Community Chat

[151949]

My nursing school roomate was asked to leave mid first semester and they never put anyone in her space - I had the room all to myself until the end of that term. The next term I paid a little more and moved into a single room - best money I ever spent, even if it was on the 4th floor and I had to walk the stairs.I kept that room until I graduated.

[SeaMaiden]

School is not for everybody nor should it be expected unless the young person decideds that is for them.. many students only go because their parents expect it of them. In that case most of the time it is  just as much  a waste of money as the student goes through the motion of school, not wanting to be there at all or gain anything from it.  

Best the girl decided early and dropped out. Her parents are out less$$$ that way. They dropped a few thousand yes... but that is much less than if she stayed in school hating it and their paying for it .

 She has the right to do what she wants as an adult.   You can have a great life  WITHOUT COLLEGE OR A DEGREE.  I made great money during my career... retired three years ago  and only had a high school education.  I was very happy doing what I did and it was very fulfilling. College is not the end all. 

[JeanLouiseFinch]

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@petepetey wrote:

Thank you for being kind. Thank you to those that offered support.

Some here are very judgemental and harsh.

The college told my daughter it was hers and the girl leaving it behind did too.

So, why should she be stuck with it? She has no place to keep it. I do and I will keep it for now. 

I'm taking care of my daughter and I think many of you here would do that same. 

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You may not like the responses, but they were based on the information you presented in your OP.  In your OP, you never said the other girl told your daughter she could have the property.  If you had, responses would have likely been quite different.

[sunshine45]

you mentioned "who doesnt visit a school before you attend?" the university i chose was not  close and i did NOT go to visit the school before i began attending. it was the first time i was ever away from home by myself.

in regards to the items the girl left behind. i would probably just pay it forward and get her address and send her the items and not expect anything in return. she gets her stuff back, your daughter has a clean room, and you would have done a good deed.

[Lucky Duck]

Two thoughts here:

1.  Do the parents know she dropped out?  Did she go off to live witih the boyfriend?

2.  I lived in married student housing at a university and when people moved out and left stuff (furniture, etc.), the items left were kept in storage for 1 year before any further action could be taken.  Most students advertised what they didn't want and those items were always snapped up by someone.   

I believe the belongings left by students in dorms may be given to charity.  I do know someone left a bicycle at a dorm and it stayed parked where he left it for several years.

[151949]

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

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@petepetey wrote:

Thank you for being kind. Thank you to those that offered support.

Some here are very judgemental and harsh.

The college told my daughter it was hers and the girl leaving it behind did too.

So, why should she be stuck with it? She has no place to keep it. I do and I will keep it for now. 

I'm taking care of my daughter and I think many of you here would do that same. 

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You may not like the responses, but they were base on the information you presented in your OP.  In your OP, you never said the other girl told your daughter she could have the property.  If you had, responses would have likely been quite different.

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It is always something how the story changes isn't it?

[Trinity11]

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@petepetey wrote:

Thank you for being kind. Thank you to those that offered support.

Some here are very judgemental and harsh.

The college told my daughter it was hers and the girl leaving it behind did too.

So, why should she be stuck with it? She has no place to keep it. I do and I will keep it for now. 

I'm taking care of my daughter and I think many of you here would do that same. 

_____________

You failed to mention that the girl told your daughter it was hers. That puts a different light on your thread.

If you mentioned that you would have gotten different replies. Your daughter is an adult? Isn't it up to her and her decision then? If she is alright with giving it to charity than it should be her decision.

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[Maudelyn]

SMH at the judgements made by people who have no clue what really transpired in the "drop out's" family. Do we really know that the mom dropped the daughter off and walked away, do we really know if the daughter and her family have problems?  Do we really know that the mom just wanted to get rid of her daughter or she wanted the daughter to be away from her boyfriend?  What was the point of stating that the roommate and her boyfriend spent 3 days in a motel?  We're attributing a lot of stuff to people we don't know from a hole in the wall.

BTW, I would have asked my daughter to text the roommate about the disposition of her belongings.  And I would explain to my daughter that these things often happen with young people and it doesn't mean their lives are ruined.

[bonnielu]

I think you did the right thing.   You are willing to hold on and then make contact.  The school would have assigned the room.  The new roommate would have had to toss out what was there or keep it.  It was not her decision either.  You at least have contact info and are willing to make it right.  Good for you!

[CatsyCline]

leaving after 3 weeks into the first semester at college is hardly being a "drop-out".    adults sign up for continuing ed classes and half a dozen don't show up after the first class meeting. 

the college should not have foisted the roomates' belongings off on the OP's daughter. the RA should have handled that.