My 86 yr old mom - Page 4

Spurt · ‎03-20-2010

Prayers for your mom! 😥🙏

Animals are reliable, full of love, true in their affections, grateful. Difficult standards for people to live up to.”

RooRoo · ‎03-10-2010

@Just Bling My experience was exactly like yours even down to bringing my puppy to the skilled nursing home every day. I didn't go 3x/day though as it was an hour drive each way. I had the benefit of other's experiences and had seen an "elder care attorney" prior to her needing this type of care. My suggestion to the OP is to echo what another poster mentioned, look into how you or her are going to pay for whatever is coming down the road. See if she qualifies for any programs for the elderly, I wish you luck with that. I also did not like having a 24 hour assistant and my mom was nervous with her in her house. She would sneak out at night, imagine if my mom would've fallen then, omg.

It was a trying time but I will never regret being there for mom.

LoganPup · ‎04-18-2010

@Just Bling wrote:
@goldensrbest

My mom's health started to decline about the same time, it's going to be very hard on you if you don't have help.

Listen to those Social Workers with one ear, they work for the Hospital and they make you think they are working for you. After your mom gets out of the hospital she has an opportunity to go to rehab. Under Medicare, she has up to 100 days but usually the rehab centers are really good with the paperwork and if she's ready or not, they'll release her before the 100 days.

Now that's another issue with rehab, you think they are helping her and I found my mom just sitting there and doing nothing yet they call it rehab. This was a highly rated place in the State.

Once there at rehab before the 100 days (trust me you'll know), somebody comes in and gives her an assessment if he is able to return to her home, that's pretty tricky too, they actually come to the home and look at the steps, bathroom, bedroom, etc. If they believe she is not able to return home, you will have to find other arrangements for her either assisted living or nursing home.

What I'm saying is you think oh great, rehab, that will help her and inturn, you opened a can of worms.

I lived this, this is first hand knowledge.

Also, if they decided that she recovered and was able to go home, bars to hold on should be installed and other safety issues should be addressed, make the area open etc. My mom didn't want a necklace either and that was hard too.

So they the social worker offered to have a visiting nurse come in. That was another story, sure you think it's great, all the visiting nurses I encountered came into the home, sat themselves down at the table, opened up the computer and asked a million questions. Did they actually do anything, no, and that was sad. So we had rehab in the house too, this guy came, did the same thing as the visiting nurse, asked my mom to raise her leg one at a time and he left, that was one session! I'm not saying that they are all like that but I sure didn't have any and I mean anything good to say about any of these people. All they knew was to how to bill Medicare. So sad.

I also hired a skilled nursing assistant to actually come and live at the house. Well, her thoughts were different than what was expected of her. She did absolutely nothing and I mean it, that didn't last long. She also had her boyfriend come over and bring her food and that scared my mom that strangers were coming to the house. No one is watching so they believe they can do anything they want.

At the end, my mom was in a skilled nursing facility private pay and if I didn't visit 3X a day, yes, I was there 3X a day, she wouldn't of gotten the care she needs.

Give her a big hug because my mom is gone but overall, I do not regret one minute of my time that I spent watching over her and protecting her.

It will be hard on you, my siblings didn't do a thing and sort of glad they didn't get in the way and I think of you getting your new pup, that was the same time I got my new pup (10 wks old) and took my pup with me when I was with my mom.

Just hugs, it's not going to be easy and I surely won't tell you it will be.

Please keep my thoughts in the back of your mind. Our health care system does not support the elderly at all, at times, they wrote my mom off many times and she kept going until no more.

@Just Bling

Thank you for this post I learned a great deal and totally agree with your assessment of the folks coming to the home.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@goldensrbest

All of our replies have the best intentions and are offered with concern and good wishes for your mother.

This will be a wait and see, and my guess is that you will be hearing a lot of information during the next week. Your mother's fall resulted in serious injuries, and for someone her age, this is a traumatic health situation.

It has been my experience that mom or dads fall with serious injuries, is the eye opener for adult children to really grasp and understand how their parent is really getting along/functioning in their home.

My mother continuously says she is fine, but I know and see, she is NOT fine, and is one fall away from a disastrous situation.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

She did some serious damage to herself, she's hospitalized most likely won't be going home anytime soon. You need to find put from her doctors when they anticipate she'll be discharged if it will be to a rehab or extended care facility.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@chrystaltree So sorry to hear about your mom's fall and all her injuries. I said a prayer for her.

My mom will be 92 this month. I mentioned an alert system to her a couple of weeks ago. She is getting a little more forgetful so, for her, it would have to be something she never took off or a cell phone she keeps on her person at all times. Every situation is so different. I imagine she will be in rehab for some time. I have found there are no easy solutions. Every situation is different. We went through a lot with my Dad. Just try to take it one day at a time. God bless you both.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@goldensrbest wrote:
She has fell twice this week , she is in the hospital ribs ,broke ,puntured a lung, looking fo info .on those necklaces one wears ,if she gets to come home,at some point, that people wear ,to contact 911.

