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Regular Contributor
Posts: 246
Registered: ‎01-29-2015

Two weeks ago, my father passed away suddenly. He was gardening in his backyard when a neighbor saw him fall over and called 911.

 

We thought he had a heart attack. After the autopsy, we discovered he had lung cancer! Both his lungs were riddled with tumors and it spread to other surrounding organs and throat. We were in shock! Either it was there for a long time or it developed and spread so quickly... 

 

He showed no signs or symptoms. He was fine up until the day he died. He was never short of breath. He lost weight recently, but he started exercising because he was trying to lose weight following a knee injury. In May, he had his yearly checkup and received a clean bill of health in exception of elevated blood pressure, an issue he's dealt with since his 30s. My dad was 62-years young; he and my mom and dad just celebrated 30-years of marriage May 11. 

 

I don't understand what's going on in the medical world. This is the second family member I've last to lung cancer in the past two years; both times, the person had a check-up prior to death/diagnosis and received clean bills of health (in my aunt's case, she went to the doctor due to frequent throat infections and wheezing. She was diagnosed with severe seasonal allergies). How are doctors missing this? I know there are good doctors out there, but recently, it's like my family as been plagued with doctors who can't do their jobs and are missing things that shouldn't be missed or misdiagnosed! I just don't understand.

 

I'm especially angry because I was very close to my father-- moreso than my other siblings-- and it hurts me so much that I didn't notice anything wrong with him and that he passed away alone because my mom was at work and I was out of town for a teaching conference. My brother is in a mental health facility, so he couldn't be there anyway; my two sisters still live in Canada (my mom, dad, brother, and I moved from Canada to Iowa a few years ago because my mom was transferred here for work). 

 

My dad was a good man and worked hard for everything. He grew up poor in a single-parent home and always vowed to give us kids the life he never had. He did a great job. He was an active member of his church. When he was home from work, he would sit outside on our porch and watch the neighborhood kids to make sure no one got hurt playing in the streets. The neighborhood kids dubbed him "Grandpa Earl" and knew my parents' house was a safe haven. He made the best steaks and fried chicken and often dreamed of opening his own small diner when he retired. He was an accounting manager and was gifted with numbers. He treated my mom like a queen and loved us kids strongly. He valued education and encouraged us to always keep learning. He was my rock and inspiration and a great listener. He didn't deserve such a shocking, surprise death. 

 

I normally don't ask for anything on here, but could you please pray for me and my family as we try to navigate such a shock? I would appreciate it. Thank you. 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,036
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

Your father sounds like he was a truly wonderful man.  I'm so very sorry for your loss...be assured of prayers for all of you.  Sending you a cyber hug, to go along with the prayers.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,516
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

@KaliaMonet  I am very sorry for your loss.  I cannot speak to why your dear Dad was not diagnosed earlier.  Sometimes parents don't always reveal health issues, either, to their children.   In my experience, anyway.

 

May you and your loved ones be surrounded in loving and healing light.

 

Take care.Heart

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,408
Registered: ‎01-27-2014

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

@KaliaMonet I'm so, so sorry for your loss! He sounds like a great man---and you sound like a great daughter to him, too. Having lost my Mom, I know first-hand that there's really not anything that anyone can say to make things better. You've experienced a tremendous loss. Just know that our (people on this board) hearts are with you! I, for one, will be praying for you. Hugs! 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,520
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

Praying for you and your family. Men don't like to complain when they are in pain - it's possible he didn't tell his dr everything he was feeling.  That's why women have to push their men to get to the dr and go with them to tell the dr what is going on.  It's possible your dad knew he was sick and just didn't say anything to anyone.  I'm so sorry for your loss - sounds like he was a remarkable man. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,077
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

I am sorry your dad passed away, back in 1991 my dad was 61,he died of lung cancer, but he smoked most of his life.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,845
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  I can understand being a bit angry since your dad had a yearly check up just last month with no indication that there was a problem . Doctors aren't perfect but still it's hard to understand how this could have been missed.

 

Prayers are sent your way.  Your dad sounds like he was a wonderful man!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,889
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

@KaliaMonet- I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. It's so hard. 

 

My mother died from lung cancer, but we had the diagnosis in advance. 

 

My condolences to you and your family. I'm so sorry. 


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,303
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

My prayers are with you and your family. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: My Dad Passed Away Suddenly

@KaliaMonet

 

 

I am sorry for your loss, and my heart goes out to you.

 

 

From my experience, doctors don't run every test for every possible cancer, at routine check-ups.

 

I don't know if you are a person of faith, but G-d determined that it was time to call him Home.

 

 

I pray that you will find strength and comfort during this difficult time from friends, family, and faith.