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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,623
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I believe if the family had wanted this young man to be close to his grandmother, he would have seen her more than five times in his life.

I wouldn't do it.

No way.

My condolences to you and your mother on your loss.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,021
Registered: ‎03-12-2010
On 1/25/2015 minkbunny said:

I believe if the family had wanted this young man to be close to his grandmother, he would have seen her more than five times in his life.

I wouldn't do it.

No way.

My condolences to you and your mother on your loss.

Bingo.

I failed to add my condolences. I'm sorry you lost your dad OP.

_____ ,,,^ ._. ^,,,_____
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2,146
Registered: ‎03-09-2010
On 1/25/2015 Tissyanne said: Rent money is not a concern. Her ability to cope with a young man away from home for the first time 2000 miles away concerns me. She imagines he will be no problem at all. Keep in mind she has only seen him 5 times, and has no real knowledge of his habits etc.
The fact that she does not really know him is key......and if she does not care to have him there, once he has moved in, how do you throw out your grandchild? She'd be stuck.....maybe a trial run or something?
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,916
Registered: ‎05-13-2012

It could be just what your mother needs. If it doesn't work out I am sure they can change the arrangements and he can head to a dorm (why isn't he going into a dorm anyway?).

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,513
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Turn both ages around ... oh no no no no, I wouldn't do it. A college freshman with friends in the house? Good heavens, no.

Super Contributor
Posts: 622
Registered: ‎11-13-2010
On 1/25/2015 minkbunny said:

I believe if the family had wanted this young man to be close to his grandmother, he would have seen her more than five times in his life.

I wouldn't do it.

No way.

My condolences to you and your mother on your loss.

That's an excellent, point, minkbunny! And OP, so sorry about your dad.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,954
Registered: ‎03-10-2010
On 1/25/2015 minkbunny said:

I believe if the family had wanted this young man to be close to his grandmother, he would have seen her more than five times in his life.

I wouldn't do it.

No way.

My condolences to you and your mother on your loss.

The grandmother is still alive. Where there is life, there is hope to form a bond with your family.

Grandmom just went through a major loss and is probably lonely...getting to know her grandson might be perfect right now.

I NEVER would second guess people who want to get close to their family.

If it doesn't work out...you can always reconsider the arrangement.

I would always give family a chance.

BTW - your mom doesn't see any problems with this. She is an adult and has her faculties...she can make her own decisions on who she wants to live with her!

Super Contributor
Posts: 2,234
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

My two nephews in Texas lived with my Father while attending college. For the most part it worked out great.

One got married and moved out.

Then other one moved out.

Then married one and his wife moved back for one year which is now 1.5 years.

It has been great.

But it is time.

They need some more private time before beginning a family.

So they are buying my Father's home of 40 years.

My sister and her husband are building a new larger home and he is moving in with them come March. He is sick with the flu right now, just came down with is Saturday and yes he had the flu shot.

I would say he is in average health for a man his age and has a few mobility issues.

It could be a GREAT benefit to the grandmother AND the grandson. Might not be perfect. And yes the nephews sometimes their rooms and laundry would pile up but they knew how to operate the washer & dryer.

That she's only seen him 5 times in 18 years is sad. But maybe it will work.

Good Luck!

Super Contributor
Posts: 940
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Question: If your mother needed a home, would your grandson provide one for her? (Or your brother for that matter?) Tides turned.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,623
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

terrier, the young man could live in a dorm and visit his grandmother daily if he chose to.

If she is a private person who is a very particular housekeeper, adding the additional stress of a teenager with the erratic hours that would involve is not needed at this time in her life.

No one is saying they cannot bond.

My children loved their dorm life and the friends they made there.