Re: My daughters college roommate quit school

Mellie32 · ‎03-13-2010

@MyGirlsMom wrote:
She belonged there just as much as anyone else. The fact that she didn't care for it is another issue.

Oh well..Anthony Bourdaine is on.

Have a good night.

Ah, I see. You just want to argue semantics just for the sake of arguing. Have a great night.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@JaneMarple wrote:
@ROMARY wrote:
I'm thinking that the three days in the m*tel was just O/P's way of letting us know about how much the roomate was missing her BF, and therefore, her possibly deciding to move back home to where her BF is living. No harm done, imo, since that's probably the significant reason why she left college.
But as others have stated, it has absolutely nothing to do with leaving her items at college after she dropped out. It was unnecessary to mention it.

Exactly. And we really don't know the whole story, just bits and pieces. None of us are in a position to figure out what went wrong for this girl, what her mother is like, and what her plans should be going forward. The other side of the story may be quite different, and is pretty much irrelevant anyway.

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

I don't think it matters if the dorms are co-ed or not. As long as someone scans them in, holds the door or buzzes them in, they are in. As for the RA's I saw, (and I'm not saying all) they are RA's for the free room and board.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Sooner wrote:
@ROMARY wrote:
Dorms of the seventies aren't the same as today's dorms. (Somebody here mention dorms.) Lots of 'different' things going on in today's dorms. The women's dorms 'way back' had a 'house mother' (or whatever she was called), making sure the women were safely in, at late evenings, by a certain time, and not missing, etc. ....... I wouldn't have minded living in dorms 'way back', but not today. I wouldn't want 'guys' roaming in and out of my room, shower area, etc. But, that's just me. I like my privacy, more or less. JMO, of course. To each her own.
I lived in a co-ed dorm in 1971. Alternate floors for men and women. I don't remember any problems. . .except some idiot on one of the upper floors had a pet DUCK in his room. But that being said, it was fine.

I lived in a women's dorm for one year, and co-ed dorms for 3 years back in the 70's. Co-ed was no different, no more wild or crazy. We were allowed to come and go as we wanted in both. No guys ever roamed into my room or the showers. In the women's dorm (my freshman year), visitors had to sign in. Other than that, there were no restrictions, no house mother, nothing like that. My children's dorm experiences were pretty similar, so I don't think things have changed very much.

Desert Lily · ‎06-24-2011

My child graduated from college a year ago before beginning a Ph.D. A mini refrigerator, a coffee maker, bed linens, required mattress pad/cover, pillows, towels, lamps, hamper, decorative items, quilts and throws, a TV, etc. add up in cost and aren't junk. IMO the roommate's items belong at the roommate's parents' house, not yours. It also seems that assumptions are being made. No one knows what was going on in that student's mind or whether she plans on returning. She may decide to return next semester. It's her business. Nor does anyone know what was going on in her parents' minds. Universities reach out to students about suicide. There were 1 or 2 each year or semester that my child's university would send parents and students a letter about. Pressure over grades or succeeding or lonliness or missing friends and family, etc. can intensely affect young people. So can gossip. Whatever the reason is for the roommate leaving this semester, I only wish her happiness.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

@Desertdi wrote:
My Ma was intent on sending me to Vassar (I had the grades) so I would become a socialite and marry a rich man. Instead, I took 2 years at a local college, and then went to work. She never forgave me til her dying day.

OMG, we must have the same mother!!! Mine wanted me to go to Vassar also, just so she could brag to the neighbors! I did go on to graduate from a 4 year college, but not Vassar!!

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

Your daughter is fortunate that her roommate and the boyfriend went to a motel. Many couples, when I was in college would just do "it" right there in the room while the roommate was sleeping! No money for motels. EWWWWW

JustJazzmom · ‎03-09-2010

@Sooner wrote:
@ROMARY wrote:
Dorms of the seventies aren't the same as today's dorms. (Somebody here mention dorms.) Lots of 'different' things going on in today's dorms. The women's dorms 'way back' had a 'house mother' (or whatever she was called), making sure the women were safely in, at late evenings, by a certain time, and not missing, etc. ....... I wouldn't have minded living in dorms 'way back', but not today. I wouldn't want 'guys' roaming in and out of my room, shower area, etc. But, that's just me. I like my privacy, more or less. JMO, of course. To each her own.
I lived in a co-ed dorm in 1971. Alternate floors for men and women. I don't remember any problems. . .except some idiot on one of the upper floors had a pet DUCK in his room. But that being said, it was fine.

I guess dorm life wasn't what it was quacked up to be!

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼

Shorty2U · ‎03-09-2010

I don't know what Id have done if I were the OP. But I believe she was just trying to be helpful in packing/clearing out the items since the student just up and left. So I wont judge someone who was trying to be helpful!

Also after reading these posts about various "college" stories, I am now glad that my granddaughter who just graduated high school in June is taking a year off before starting college to work and travel (overseas). Because i want her to be ready and sure. I was a bit upset at first because in my day if you took a year off, well you never went to college. My granddaughter assures me lots of kids now do this and she is going next Fall so I sit and wait and believe she will go (because she was a high honors student in high school). And she says she will not settle for some job. She wants to go straight through for her Masters. once she starts college "next year" She will more than likely go locally. There are 4 super great colleges nearby to her home.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles

Disneylandfan · ‎03-10-2010

@ROMARY wrote:
The daughter/student just might return, after much coaxing by her mother. If her room is paid for for the entire semester...... Also, who knows.........the daughter's boyfriend may decide to move to her college area. Lots of things can happen at this point. Especially if that room is paid for the entire semester. The mom may want those items. .......... On the other hand, if the mom has lots of spending money to 'throw around', she might not care one bit.

She might but If a student disenrolls they can't live in the dorms, even if they paid for the semester/quarter. So the question is did she inform the school that she was leaving.

That was true when I was a student and it's still true with my son's university. I think it's fairly standard because the schools don't want someone using the dorms if they're not attending the university.

And my guess would be that a few items left behind are not what that mom is thinking about. If you've just lost $10,000 on tuition and housing I doubt $200 worth of items even rates a footnote.