Community Chat

[QVCkitty1]

Why on earth would someone want to go some place they weren't invited? Sometimes families get bent out of shape over anything. 

[chickenbutt]

I agree with the others - her prerogative.

I also agree that inviting those who live far away and/or wouldn't attend anyway = gift grab.  Or, at least, it would/could be perceived that way.  

[terriebear]

It is not your party, not your wedding, stay out of the gossip. Simple.  Or Not your monkey, Not your circus!

[adoreqvc]

Come one..... come all!!!

Invite everyone who will be attending the Wedding, and do not exclude anyone.

If they can't make it, they will advise, but at least they will be happy to know they were invited, and not excluded for any reason.

[SaRina]

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

It goes without saying that it's her party so she calls the shots.  However, with that she's automatically making assumptions about other people and their decision to attend or not.  Unless there is definite bad blood between certain people or a legitimate reason where you know someone SHOULDN'T be there, I think I'd invite everyone who is in equal position (aunt, uncle, cousin) and let them all decide for themselves if it was something they wanted to attend or if the distance/expense would prevent them from participating.  By singling certain people out, based only on her assumptions, she could be creating a lot of problems and heartache within the family.  

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@This is exactly it, @JeanLouiseFinch.  My cousin has made (faulty) assumptions, there is no bad blood between people, and everyone in the family is in "equal position" as you said.  

I have decided not to go because my close sibling was not invited and there is no good reason for it.  :-(

[SaRina]

@MickD, my apologies to you!  I mis-read your post in my haste.  ITA that it is "no big wup" to have sent out invites to all!  

[SaRina]

Thank you all for your thoughts.  I appreciate the different perspectives.

One other (in my mind) important point to make is that the wedding will, in fact, be half way across the country where the bride and groom-to-be have been living for a couple of years, so this would have been the right time and the best time for everyone in our family to celebrate the occasion together more locally.  Oh, well....  I guess my family will grumble on, lol.

[homedecor1]

as we just went through this scenario with my nieces wedding...I'll add my 2 cents.

My niece was adamant about NOT inviting certain family members for many reasons one being she had not seen them for years, some cause "stress", etc. Her theory was it was HER day and only wanted those there who she wanted.

She was overruled by my sister! Her thought was those who had to travel, etc. could make their own decisions and guess what none of them came NOR sent a card.

the wedding was perfect and really we didn't miss them! I think it's best to extend invite and let them decide vs. being not invited and more hard feelings!

[bri20]

People usually grumble when invited or grumble when they're not invited. You simply cannot please everyone. Lol

[KathyPet]

First of all this has nothing to do with wedding etiquette.  This is not the wedding.  It is a party the mother of the groom is throwing for the couple.  There is no etiquette rule that says who she does or does not invite.  Her party, her choice.  I would stay out of it.