Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this? - Page 3

Suziepeach · ‎03-10-2010

@LonestarBabs wrote:
@Suziepeach Thanks. I don't know if anything will come of it, but I'm going to get as much information as possible to aid in the decision. I agree that one's final resting place is supposed to be final, and as one poster put it 'it's only a body and a box, the person isn't there' but according to the folks at the military cemetery relocation is quite common.

I have an appointment with the funeral director today to voice my concerns about the circus-like atmosphere of the cemetery, and while I'm there I'm going to bring up the subject of relocation. It may be too costly, but I won't know until I investigate!

As for Find-A-Grave -- it's been very helpful to me on two occasions: my childhood friend died and while I knew what cemetery she was buried in I had never seen the grave, and when I discovered my ex-husband had died and I wondered whether he was buried or cremated. Both time Find-A-Grave provided answers. It felt more to me like a catalog of information rather than intrusive.

@LonestarBabs, I hope it all goes well with the funeral director today, that's awful the circus-like atmosphere of the cemetery. I can't even begin to imagine why stuff like that is allowed to happen. That's like people trampling all over graves, turning over headstones, stealing flowers- so much disrespect!

As far as relocation goes, I don't have a clue but do know there's permits & etc that have to be done and from what little I read, it can be costly. I know you'll make the right decision and have the right people helping you with all the information.

Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

I will be doing this with my father down the road. He was cremated so it won't be very difficult. There is paperwork to fill out and I'll make a large donation in his name to the Memorial Park.

Since I'm moving an urn, it's not a huge ordeal. A coffin however....don't know.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@SahmIam wrote:
I will be doing this with my father down the road. He was cremated so it won't be very difficult. There is paperwork to fill out and I'll make a large donation in his name to the Memorial Park.

Since I'm moving an urn, it's not a huge ordeal. A coffin however....don't know.

Actually - at least in the state of Pa. when they bury cremeated remains they are still required to place a concrete rough box into the grave, & that box is sealed closed once the ashes are placed inside. For this reason, I'm sure it is just as expensive to remove the ashes as a body because they still have to dig up & remove the concrete box.

My DH & I went to the cemetery last summer and pre paid for the costs which will be incurred when we die to open the graves (family plot - we already own the graves) place the rough box and bury the cremated remains, and have the headstones made & placed. It was $5800 a piece.IMO - a ridiculous amount of money just to bury ashes but it is what it is. We will still have to pay someone here in Fl. to do the cremation, and a funeral director in Pa to have the actual funeral & the church to hold a memorial service.

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

@151949 wrote:
@SahmIam wrote:
I will be doing this with my father down the road. He was cremated so it won't be very difficult. There is paperwork to fill out and I'll make a large donation in his name to the Memorial Park.

Since I'm moving an urn, it's not a huge ordeal. A coffin however....don't know.
Actually - at least in the state of Pa. when they bury cremeated remains they are still required to place a concrete rough box into the grave, & that box is sealed closed once the ashes are placed inside. For this reason, I'm sure it is just as expensive to remove the ashes as a body because they still have to dig up & remove the concrete box.
My DH & I went to the cemetery last summer and pre paid for the costs which will be incurred when we die to open the graves (family plot - we already own the graves) place the rough box and bury the cremated remains, and have the headstones made & placed. It was $5800 a piece.IMO - a ridiculous amount of money just to bury ashes but it is what it is. We will still have to pay someone here in Fl. to do the cremation, and a funeral director in Pa to have the actual funeral & the church to hold a memorial service.

@151949 Yeah, same thing here but once removed, you simply have the urn to transport. With a coffin, you can't keep it in your house, move it in your SUV, etc. I've moved a body through multiple states....it was an expensive and time consuming endeavor. That was the difference I was referring to.

vermint · ‎04-05-2010

@151949 Thank you...to you and your DH...for what you do. Because of someone doing the same thing, I was able to "visit" the graves of my maternal grandparents. They are on the opposite side of the country from me, and I was not able to attend their funerals.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Except for that one ancient cemetery with the wild dogs we really enjoy doing it. We get out in the sun, walk around looking for the graves - we have found that the folks who work at the cemeteries are always very nice & very helpful -and can do a service for those who asked us to look someone up.

Within our own family - my DH has tied together all the graves with the rest of the family he has already journaled. So if you go to my grandparents Find a grave , you can also find a link to everyone else in my Dad's family that we have - all my Dad's brothers & sister etc. Same with my Mom's family, and DH's Mom's & Dad's families.Just to aide future genelogists. My DH has spent a tremendous amount of time putting this all together, over & above the time to go out and photograph the graves.

hennypenny · ‎03-10-2010

My mother always wanted to be scattered in a Japanese garden. But my grandparents who were still alive insisted on the family masoleum in Colma. We honored their wishes, but when they died we removed her ashes and my sister took her out and she is now resting in peace. With the ashes it was simple.

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

I found my grandparents grave with pictures on Find a Grave and someone in the family had posted their picture. The only picture I ever saw of him. He died before I was born.

LonestarBabs · ‎06-26-2011

I am happy to report that my conversation with the funeral director went well today. Relocation costs are reasonable, and they'll buy back the burial plots at current market value so by the time everything is said and done we actually come out ahead financially! Very easy process.

Cemetery owner acknowledged my concerns regarding the condition of the current burial site, and said that my complaints are not the first he's heard. They are tightening the rules regarding grave decorations, hours for visits, etc but he says people just keep messing it up. They are stepping up enforcement and maintenance but since it's all funded through a foundation and volunteer support, they can't do everything they want. There are even parties being held after hours with loud music so that the police are called.

Well, Dad's going to be moved out of there and will go to the DFW National Cemetery. We're going to start the process next week. I am so relieved!

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@RedTop wrote:
@LonestarBabs,
I was involved in moving a grave from our family cemetery last year. The widow had not actually wanted to bury her husband there, but was not able to reach anyone in charge of the other rural cemetery she wanted to bury him in by the time she made funeral arrangements. The daughter had convinced Mom that location was fine, but afterwards when Mom had time to think about what she'd done, she was not satisfied with her decision.

The widow contacted the funeral home that handled the initial burial. The funeral director prepared the application to exhume the body. Once all the permits were approved, he scheduled a team to open the grave, remove the body, and relocate it to the new location. The monument company was also scheduled to come back and move the headstone. The funeral director had stressed to his employees to take great care filling and leveling the original grave site since it will be used again at some point.

It cost as much to move the grave as the original funeral bill. I am in WV, and this process involved 2 rural cemeteries, where our rules are far more relaxed.

@RedTop

How strange .... Why would they remove the body from the coffin? Why not leave it in the coffin, keeping it closed, and move the coffin to the new location?