Community Chat

[arrabella]

So very sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you and your family.

[conlt]

I am sorry for your loss. My dad did not feel good in June of 2001. His cardiologist thought he might have a carotid problem. In July he ended up having surgery for his gall bladder and the chest x-Ray showed a spot on his lung. We went to multiple appointments and established a plan with an Oncologist. My dad started chemotherapy and within seconds of the chemo being started he died of an apparent allergic reaction. It was quite a shock to all of us, but especially to me and my mother because we were there. It took me a long to me to start to feel better and accept his death. Now 16 years later, I am happy that he did not have to suffer the horrible ill effects of a long-drawn out cancer treatment and probably death. He died with hope that he was going to beat the cancer. I am so very sorry for you. Just grieve, people will try to stop you from crying, reminiscing, and grieving because they are uncomfortable. I say just grieve, that is a normal response to a death and you have to go through it to come out the other side. 

[Marienkaefer2]

I'm really sorry for you and your family!!!!

All I can say is, hold onto each other and help each other navigate the grief. 

Regarding his health and the doctor, all I can think is that if your dad didn't mention anything out of the ordinary, the doc wouldn't have reason to test for anything specific like cancer.

Still, considering how the cancer had spread, it's hard to know why there wouldn't be any strong symptoms.

Did he have bloodwork done at his yearly exam?  If so, it's a mystery to me why something wouldn't have shown up there.

[jubilant]

I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your Dad. I think it is always harder when it happens unexpectedly.  My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

[goldensrbest]

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@KaliaMonet wrote:

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@goldensrbest wrote:

I am sorry your dad passed away, back in 1991 my dad was 61,he died of lung cancer, but he smoked most of his life.

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I'm sorry for your loss. My dad didn't smoke, but he was exposed to A LOT of secondhand smoke growing up. My gramma (his mom) would smoke like a chimney-- sometimes two packs or more a day-- and smoke around him and his brother all the time. She had no regard for who she was around. She was always "smoking doesn't cause cancer!" or "It's my life! If I want to smoke, it makes me happy. I'll smoke. It isn't going to kill you." She was inconsiderate. If you want to smoke, do it outside if you have kids or grandkids. I'm worried about my own lungs now because she smoked around me all the time too when she lived here with us before she passed. And sorry to all the smokers out there, but you're cruel and commiting murder when you smoke around your family. If you want to harm yourself, no one can stop you, but don't harm others. 

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So many family members smoked ,in my family  my mom,dad,grandparents ,aunts we grew up always being around smoke in the 50's,60 's and beyond ,when i had my first son,i anounced no one was smoking around him,my mil had a total fit,this was1971 she died in2010 ,of lung cancer.

[ILoveFragrance]

I am so so sorry for your loss.

[Mustang Shar]

@KaliaMonet

My heart breaks for you, I'm so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and that you can take some comfort in knowing we care.😢😢😢🌹🙏🏻

[Firefly3]

I am so very sorry for your loss!

I am sure this has to be a terrible shock for your family.

You and yours will be in my prayers today and I hope you will find peace.

Stay strong and remember how much he loved you.

Peace!

[pitdakota]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

I am so sorry to hear this @KaliaMonet. What a shock. If your dad wasn't experiencing symptoms like the normal ones associated with lung cancer (coughing, shortness or breath, chest discomfort, back pain, etc..) I don't know what normal yearly physicals would show without adding what other diagnostic tools like CT scans, etc.. would show when they suspect certain cancers.  Perhaps @pitdakota would know.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how angry and upset you are. I know you want answers and now. I would too!  Please accept my sincere condolences.

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Hi @Irshgrl31201, good to see you.

@KaliaMonet, I am so very sorry to hear about your father.  It is so very hard to lose a parent and more so under those circumstances.

I can't really add to what might have happened.  Some lung cancers are very aggressive and spread so quickly and in such a way that in some cases people have very little warning.  There are cases that when people just barely start to exhibit symptoms from lung cancer, it is already stage 4.  Just hard to say without having medical records to review.

What I will say is....don't blame yourself.  It is very common and understandable with this type of situation to be angry.  And that is okay.  One thing you might find some comfort in is that you mentioned your father was always so afraid of getting cancer.  So maybe think about if your father had been diagnosed he would have been a little frightened all the while going through treatment with no guarantee the treatment would have changed the outcome.  It is very little, but maybe that will help a wee bit.

I know you have to be going through a very difficult time.  Your father sounds like a wonderful man.  Big hugs to you. 

[Thrive]

                          I am so sorry for your loss.  My father died a month after a diagnosis of leukemia.  He visited doctors more than the average person.  There was never any indication of his illness.  To this day, I don't understand why this wasn't diagnosed sooner.  He was a great man, dad, and husband.  I struggle with this daily.  My prayers go out to you and your family.  May you find peace.