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02-15-2015 08:24 PM
homedecor1: I can't count the number of times that non-r*ligious brought-up youngsters ended up the very opposite, even working in that field. (And vise-versa.) The Universe works in mysterious ways, always evening out things in the long run. Not to worry....
02-15-2015 08:30 PM
02-15-2015 08:32 PM
Homedecor1, I can understand your concerns and they would be mine too. Remember when Archie Bunker took baby Joey and had him baptized? Couldn't relate to that when I watched the show as a middle-schooler, but I could now. However, I'd know better than to do that and would force myself to keep quiet.
02-15-2015 10:03 PM
Give it a bit more time; maybe there is a compromise that can be made between you and your DD. Good luck and congratulations.
02-16-2015 01:36 AM
02-16-2015 07:21 AM
Remember the wedding is for THEM. Not for mom or dad or family. My friend had the same thing happen to her. Her daughter got engaged and absolutely didn't want a wedding of any sort! My friend was heartbroken, this being her only daughter. Her daughter got married at the courthouse and my friend had a dinner for them and immediate family at a local restaurant. That was it! Pay more attention to their marriage, a wedding is just one day.
02-16-2015 12:33 PM
In addition to the rest of advice you've been given, I'd like to suggest you give them some time and DON'T pester them about it. If you can be patient (and I know it's hard), they might change their minds.
I'm just the opposite: my DH and I tried to bribe our son and his now-wife to elope. We offered them money but they went ahead and had a nice wedding and we gave them the money anyway
And now we're awaiting our first grandchild this summer.
BTW...the best advice I was ever offered regarding their marriage was: STAY OUT OF IT. If and when they ask you to take sides in a disagreement DON'T DO IT. I have a sister whose son has been married for over 20 years; that was the first advice she gave me and it's served me well.
Also, OP, I love your name.
02-16-2015 02:10 PM
I can understand your disappointment, but this is your daughter's wedding, and you should honor her wishes. Instead of insisting on the big wedding of your dreams, rejoice that she is marrying a fine young man -- and perhaps help to make the dinner after their courthouse nuptuals a memorable event. And be glad you aren't wrestling with a daughter who wants more wedding than you and your husband can comfortably afford (a frequent situation and source of family angst). Don't let your dreams of a big wedding become a source of conflict and discomfort between you and the happy couple.
02-18-2015 10:08 AM
I understand your disappointment but it is her wedding. I'll always remember when I got engaged, I wanted a small wedding, a something simple, but my mom wanted "a wedding", so I let her plan most of it, she had fun. While I enjoyed the day, it was "her" day and not "my" day. I have a daughter and if she ever gets married, she's going to have "her" day. A friend of mine recently went to a "party" the day after the couple went to the courthouse and had a simple wedding with their parents only but the next day had a party, maybe that would work. Whatever you do, don't "guilt" them into anything, they'll never forget it, I never did and I've been married for 37 years.
03-13-2015 12:15 AM
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