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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,832
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

A young woman from my DH's doctor's office called today to remind DH of his yearly appointment Monday 12/23 @ 10:00am.  I was caught off guard.and said he died in May.

 

The woman was beside herself, kept apologizing,  I told her it was okay, told her to have a good holiday and we hung up. I think she may have been new as a different girl called any other time. I forgot to call and cancel the appointment. He died in May and I wasn't thinking 7 months ahead.

 

My friend called right after I hung up with Dr.'s office and we were talking about the call. She would have ripped the woman a new one.  She can be "intense" for lack of a better word.

 

My therory is it wasn't intentional, the woman felt bad enough, why would I make her feel worse than she already did. What purpose would it serve?

 

Thoughts?

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Valued Contributor
Posts: 670
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

I think you handled it very well.  You were kind and realized it wasn't the girls fault.  You are a class act!  Merry Christmas.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,548
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

You can never go wrong being kind.

 

 

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# IAMTEAMWEN
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,719
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

I would have handled it the same way you did.

 

What purpose would it have served if you ripped her a new one.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,530
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

@Retired Legal Secretary Of course you did the right thing.

 

A few months after my DH died, a camera shop where he was a long time customer called about something he had been looking for. I nicely explained and the poor guy couldn't apologize enough. I told him it was OK, not to beat himself up.

 

Your friend isn't "intense", she's mean.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,469
Registered: ‎05-08-2010

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

@Retired Legal Secretary You sound like a kind and level headed woman.  You did the right thing.  I would say a prayer for your friend.

 

So sorry for the loss of you husband.  This time of year is a time of remembering lost loved ones.  It is hard.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,304
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

@Retired Legal Secretary You handled  it perfectly....with grace and kindness.

 

No one would intentionally make a call like that to hurt you...your friend would have been very unkind and rude to rip into the poor woman calling.

 

I know this is a tough holiday season for you...I hope you and your daughter are able to enjoy each other and your little kitty, and are comforted with good memories of your DH.  Sending you a cyber-hug.

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Valued Contributor
Posts: 531
Registered: ‎12-17-2011

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

@Retired Legal Secretary @You handled it really well. 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,763
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

The day after my husband died, the hospital where he had been a patient a couple of weeks before called to see how he was doing.  When I told the young woman he had died the day before, she too, was horrified.  A few days later, my husband's doctor's office also called to see how he was doing.  Same response.  

Same thing happened to my sister years ago when her husband died.  The next day his cardiologist's office called to say he had missed his appointment that morning.  When my sister told them it was because he had died, they were extremely apologetic.

 

Why get mad at any of those poor girls?  How were they to know?  I thought it was extremely kind of all places to inquire of their health in the first place.

 

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,460
Registered: ‎06-13-2010

Re: My Friend Thought I was Too Forgiving.

I think your response was completely appropriate, and I would have done the same thing, because it was an inadvertent reminder. Poor thing will probably feel bad about it for a while, but at least you responded with kindness, and not an emotionally charged negative response.

 

 

~~~All we need is LOVE💖