Community Chat

[smoochy]

...for perceived slights and insensitivity on my part dating back to last year. Says I shared l things on Facebook about her. And that i don't recognize or acknowledge her feelings sufficiently on several issues. Not true, in my opinion. Apparently she archived some posts so she could pull them up as evidence. she expects me to be a mInd reader, knowing what possibly might offend her. In fact as she well knows, I stopped posting anything that i thought was remotely about her and if I was unsure, I asked her permission., I was blind sided by her accounting of everything I've apparently done wrong and how deeply ive wounded her. I responded with a detailed scathing rebuttal. Then I followed up with softer texts, a video and emails, suggesting we get past this asap. Also suggesting that each of us try to be less hyper-sensitive, more tuned in to the other's feelings. She has taken the semester off her teaching job for mental health reasons. Continues to grieve the loss of her half brother. I only know about her leave because I contacted her recently, asking why she has distanced herself from me this past year. That opened the floodgates of her resentments. 

*crickets* for days now. 

she is my only living child.Single. Lives overseas. My blood family is just her, my grandson  (my deceased son's boy) and a cousin. Had no idea she would turn out to be a grudge holder of the highest order. Man. I thought my mom held the patent on that. 

Guess there's nothing more to do. Oh and as for her annual summer trip to the states, she will be spending two months in Michigan with her friends and her dad and his family. Glad I visited her in Jan 2024. 

[Love my grandkids]

@smoochy It's a shame and I doubt your "detailed scathing rebuttals" did anything to help. I will note that your post is full of negative things about her. I could go on but. . . 

[FancyPhillyshopper]

Wow.

I am not sure if you are asking for feedback or just venting about your life.

Criticizing both your mother and daughter as "grudge holders" means that YOU have a negative opinion of both of their actions (but what are you doing to improve YOUR actions?), and that is the relationship role model your daughter grew up with.

I do not use ANY social media to discuss family, and I think many people are much too lackadaisical to consider all the implications when they post away. 

I'm sorry you are at this stage with your daughter, but blasting back and forth in a written form is silly. Don't you at least face-time each other with regular calls?

Really I do not like to respond to these types of posts on QVC, because first and foremost this is a shopping channel, but sometimes I just feel very bad for many posters who are so unhappy, when often they have helped to bring on the bad situations themselves.  

If it were my daughter, I would be showing up on her door with flowers and a tearful apology.

Best wishes.

[haddon9]

@smoochy I am so sorry at how your relationship has turned out with your adult daughter.  I hope that things turn around for the better for the both of you in the not too distant future.

I can't imagine dealing with a child who has shut you off.  Perhaps tere is a group that you can reach out to for ideas on how to reconcile or deal with your situation.

Going forward, one thing you have learned is to not share on social media anything to do with her.  Keep things quiet.  I would keep trying to reach out.

Wishing you the best.

[RetRN]

Well, lets hope your daughter doesn't see this!

[Oznell]

I'm so very sorry, @smoochy -- it must hurt terribly.  Keep holding out hope, and try to keep avenues open.  Hoping that time helps heal the estrangement.

[kaydee50]

@smoochy   Stay off "social media" and give your daughter a call.  Seems like it's up to you to make amends.  Good luck!

[Love my grandkids]

@FancyPhillyshopper It's a shopping channel but QVC has established these forums for all kinds of discussions. There are forums for fashion, beauty, sports, books, etc. We aren't limited to fashion. NOT being snarky just a reminder that we can talk about anything (mostly!).

[smoochy]

to be clear: I posted last July about the tragic death of her 20 yr old  half brother. I didn't say anything about her. I wanted to share that with my friends, some of whom live in that town and didnt realize it was my ex husband's boy. she said I shouldn't have done that. 

[DSD2]

@smoochy I am sorry that you and your daughter are estranged.

The only thing I might suggest is that you try and reconcile. Time and life are precious and fleeting. Sometimes the greatest regrets in life are missing giving and receiving love to those most precious to us.