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Super Contributor
Posts: 415
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

My mom is on hospice for dementia, failure to thrive. My mom is 83 and in constant severe pain. She needs a hip replacement but  was told by two doctors she will not survive. She is bedridden and is crying all day. The medication they put her on makes her a zombie and won't eat or drink unless forced. She was on Percocet but didn't take her pain away. My mom is on morphine and a antiscicotic pill. The morphine does help more then the Percocet. I hate to see my mom in bed, crying and helpless. I feel sick to see her this way. The doctor estimated her to live 3-9 months. She's skinny and wasting away. My mom lives with me. If I reposition her or change her she screams. 

 

This is is her second day on hospice. I feel like I already lost my mom. When the hospice nurse came out today she saw my mom crying for the three hours she was there. There trying to adjust her medication. 

 

About 4 months ago my mom was living on her own then had a fall and it went downhill.

I can't believe that she downhill that fast. I'm devestated 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 546
Registered: ‎06-11-2010

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed

So sorry about your mom. You and your mom are in my prayers...Heart

Super Contributor
Posts: 657
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed

I'm so sorry for your hard times.  This may sound really harsh but can your Mom be admitted to a hospice facility?  My Dad went from the hospital to a wonderful hospice.  He was very close to the end. Literally 48 hours.  But there were other patients there who had some time left. 

 

I really do feel for you.  

 

catlvr

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,417
Registered: ‎04-08-2013

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed

@Firestripes ~ I'm so sorry that both your mom and you are going through this.  There is nothing I can write that will take the pain away from either one of you, but please know you both will be in our prayers.  You did the right thing posting here.  There are so many caring, understanding people on this board, many that know exactly what you are going through.  Sometimes it helps to just read responses from people who care.  And we do care.  Please take care of yourself ~ we are here if you need us.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,879
Registered: ‎06-20-2010

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed

I am so very sorry. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,396
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed

That is heartbreaking! I am so sorry. I know that must be so hard.

None of us would want to see our mom like that.

There must be something they can do so she doesn't feel so bad.

I'm praying!

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed


@Firestripes wrote:

My mom is on hospice for dementia, failure to thrive. My mom is 83 and in constant severe pain. She needs a hip replacement but  was told by two doctors she will not survive. She is bedridden and is crying all day. The medication they put her on makes her a zombie and won't eat or drink unless forced. She was on Percocet but didn't take her pain away. My mom is on morphine and a antiscicotic pill. The morphine does help more then the Percocet. I hate to see my mom in bed, crying and helpless. I feel sick to see her this way. The doctor estimated her to live 3-9 months. She's skinny and wasting away. My mom lives with me. If I reposition her or change her she screams. 

 

This is is her second day on hospice. I feel like I already lost my mom. When the hospice nurse came out today she saw my mom crying for the three hours she was there. There trying to adjust her medication. 

 

About 4 months ago my mom was living on her own then had a fall and it went downhill.

I can't believe that she downhill that fast. I'm devestated 


 

So sorry you and your mom are going through this @Firestripes

 

Is your mom in a hospital at present? Hospice usually means care at the very end.  Maybe they are trying to get her medication straightened out.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,096
Registered: ‎04-10-2012

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed

Your story is so heartbreaking. I am so so sorry.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,188
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed

Sending gentle hugs to you both. I've been through it too and it is a hard time. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,249
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Mom on hospice so depressed

@Firestripes- I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's decline.

 

I have to tell you- moving my mother and then my father to hospice were the most difficult, painful things I've done in my life.  EVER.

 

I've been through physical pain before from illnesses that was horrific.  I've had heartache and losses, as have we all, but NOTHING pained me more than moving my parents to hospice.  Nothing.  To me it signaled that the end was near and that life as I knew it was gone.  My little eco-system wasn't going to be the same.  Losing a parent is just so difficult.

 

There's no sugar coating it.  It's just an extremely difficult, sad, gut wrenching thing.  It just is.

 

My mother was in hospice (inpatient) for almost 6 weeks.  My father, just under a day.  One wasn't more horrific than the other.

 

I know you're devastated and I'm just so sorry.  Just try to take each day as it comes.  Stay "within" the day and just handle what needs to be handled.  Get through the day.  Let the hospice people adjust your mom's meds so that they provide maximum comfort to her.  That's what's important.  Ease of passage for her.

 

Again, I'm so sorry.  Feel free to reach out here and to other friends to get you through this.  I'm sending you caring thoughts.


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?