Community Chat

[bjabuceye]

I think with weddings and funerals, you can never satisfy everyone. Who rides in the limo, how many showers, kids at reception; all these things that someone disagrees with. So, the person hosting the event wins, and that person shouldn't even worry about what anyone else thinks. I'm not trying to be mean but people really stress over these things, and life is too short. There are a lot of events I haven't been invited to and I know there must be a reason why. Some I have been invited to and couldn't make it. I was invited to my niece's wedding 700 miles away which was no kids and I explained to my sister that I wanted to come but I had an 8 year old and would have to be bring her since all family would be at the wedding and I wouldn't have a babysitter. My niece was fine with that, my daughter hung out with the flower girls (my nephew's girls) and we all had a great time. If my niece hadn't been okay with it, I would have understood and still would have sent a gift.  Please go and have a great time and celebrate this event with them. 

[bri20]

I wouldn't say anything.  If she's throwing a party, she can invite anyone she wants to.

Someone is always bound to get ticked off - LOL

[MickD]

@Preds - hahaha!  Just order some Pizza Hut throw a keg in the garage and PARTY!!!!  My dude is NOT getting married....never!

[JeanLouiseFinch]

It goes without saying that it's her party so she calls the shots.  However, with that she's automatically making assumptions about other people and their decision to attend or not.  Unless there is definite bad blood between certain people or a legitimate reason where you know someone SHOULDN'T be there, I think I'd invite everyone who is in equal position (aunt, uncle, cousin) and let them all decide for themselves if it was something they wanted to attend or if the distance/expense would prevent them from participating.  By singling certain people out, based only on her assumptions, she could be creating a lot of problems and heartache within the family.  

[SaRina]

@MickD, actually it is a "big wup" (lol) to many in the family as it has caused many hurt feelings.  Iit would have been so simple to invite everyone....we're not talking dozens of people.... but to single out certain individuals in a family that is very close, IMO, was very inconsiderate.  The "out of state people" are no more than 2-3 hours away.  It's not even like it's cross-country.  

@Preds, congrats to you and your DD!  I hope you don't have to cook, lol!  ;-)

[SaRina]

Now the dog is pawing at the door.  Will catch up later.

[Preds]

@SaRina ... So does my family. LOL 

[MickD]

@SaRina - I did not mean that the whole situation is no big deal....sorry.  I meant just invite everybody so as not to offend....have fun and enjoy the moment!  

[ChynnaBlue]

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@SaRina wrote:

My curiosity got the better of me and I stuck around to see what the responses might be.....and also to see if I adequately conveyed the situation (which I didn't).  :-)

We have always been a very close-knit family since I was a child, gathering for holidays at each other's homes, attending parties and other functions....everyone.  This is a definite departure from the past, even the recent past and it is the first time a relative has done such a thing.  My cousin is basically deciding for those who live out of state that they can't make it when, in fact, they can.  They always travel.  As far as the cousin who hasn't attended lately, that was mostly due to illness and some bad luck.

Our family is grumbling about it and some are absolutely livid, feeling hurt and slighted.  We cannot figure out why my cousin has done this.  My feeling is....you send the invitation and let everyone decide for themselves.

Oh, my cousin is quite wealthy.

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If it's your party, you send the invitations to the people you most want to be there.

You want your cousin to allow people to decide if they want to come or not, but you're trying to decide who's close and who isn't for her.

You may perceive your family as very close-knit, but her perception may not be the same. And as the person throwing the party, it's her perception that matters.

My extended family is huge (my grandfather had 17 brothers and sisters) and I have loads of cousins all over the country and beyond. We have huge family reunions, but no one gets upset if they're not invited to weddings, graduations, Thanksgivings, etc, so maybe I just don't get it because we haven't been that way.

But bottom line for me is her party, her choice. I don't feel badly if my friends or extended family members don't include me in every celebration they have. 

[MaggieMack]

I can just see the relatives who live out of state rolling their eyes when they get an invitation to a party, which isn't the wedding, and saying, "Jeepers, another gift grab!" It's only a party, not the wedding! What's the big deal about having a pre-nuptial party anyway? Things have gotten so out of hand. 

When I married my (late) DH, we sent out nvitations for an Elvis in Acapulco party. Those who loved us as friends showed up for an Elvis party and got surprised by a wedding in the barn after dinner. No one knew. It was a gas!