Community Chat

[alicedee]

The hospice organization should provide someone you can talk to, also.....check with them and just tell them you need to talk....I am sure they will have someone help you through this.

My sister just came home from the hospital yesterday with hospice care in place now....I understand how hard it is.  Blessings to you and your Mom.

[violann]

Hugs, bundles of sympathy, and prayer.

I "lost" my mom the night she fell and broke her hip, but she lingered 5 1/2 years before she passed. She was living by herself Saturday, and Sunday night she went to being total care for the rest of her life.

Many of those years were very good for her, but she was never really my mom after the initial fall.

Have you spoken to your hospice contacts about her crying? Unfortunately, emotional extremes are a common symptom in dementia, so it's possible that your mom may be crying without being in pain or sad. My mom had difficult anxiety attacks quite late in her care without being actually anxious- she would become almost frenzied in activity, but not reacting to anything but some kind of random neurological activity.

I lost my dad without any warning, and with time I realized that losing my mom was a 5 1/2 year "goodbye".

If you are doing everything possible to make her feel cherished and comfortable, you are doing your job well, even if she's unable to react to your efforts as you wish she would. Think about that often, it's important. Take extra good care of yourself. 

[brandiwine]

I'm so sorry both of you are going through this.  I have to agree that if you can have your mom moved to a special hospice facility it could be a great help to you and her.  I just went through this with a dear friend and the facility was so much better for her.  They were able to help her with her pain on a 24/7 basis.  You also need to take care of yourself and give yourself a break.  As much as you love her and want to control the situation, you can't.  I hope once your mom is gone you will be able to replace these horrible days to days with wonderful memories of how she was.  God bless.

[vermint]

@Beautiful life I'm so very sorry that you and your mom are going through this. Hopefully hospice will be able to get her pain under control.

I don't know why, but a fall (whether or not a bone is broken) seems to signal the beginning of the end. I know it did for my mom...she had not been "well" for about 35 years, but she was mostly functional. Then she fell and shattered her ankle. It did heal, but she was never the same. She had a brief "good" period about 4 months after the fall, but spiraled downhill rapidly after that. Eight months after the fall, she died in her sleep while waiting for a nursing home bed to become available. She was 76, and just tired and ready to go.

Sending prayers for strength for you, and pain relief for your mom.

[SandPiper]

I am heartbroken reading your post. I know from experience how difficult and draining this is for you.  Hospice is a wonderful organization and will do everything to make your mom comfortable. Both you and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers. ((((hugs))))

[Firefly3]

I am so very sorry for your pain!

May you both find  peace!

[Cakers3]

@Beautiful life  Such a sad time for all-sending {{{hugs}}} and a prayer for comforting light to surround you all.

Take care.

[Lucky Charm]

I hope more than anything, they can get the pain under control. 

I think the zombie state would be easier to for me to handle, than someone screaming if I had to move them.  That would kill me.  Seriously.

As mentioned above, maybe she should be in a hospice facility.  It's too much for all this to be happening in your home.  She's not more comfortable there, I don't think.  Not your fault at all!  Just the way things have happened, unfortunately.

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and so sorry your dear mother is suffering like this.

[meallen616]

[Katcat1]

@Beautiful life,    I hate to hear that your mother is suffering.  Hospice is suppose to make the patient as comfortable as possible.  I would definitely talk to whoever is in charge so her medication can be changed.  My mother had hospice and she was taken off all her regular medicine and whatever they gave my mother knocked her out and she slept for 5 days until she passed away.  My mother had Mersa.  Please talk to someone because your mother should NOT suffer.