went out, other than to classes and to grab food.

My daughter kept inviting her to do things. They did like each other and got along just fine.

Week 1 the boyfriend drove 24 hours to see her. They went to a motel for 3 days.

Then, at the end of that week she found a greyhound bus that would take her home, she quit school. (they are out about $10,000, no refunds)

So she left about $200 worth of stuff behind. This weekend I removed it from the room and brought it home. I will donate it to chartiy. The school said she should not have left anything behind and didn't do anything with it.

It makes me so sad to have to do this. One day you are hopeful and shopping for all this new stuff, full of joy and all too soon it was junk she couldn't haul away.

Personally, I would have refused to touch her things. You may have this come back to bite you. You have no legal right to her possessions and the college should be dealing with this. Whatever you decide to do, do not give her possessions to charity.

Once again in order to protect yourself, speak again with the college and refuse to become involved.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

I really don't agree with anyone that suggest OPs daughter leave the stuff. Sure, sliding it out into the hallway would have been fine, but leaving it in the room is completely unfair to both the daughter and the new roommate.

The daughter is responsible for making sure that half of the 10X10 dorm room is freed up for use by the new student. If she supposed to store someone else's abandoned pillows and coffee mugs? Nope. The school told her that unfortunately, it is now hers and her problem, and she has to deal with it on way or another. So mom moved it out of the space.

@petepeteyit was kind of you to store it at all, as I would have likely told my daughter to set it out by the trash bins and make half the room look livable again!

Guaranteed this is a complete nonissue for the drop-out and her family. I think back on the abandoned junk at my dorms at the end of each semester and school year and am smiling to think that so many of you seem to think this stuff is of value! Think back to your college days, ladies! These aren't "valuables" lol.

bri20 · ‎03-10-2016

It's not the daughter's responsibility to deal with the stuff that's left in the room. It's the school's responsibility.

I'm kind of surprised they said you could keep it. I guess they would have just thrown it out anyway. Usually they inspect a room when someone leaves and remove anything that's left.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

Many freshmen do not make it and leave college for different reasons.

First of all, call the parents and ask what they want you to do with her items. SIMPLE.

petepetey · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you for being kind. Thank you to those that offered support.

Some here are very judgemental and harsh.

The college told my daughter it was hers and the girl leaving it behind did too.

So, why should she be stuck with it? She has no place to keep it. I do and I will keep it for now.

I'm taking care of my daughter and I think many of you here would do that same.

I am still oxox · ‎03-09-2010

Not your job, in fact I would say stay out of it, if the girl left the items it should be up to the school to dispose of them. I am afraid one day soon the girl's mother will realize what was left behind and want to retreive them.

It was an unfortunate situation but it is done, step back and take care of your child and no one else.

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.