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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,515
Registered: ‎06-26-2011

Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

My father,  WWII vet, wanted to be buried in the military cemetery here in DFW. Mom pitched a fit because the spouse is placed in the same grave at the time of their death and Mom wasn't having it. She felt she deserved her own "hole" and wasn't going to be thrown in on top of him! So, Dad was buried in a private cemetery with headstone and a plot for Mom -- and space on the headstone -- next to him.

 

I visit Dad's grave on a regular basis and have noticed changes in the appearance and care of the area. The private cemetery is now looking tacky and junky and I was horrified to visit Dad's grave on Memorial Day and see that a circus had exploded! Balloons, obnoxiously colored fake flowers, pinwheels, art projects, etc. on graves are increasing and the place looks disrespected and tacky. The flag on Dad's footstone had been trampled, the footstone was covered in dirt, new graves are placed so close that I wonder if they are burying folks standing up!

 

So, I am thinking of moving Dad to the military cemetery -- Mom has softened her stance and now agrees to be buried there.

 

Anyone have experience with this? The folks at the military cemetery have been very helpful, and now I'm going to meet with the funeral director where Dad is buried to voice my concerns and explore the "relocation" process.

 

If only Mom hadn't pitched such a fit to begin with...SIGH

Occasional Contributor
Posts: 14
Registered: ‎04-10-2015

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

I tried to have my mom moved closer to where we lived at the time she was buried at a military cemetary.  When she passed it was newly opened but years have past and it is beautiful very glad I did not go through with it.  The reason we could not go through with it was the price of the whole thing removing my mom transporting her to a different cemetary opening the grave it was getting just too much for my dad and myself.  My dad passed ten years ago and the veterans gave him a hero's funeral and my mom was in a beautiful restful place now with my dad.  I understand why you want to change cemetaries but the cost is very high.  Wish you luck

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,172
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

I know a family that moved one but don't know the details.

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,882
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

Military cemeteries usually have a lot of restrictions, including but not limited to, usually requiring ashes, not coffins.  My parents are both buried at Arlington (within last 16 years) and the requirement in their cases was cremation.  There may be some less populated graveyards (think National cemetery near Arvin/Bakersfield) where this isn't the norm.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,523
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

@LonestarBabs,

I was involved in moving a grave from our family cemetery last year.   The widow had not actually wanted to bury her husband there, but was not able to reach anyone in charge of the other rural cemetery she wanted to bury him in by the time she made funeral arrangements.   The daughter had convinced Mom that location was fine, but afterwards when Mom had time to think about what she'd done, she was not satisfied with her decision.   

 

The widow contacted the funeral home that handled the initial burial.  The funeral director prepared the application to exhume the body.  Once all the permits were approved, he scheduled a team to open the grave, remove the body, and relocate it to the new location.   The monument company was also scheduled to come back and move the headstone.   The funeral director had stressed to his employees to take great care filling and leveling the original grave site since it will be used again at some point.   

 

It cost as much to move the grave as the original funeral bill.   I am in WV, and this process involved 2 rural cemeteries, where our rules are far more relaxed.   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,486
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

To me I don't think it would be worth it to remove a body to another site.  It's a body.  The person is no longer there, dust to dust. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,078
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?


@Sooner wrote:

To me I don't think it would be worth it to remove a body to another site.  It's a body.  The person is no longer there, dust to dust. 


I had wanted to say the same thing, but wasn't sure if i should  .

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

I personally believe that your final resting place should, in fact , be FINAL. However, I am aware not everyone feels this way.

It is deplorable the conditions that cemetaries are kept in these days. My DH volunters for the genelogy website FIND A GRAVE.com and we go & take pictures  of headstones at graves - we have to take a weed whacker and a leaf blower and broom with us to get the graves into decent condition so we can take the pictures. One cemetery is overrun with wild dogs& cats  and there is poop everywhere - that one is very very old and I doubt anyone but us visits there.God bless my DH for doing it - I am afraid to get out of the car there. Another , where my family are buried , is over run with deer & geese. They are everywhere. And their poop is everywhere too.Pretty disgusting. These cemetery companies have total lack of respect for the deceased. We have found that the only well kept cemeteries anymore are the catholic ones.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,812
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

@151949, I surprisingly discovered a stranger had taken pictures of my parents' grave and posted on findagrave..  I had a total hissy fit and in between findagrave and the stranger that posted them- public or not- privacy rules.. the gravesite was graciously removed and findagrave was respectful towards our family and apologized..  I was in tears when I saw it- neither of my parents would've liked that..  

 

I called the cemetery- we've been friends with the owners forever- was told people do this all the time..  I said, "They won't do that with my parents' ever again."  Like they said, had they seen someone doing that, they'd of asked them to not as they know how we are about our privacy..  

Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,960
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Moving a grave -- anyone ever done this?

[ Edited ]

@Smoky wrote:

@151949, I surprisingly discovered a stranger had taken pictures of my parents' grave and posted on findagrave..  I had a total hissy fit and in between findagrave and the stranger that posted them- public or not- privacy rules.. the gravesite was graciously removed and findagrave was respectful towards our family and apologized..  I was in tears when I saw it- neither of my parents would've liked that..  

 

I called the cemetery- we've been friends with the owners forever- was told people do this all the time..  I said, "They won't do that with my parents' ever again."  Like they said, had they seen someone doing that, they'd of asked them to not as they know how we are about our privacy..  


 I love where my parents are buried, except for the fact that a movie was filmed there and hoards of people gather there once a year and act like idiots. Running all over, taking pictures and just being disrespectful.