@goldensrbest

I am sorry to read this about your mother, she is about 3 years my elder. Others have given you their input on devices that are available for your mother, I know little about those things.

I however can relate to her injuries. In late July I fell while ice skating and knew I had broken a rib, because of having multiple other ribs broken. When this has happened in the past, I always go to the ER on the way home from the rink.

The reason I have always went is because of the risk of puncturing a lung. In the past I had not done so, this time was different. My left lung was punctured and I spent 2 days in the hospital so they could make sure the hole had closed sufficiently for me to be released.

I won't go into all the other things that occurred after I had to go back into the hospital to spend another day. What they found out was I had not broken A rib, I had broken 4 of my upper left ribs.

Over the decades I have had many serious injuries, but a broken rib is one of the most painful of them all. It makes it painful to breathe normally, and it interferes with how you sit, and even moreso, how you lie down. They also take many months to completely heal. Mine are still not past the painful part, and it's been over the months.

Has any doctor said "why" she is falling down? While I know age is a factor, many fall for or from some reason. My late mother-in-law fell because her hip broke, causing her to fall.

My older sister will be 88 in December, and her husband is already 88. They both still work the barn with their 2 horses and take care of their 10 acre property. I am telling you this only to let you know, I understand age is a factor, but "things" usually cause older people to fall. I would sure address this with her doctor(s).

My best wishes to you and your mother. I hope between your family/doctors can do what will be best for your mother now, and in the future.

hckynut

hckynut(john)

Flatbush · ‎07-18-2015

@Just Bling wrote:
@goldensrbest

My mom's health started to decline about the same time, it's going to be very hard on you if you don't have help.

Listen to those Social Workers with one ear, they work for the Hospital and they make you think they are working for you. After your mom gets out of the hospital she has an opportunity to go to rehab. Under Medicare, she has up to 100 days but usually the rehab centers are really good with the paperwork and if she's ready or not, they'll release her before the 100 days.

Now that's another issue with rehab, you think they are helping her and I found my mom just sitting there and doing nothing yet they call it rehab. This was a highly rated place in the State.

Once there at rehab before the 100 days (trust me you'll know), somebody comes in and gives her an assessment if he is able to return to her home, that's pretty tricky too, they actually come to the home and look at the steps, bathroom, bedroom, etc. If they believe she is not able to return home, you will have to find other arrangements for her either assisted living or nursing home.

What I'm saying is you think oh great, rehab, that will help her and inturn, you opened a can of worms.

I lived this, this is first hand knowledge.

Also, if they decided that she recovered and was able to go home, bars to hold on should be installed and other safety issues should be addressed, make the area open etc. My mom didn't want a necklace either and that was hard too.

So they the social worker offered to have a visiting nurse come in. That was another story, sure you think it's great, all the visiting nurses I encountered came into the home, sat themselves down at the table, opened up the computer and asked a million questions. Did they actually do anything, no, and that was sad. So we had rehab in the house too, this guy came, did the same thing as the visiting nurse, asked my mom to raise her leg one at a time and he left, that was one session! I'm not saying that they are all like that but I sure didn't have any and I mean anything good to say about any of these people. All they knew was to how to bill Medicare. So sad.

I also hired a skilled nursing assistant to actually come and live at the house. Well, her thoughts were different than what was expected of her. She did absolutely nothing and I mean it, that didn't last long. She also had her boyfriend come over and bring her food and that scared my mom that strangers were coming to the house. No one is watching so they believe they can do anything they want.

At the end, my mom was in a skilled nursing facility private pay and if I didn't visit 3X a day, yes, I was there 3X a day, she wouldn't of gotten the care she needs.

Give her a big hug because my mom is gone but overall, I do not regret one minute of my time that I spent watching over her and protecting her.

It will be hard on you, my siblings didn't do a thing and sort of glad they didn't get in the way and I think of you getting your new pup, that was the same time I got my new pup (10 wks old) and took my pup with me when I was with my mom.

Just hugs, it's not going to be easy and I surely won't tell you it will be.

Please keep my thoughts in the back of your mind. Our health care system does not support the elderly at all, at times, they wrote my mom off many times and she kept going until no more.

@Just Bling Thank you for exposing some uncomfortable truths.I have had similar experiences and was not prepared. I am sure you will have alerted many people.

nascarfan · ‎11-17-2012

I will pray for your mother. My father lived with me and after a surgery that required home rehabillitation, the hospital sent someone to my home who identified things that are a hazard for the elderly. It was so helpful. I learned a simple scatter rug may cause some one to trip and fall. Another tripping hazard is using a long quilt to cover their legs. When they get up the fabric on the floor gets tangled at their ankles.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

@goldensrbest I am so sorry to read about your mother falling. I wish her a very speedy recovery, I know how stressful it must be for you as well so take care of yourself.