Community Chat

[CAcableGirl2]

If you are debating on whether or not to go, imagine living through the same issues over and over and over during the next days, weeks, and months. 

Most people don't change (some can and will), but the history of a person and how they have treated you and others over the years will tell you what the future holds.

It is entirely your decision, don't try to overthink this.  If it were me, I would ask myself "would I be happier here or in my old place".

Your happiness is what is important.  I am on my own after being with someone for about 3 decades and I am honestly happier than I have ever been.

Here is an example that struck home for me.  I used to drive home and dread seeing his car in the driveway because that meant he was home, and I wouldn't take vacation days from work if I knew he was also going to be off work.  I'm sure he felt the same about me, so it wasn't just one sided.  You will know in your heart when it's time to end the toxic situation and move on with a new life.

It can be scary, but sometimes the unknown is much better than what you already know.  

Life if wonderful with zero stress now.  The only person I have to answer to is myself and I'm pretty fabulous.

[CAcableGirl2]

@Laura14  this ones for you...

[sissel]

You can't change people, you can only change yourself. Best of luck to you and enjoy your new life.

[Sweet_Serenity]

@CAcableGirl2 

Bless You! Thoughtful uplifting message. Long ago realized after several attempts living with someone (significant other) not for me. No fault to the person or myself. Discovery of singleness life changing. Benefits numerous. Challenged myself, sought therapy healing process began. Today no longer desperate needing intimate relationship. Purpose in service to survivors. 

Have someone special we do not living together. Best wishes, Laura.

[Laura14]

@CAcableGirl2  I can not tell you how touched I am that you posted to me about this.  It was a lovely thing to wake up to and read.  Your kindness is really overwhelming. 

To have all of you, virtual strangers, care enough to take a moment and let someone know your experience and best wishes, well, there just aren't enough words of praise and hearts in the world.  

I broke completely down last Friday about a lot of things and it was one of the worst days of my life.  And all because nothing felt right and I personally hadn't felt right in a very long time just as you said. 

I'm working on feeling better and being kind to myself.  I realized, big time, that I need to do that and be good to me especially when I don't feel it or have it from anywhere else.  

Thank you so much for this post and everyone else's posts here and from before.  You have all been a true gift.