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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,906
Registered: ‎02-01-2015

Re: More about Christmas shopping

True story.

 

4 young children (10yrs-3yrs) parents divorced.    Mothers routine was to allow the children to pick out a Christmas gift for their fathers parents, their grandparents.    So one year what they choose was a bit over the mothers budgeted amount.   She told them that it was over and they should keep looking.    Well, they were so set on this item that they volunteered to add their allowance.  The mother, so touched, relented and allowed them to choose it.   Children clearly thrilled. 

 

Fast forward to the Christmas visit and presenting the present with wide eyes and excitement.   Grandmother opened the gift and stated ‘’oh another dust collector’’

 

The children told their mother when they returned home.  The mother used this a teaching moment.  Explaining that gifts are to be given with no strings and no expectations.  That the giving is actually for the giver, not the receiver.  They learned a valuable lesson that Christmas.  I know as I was one of them.

~~who/what is responsible for your joy? YOU!~~
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,261
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: More about Christmas shopping

@TheMemphisVette I know that lesson.

My sisters and I bought a small Mother's Day gift for our new stepmother when we were all very young. We didn't get allowance so this was our once a year birthday money being used because we thought it was a nice gesture and our mother told us to be respectful towards this new woman.

The new wife refused to even come down and say hello to us when our father picked us up for visitation. He finally embarrassed her enough that we were allowed to go up right before leaving and hand her the small rose charm we had picked out.

She opened it, said a curt thank you and then put it aside. I really think there is a special hot place for people who can't fake five minutes for a child's sincere efforts. It still burns me and frankly it still hurts.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 61,461
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: More about Christmas shopping

@queendiva.  Sounds like your family has a sensible approach to weaning the kids off gifts.  I've got 2 grandsons who I've never seen much and to whom I'm not close (sons of my deceased son).  They've never had much so I've been generous at Christmas and other times.  One is now in college and works.  The other graduated from HS in May and joined the Navy in August so he has a paycheck.  I'm thinking I need to discontinue monetary gifts soon.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Honored Contributor
Posts: 27,363
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: More about Christmas shopping

Our dog never did understand the meaning of Christmas, it was just another day to him and he never bought a single gift for anyone.  I don't understand the angst that so many people have over gifts.  If you don't want to buy nieces and nephews gifts...don't buy them gifts.  I find that as the nieces and nephews get older and older, we see less and less of them so when we get to the point where we haven't seen "Janie" since last Christmas, I know it's time to stop buying her a gift.  If they happen to drop by with their parents , I give the kid $20 in Christmas card but that doesn't really happen.  When my brother and his girlfriend come by for Egg Nog and to see our tree, his 17 year old son and her 14 year old daughter will not accompany them.  We won't see either of those kids until their weddings...lol   Gift giving should be fun and joyful.  I think when it becomes a chore and when you feel resentful rather than happy about it;  it's time to stop.  And that is ok.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: More about Christmas shopping

The older I get ,the more simple I keep things, and we all still have a nice day, and everyone seems to be happy.

 

I think we take all the joy from the holidays .by stewing about things. we have no control over

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,529
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

Re: More about Christmas shopping

I stopped gifting nieces and nephews once they got past high school, sometimes before.  They're all pretty well off financially and any money gift I'd give would barely register with them.  Sad but true.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,412
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: More about Christmas shopping

I shop for my brother and SIL, neice, nephew and his wife and 2 yr.old. They all get money and a small gift. I buy more for my sister and BIL because they help me out alot throughout the year. I think (at least I hope) they all appreciate their gifts. Having to shop for only eight people is quite manageable. 

However, I would never hesitate to stop gifting if anyone of them seemed ungrateful. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 791
Registered: ‎12-28-2011

Re: More about Christmas shopping

@TheMemphisVette  Sorry but that was one Grandma that needed to be run over by a Reindeer Woman Sad

Honored Contributor
Posts: 40,044
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: More about Christmas shopping

I have three great nieces.  One is 3 and the other two are 7.  Since the day they arrived into the world, I have given money gifts.  Money for being born, money for birthdays, money for Christmas and money for religious sacraments.

 

 

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,296
Registered: ‎09-18-2010

Re: More about Christmas shopping


@Laura14 wrote:
@TheMemphisVetteI know that lesson.

My sisters and I bought a small Mother's Day gift for our new stepmother when we were all very young. We didn't get allowance so this was our once a year birthday money being used because we thought it was a nice gesture and our mother told us to be respectful towards this new woman.

The new wife refused to even come down and say hello to us when our father picked us up for visitation. He finally embarrassed her enough that we were allowed to go up right before leaving and hand her the small rose charm we had picked out.

She opened it, said a curt thank you and then put it aside. I really think there is a special hot place for people who can't fake five minutes for a child's sincere efforts. It still burns me and frankly it still hurts.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, @Laura14. The way she treated you was so wrong, this is just so sad. Did she and your dad stay married? None of my biz, but I'm curious. Did she ever come around?