Mom on hospice so depressed - Page 4

Pqfan · ‎03-09-2010

@Beautiful life I am so sorry you and your mom are going through this.

Sending hugs prayers to you both.

Our moms mean so much to us and seeing them this way is heartbreaking.

I know it isn't easy but try to stay strong she needs you now more than ever.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

I truly feel your pain and know how difficult it is to watch your mother decline and waste away before your eyes. At this point, comfort measures are all that can be done for her, and I feel sure Hospice will continue to adjust medication to reach the level needed to help her rest easier. I think it is better to reach that comfort level administering pain meds by IV than thru oral doses, because the med is absorbed much faster, while providing hydration. A feeding tube might be more beneficial than trying to force your mom to eat or drink.

I know you are devastated and struggling mentally and physically, to cope with this end of life stage for your mother. Nothing can fix your mom; hip replacement is a mute point. Please take time to center yourself and get ready for the end.

I think Hospice should be helping your family with the dying process, so your children see this as a natural part of life, without fear. I was 47 when my grandmother passed, and found the comfort I needed in her last days by going to her bedside, holding her hand, and listening to her stories. At that point her mind was reliving her past, so she was young again and telling me as a stranger beautiful stories about her parents, and meeting my Papaw. Those memories are a blessing to me, and absolutely priceless. She told stories she had never told before, and hearing them was almost magical.

We are never ready to let go of our loved ones, but we all have our given time on this earthly journey. As your mom nears the end of her journey, I urge you to start accepting, by saying whatever you need to say, touching her hand often, even crying by her bedside, but helping her reach the peace she needs, to let go and move on to her final reward.

I wish you peace.

3suwm5 · ‎06-15-2016

@Beautiful life I am so very sorry to hear of your Mother's situation.

Prayers go out to her and your entire family.

God bless you all.

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

I am so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately we all lose our parents one way or another, and I am sure it hurts to see her this way. Stay strong for her, take care of yourself, and pile on the love until the end.

Yesterday I went to the funeral of a 30 year old young woman who was friends with my oldest son. She died of cervical cancer that had spread. She and her husband fought the disease so hard until she just couldn't anymore. Her husband wrote a beautiful tribute to her on facebook, and said that he wanted her last thoughts on Earth to be happy ones. So he, and both familiies, were by her side, singing songs and telling wonderful stories of her life. It is such a shame for someone so young and full of life to pass away. There had to be 300+ people at the service.

So be thankful that she lived a long and full life, and that you could be there at the end. Love her, pray with her, and comfort her as much as you can, and you will have no regrets.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

I will just chime in as others have and ask if you can move her to a residential Hospice facility. THere is a cost involved but Medicare will pay part of it and if she has supplemental insurance it will also cover part of the cost. THey are so much more able to care for her in a hospice facility then you can at home.

pitdakota · ‎03-16-2010

@Beautiful life, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. It is so very hard to go through something like this.

Hospice will work to adjust her medications to try and get the best control of your mother's pain and keep her as comfortable as possible. I think you said it was only her second day in Hospice, so hopefully they will be able to do that soon. Be sure to discuss all of your concerns with them, as they will also give you information that can help you make decisions in regard to your Mom's care. You are a valuable member of that team.

Big hugs to you and your mother.

* Freedom has a taste the protected will never know *

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

@violann wrote:
Hugs, bundles of sympathy, and prayer.
I "lost" my mom the night she fell and broke her hip, but she lingered 5 1/2 years before she passed. She was living by herself Saturday, and Sunday night she went to being total care for the rest of her life.
Many of those years were very good for her, but she was never really my mom after the initial fall.
Have you spoken to your hospice contacts about her crying? Unfortunately, emotional extremes are a common symptom in dementia, so it's possible that your mom may be crying without being in pain or sad. My mom had difficult anxiety attacks quite late in her care without being actually anxious- she would become almost frenzied in activity, but not reacting to anything but some kind of random neurological activity.
I lost my dad without any warning, and with time I realized that losing my mom was a 5 1/2 year "goodbye".
If you are doing everything possible to make her feel cherished and comfortable, you are doing your job well, even if she's unable to react to your efforts as you wish she would. Think about that often, it's important. Take extra good care of yourself.

My Mother had that anxiousness too, they said it was called it terminal restlessness. Hospice explained to us that it was quite common. Hers was quite severe, another symptom was delirium.

As others have suggested I would look for a in care hospice center. Nobody wants to put their loved one in a facility but trying to do it at home is exhausting and at times you feel helpless. I didn't have the skill or knowledge to do it 24/7. Also consider their safety, although my Mom was on hospice care, she would randomly get up and wander through the house at all hours.

Don't feel guilty, you just do the best you can.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

I am sorry you are going thru this...I know it is difficult...been there.

Take care of yourself.

KKlim · ‎06-20-2015

Interesting thread to read...I , myself, just went thru this on Wednesday w/my father. He was placed on hospice this week after spending 2 crazy weeks being sick. The siblings not having any other course of action so we agreed w/ the dr to do this. It's been an excruciating and inspirational experience to learn all about the course of death and how my fathers body was hanging in the last day. On Wednesday I sat in his room while he receiving morphine every 4 hours and he died Wednesday nite. When I finish this post, I will be going to dress for his wake. his Catholic funeral that we planned will be tomorrow. @Beautiful life..my prayers to you and your family. Gather the strength for the time ahead and
Take notes w/the excellent knowledge that the hospice nurses will give to you. They are special people. I learned a lot from them and it was helpful while sitting in the final death rally w/ my dad.

KKlim · ‎06-20-2015

Sorry about my grammatical errors. Hands are shaky and typing too fast. I meant to say how my fathers body was changing not hanging in the last 24 hours.