Community Chat

[LorelaiGilmore]

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@smoochy wrote:

...for perceived slights and insensitivity on my part dating back to last year. Says I shared l things on Facebook about her. And that i don't recognize or acknowledge her feelings sufficiently on several issues. Not true, in my opinion. Apparently she archived some posts so she could pull them up as evidence. she expects me to be a mInd reader, knowing what possibly might offend her. In fact as she well knows, I stopped posting anything that i thought was remotely about her and if I was unsure, I asked her permission., I was blind sided by her accounting of everything I've apparently done wrong and how deeply ive wounded her. I responded with a detailed scathing rebuttal. Then I followed up with softer texts, a video and emails, suggesting we get past this asap. Also suggesting that each of us try to be less hyper-sensitive, more tuned in to the other's feelings. She has taken the semester off her teaching job for mental health reasons. Continues to grieve the loss of her half brother. I only know about her leave because I contacted her recently, asking why she has distanced herself from me this past year. That opened the floodgates of her resentments. 

*crickets* for days now. 

she is my only living child.Single. Lives overseas. My blood family is just her, my grandson  (my deceased son's boy) and a cousin. Had no idea she would turn out to be a grudge holder of the highest order. Man. I thought my mom held the patent on that. 

Guess there's nothing more to do. Oh and as for her annual summer trip to the states, she will be spending two months in Michigan with her friends and her dad and his family. Glad I visited her in Jan 2024. 

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Have you really listened to her as a loving mother, or have you made it all about you by getting defensive? Whether or not you agree, as her mother and someone who supposedly loves her, you should try and hear her. It is her perspective, and again, whether or not you agree, her feelings are valid. You really let her down by not being a safe place for her to share. She can't trust you now, and she is likely very hurt. Again, it is not about you! I completely understand why she is setting a boundary with you for her mental health. Asking her to just move past it is dismissive. She needs to be heard and acknowledged by you in order for any chance of rebuilding. If you seriously want to understand her and want to have a good relationship, I would suggest that you see a counselor for advice.

[I am still oxox]

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@Love my grandkids wrote:

@I am still oxox Very defensive. Consider asking the Mods. to lock your post. Obviously taking comments you don't like isn't working for you.

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@Love my grandkids This is not even my thread, I think I am owed an apology, dont you 

[RescueLover]

After rereading the OP’s post…


There’s something very important that was never mentioned at all…



❤️ LOVE 🥰

[Zhills]

How many Mothers do NOT love their daugters?

I never met one!  Mother's love happens!

She talked about her daughter often and visited her overseas last year.   

What's to question?

[RescueLover]

Too many negatives used.


No Love and compassion shown. 🤷🏻‍♀️


I’m definitely on the daughters side. 😉

[vermint]

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@Zhills wrote:

How many Mothers do NOT love their daugters?

I never met one!  Mother's love happens!

She talked about her daughter often and visited her overseas last year.   

What's to question?

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@Zhills MANY mothers do not love their daughters...or their sons for that matter! Some are just incapable of making that connection. Read some of the other posts on this very thread, it happens. Not all parents, including fathers, love their children.

I consider myself blessed that my mother loved me...and if yours loved you, you were blessed, too.

[San Antonio Gal]

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@RescueLover wrote:



Too many negatives used.


No Love and compassion shown. 🤷🏻‍♀️


I’m definitely on the daughters side. 😉

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If @smoochy didn't love her daughter, this situation would not bother her.  I would say it's very judgemental of you to state that she does not love her daughter @RescueLover .   smh.

[manny2]

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@Rose429 wrote:

@smoochy i am sorry for the response u received when reaching out to this forum. U r already hurting and people piled it on. I think u and ur daughter will get past this. I am not a huge fan of social media in general. Especially facebook. Write her a letter and tell her u r off facebook. Try to meet her halfway and see if u both can put this behind u. The fact that she archived facebook posts for a while tells me this blow out has been building. She is on a mental health break so she is struggling. Keep that in mind. Let ur anger and hurt lessen over the next few days and then call and if she doesn't answer, send a letter. I wish u the best and hope u and ur daughter get past this.

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I agree @Rose429  This is a sensitive situation. The daughter is taking care of her mental health by taking a break.

@smoochy  and her daughter have a different way of dealing with the death of her son/ half-brother. Neither one is wrong. Both have to accept that every person has a different way of dealing with trauma.

I also think she has to listen to her daughter. You don’t have to agree, but you do have to listen. If you go on social media again. Do not mention her at all.

I do not see the issue with her posting on Facebook about her son. She has a right to grieve the way that comforts her.

Time will heal the wound. Communication is the key. Listen and respect what each has to say.

[RescueLover]

Hmmm… I actually took it as she’s looking for others to side with her. Not Me…


And I feel she broke her promise to her daughter by posting here.



An Even MORE public forum than Facebook! 🥴

[smoochy]

my daughter and I have resolved our issues. We are back on track and looking forward to seeing each other soon. For all of you hateful ppl who are ready to leave more nasty posts, save it. To the ones who took the trouble to try and understand my point of view, and discerned the emotions behind it, thank you. 😊 with a few exceptions, I have never seen such a mean spirited, vindictive group of women. You must be proud that you can rush to judgment, shame people when they are down. The fact that you congratulate each other on your posts, speaks volumes. 

I wanted to say something else that wouldn't be appropriate- so instead I'll phrase it like they do here in the south...Bless your hearts. May you experience the kindness that you have shown to me.