Community Chat

[Porcelain]

I think the principal would be within their rights to say that, whenever possible, particularly the first time you're asked, do your best to be polite when turning someone down.

I'd be fine with it if a boy or girl were docked a point somewhere if they responded to an invitation with, "Ugh! No way! You're disgusting!"

Teaching civility (and empathy) is wonderful and important. Teaching kids to respect their own and others' boundaries more fundamental though.

[SuhseK]

Is it just me?  

I would be infinitely more humiliated, if, I asked someone to dance, they said, "no thank you", the principal then intervened and told that person, they had to dance with me! 
IMO, how horribly awkward, for both people!

If the principal, felt he needed to remind the girl, of the school policy, wouldn't it have been better, to quietly take her aside, away from the boy's hearing! Of course, that wouldn't solve the issue. 

Yes, I feel that if someone is asked to dance, girl or guy, they absolutely have the right to say no. 

As for slow dancing, especially, in a State, as traditionally conservative, as Utah, I'm guessing those dances, are very well supervised, and inappropriate "touching", isn't permitted. 

[Charlottesmom]

no child, any gender, should be required to have close contact (slow dance) with any other child. Their personal space belongs to no one else.

[jubilant]

This policy of the school  shows a lack of imagination and  also a serious lack of understanding of middle school kids.  They are still quite immature at this age and their emotions are still quite fragile. There are obvious alternatives (some of which have already been mentioned) and the dance could have been just as fun. 

Of course these kids have the right to say no (whether it be boy or girl. Why, in heaven's name, put a young teen in a situation like this before most of them are ready for it???  I remember "Jr. High" kids as being quite emotional.  These school officials, imo, sure lacked  insight into what this age group is all about. 

[mspatmac]

Whether or not dances should be held in middle school is not the issue, there held and not going away.  What needs to go away is a young girl OR boy not having the right NOT to be touched and slow dance if they don't want to.  I agree with posters that said boys and girls both need to be prepared for rejection and prepare them for it.  There all heading toward some rough times in HS with lots of pressures so a solid foundation of saying NO is important.  

Kindergarden kids are taught to tell someone if someone touches them and now some principle tells a young girl she has to be touched and slow dabce, absolutely no.  

[NicksmomESQ]

 That's just plain nuts!! Children have to learn to protect their space.Life is also about dealing with disappointment & rejection. 
  If the school is that concerned then they should not have a dance.It's wrong to take a child's power away from him or her.

[Nataliesgramma]

Why no just eliminate the slow dances.....

[Sooner]

Why are they slow dancing at a middle school dance?  And why is anyone forced to dance with anyone?  

Why isn't it a light, fun time appropriate for kids this age?  Sounds like something that needs some modification all around.  

[stevieb]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

This is a school setting where students don't get to choose lab partners, wrestling opponents, team members... If a student chooses to be in a play, they don't get choose who plays opposite. This student had a choice to opt out of the dance just as she could have opted out of a school play.

Curious that no one complained about the boys having to dance with any/all girls who asked them. Do women want equal rights or special rights.

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A valid question @occasionalrain. Though it seems virtually everything these days is skewed toward raising 'strong women', one would assume that boys are not allowed to turn down girls asking them to dance either. The whole concept of making sure everyone is 'included' has gone too far as it's been defined here. By teaching children at the middle school level to expect to 'ask and ye shall receive' in no way prepares them for life as an adult nor does it promote their development of the frustration tolerance they'll need in the real world, where one doesn't always get what they want merely by asking.

[stevieb]

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@Porcelain wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

This is a school setting where students don't get to choose lab partners, wrestling opponents, team members... If a student chooses to be in a play, they don't get choose who plays opposite. This student had a choice to opt out of the dance just as she could have opted out of a school play.

Curious that no one complained about the boys having to dance with any/all girls who asked them. Do women want equal rights or special rights.

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Are you not a woman?

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Irrelevant. Equality dosn't mean equality just when it's easy nor does it mean that it's all right to expect exceptions to the rule when they're more to our liking. The school's rule is wrong and artificial and should be done away with. Everyone, boy or girl, should have the right to kindly say they'd prefer not to dance. Instead of this ridiculous excuse for 'inclusion' maybe this principal should suggest that teachers instruct children about appropriate ways to say 'no thank you'.