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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Where you stand on this is probably down to your own experiences. I am firmly on the fence with this one

 

I have been married for over 50 years and my son has never been married. We all have happy lives

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,788
Registered: ‎06-10-2010


@Melania wrote:

@jubilant wrote:

@truffle wrote:

@Lucky Charm wrote:

Well if it was researched thoroughly, had lots of subjects studied and not just a few hundred and taken over a period of time and in all demographics, it would be hard to disprove.

 

I can actually believe it.

 

I know/knew this wouldn't go over well here, though....


I agree with everything you said especially your last sentence. 


********  I agree with you both.  In the first place, OP admits that she had "just read" this and it was a simple "do you agree or disagree" question.  It made me think and I like that!    


But it should acknowledged by the OP that this "study" was skewed by a pro-marriage site.

Which makes it a whole other animal.


****** Please tell me, what isn't skewed these days? 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Odd.

This Washington Post article was dated April, 2015.

And we 'just' read it.

Hummmm.

 

The 'recent report' the article referenced is, as expected,

very pro-religion & favors heterosexual marriage.   

But the favorite part of this report which tickled me

was the summation.   Mentioned was a need for "success sequence"

which life was richer & happier if you live life "in that order".

This whole article & 'study' has a cult-like feel to it.

 

IMG_1202.jpg

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,224
Registered: ‎11-08-2014

sidsmom, I'd not ever heard that particular sequence of life events referred to as "the success sequence", (good name!) but I've heard other social scientists say essentially the same thing:

 

If you first complete education, then get a job, then get married, then have children, in that order, the chances of success and avoiding poverty are much improved.

 

Again, it appears to be common sense, I believe, to any fair minded observer.  Of course, there are always going to be exceptions--thank goodness!  But they are talking about a sequence, that if followed, has the most chance of providing benefits.

 

By the way, the Brookings Institution, is a venerable think tank, the oldest in the United States.  It has been generally thought of as liberal and establishment in perspective, but produces social science with a variety of views.  According to your link, the people who coined "the success sequence" are Brookings researchers.

 

I'm genuinely not sure why some feel that being pro-marriage is somehow suspect?

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,832
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@DiAnne wrote:

Marriage is a wonderful deal for men...


I agree.

 

Is it true that the woman winds up doing most of the work in the marriage?

 

They work full time in most cases, cook, clean,do laundry, grocery shop,other shopping for the family, pay the household bills, take care of the kids and "wifely duties".

 

Too much trouble!Smiley Very Happy

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,069
Registered: ‎05-27-2016

Re: Men Should Get Married!

[ Edited ]

@Silver Lining, there are more senior women than there are senior men, because women are the most populous around the world.  There are more of us women, just because it is.....LOL.

*Call Tyrone*
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,069
Registered: ‎05-27-2016

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

@noodleann wrote:

People Should Read More Critically!

 .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kids thrive in a loving enviroment, whether that is with a man/woman, two men, or two women, or a single parent.


I fully agree with this.  Period.

*Call Tyrone*
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,069
Registered: ‎05-27-2016

Re: Men Should Get Married!

[ Edited ]

@Oznell wrote:

sidsmom, I'd not ever heard that particular sequence of life events referred to as "the success sequence", (good name!) but I've heard other social scientists say essentially the same thing:

 

If you first complete education, then get a job, then get married, then have children, in that order, the chances of success and avoiding poverty are much improved.   .

 

Again, it appears to be common sense, I believe, to any fair minded observer.  Of course, there are always going to be exceptions--thank goodness!  But they are talking about a sequence, that if followed, has the most chance of providing benefits.

 

By the way, the Brookings Institution, is a venerable think tank, the oldest in the United States.  It has been generally thought of as liberal and establishment in perspective, but produces social science with a variety of views.  According to your link, the people who coined "the success sequence" are Brookings researchers.

 

I'm genuinely not sure why some feel that being pro-marriage is somehow suspect?


 

I must say this is another one that smacks of a study with an agenda.  Successful marriages have absolutely nothing to do with education and then having children.  In the real world (not idealistically) marriages face real challenges.  When two people are committed to one another they are willing to meet one another half way and compromise.  One doesn't need education to do this.  I would assume you'd do it out of love for your spouse.

 

Children that are born in marriage do better in homes where both parents are stable, while they, themselves came from nurturing backgrounds and are fully grounded in them.  That's common sense.  These acts of educating+marrying+children mean nothing without basic tenets in the relationship.  As it is too many people marry and stay married for all the wrong reasons.

 

I'm not against marriage.  I have two wonderful children as a result.  I'm a realist.  In today's world most people would do better without marrying because they don't take it seriously and/or they had no business getting married to begin with.

*Call Tyrone*
Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,658
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Years of Romance

Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office.

 

A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.

 

As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.
When he saw me, he shouted, “Are those potato chips?”

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 39,574
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

@noodleann wrote:

People Should Read More Critically!

 

The author of the article is one W. Bradford Wilcox, who "directs the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and serves as a visiting scholar at the American Enterprise Institute and a senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies."

 

From the NMP site:

"The National Marriage Project (NMP) is a nonpartisan, nonsectarian, and interdisciplinary initiative located at the University of Virginia. The Project's mission is to provide research and analysis on the health of marriage in America, to analyze the social and cultural forces shaping contemporary marriage, and to identify strategies to increase marital quality and stability."

 

This is a pro-marriage piece written by the director of a pro-marriage group. I'd take the whole thing with a major grain of salt.


 

@noodleann     @Oznell

 

Noodle, thanks for providing the rest of the story!    

 

Marriage isn't for everyone.   IMO, Too many get subtley coerced into marriage because friends or family apply pressure. "Of course you want to get married and have children ... your friends are all getting married ......  blah blah blah ...."  

 

Not all women should be married, either.   

 

I find it interesting how many widows might say what nice guys their husbands were, but they have no interest in doing THAT again, perish the thought, lol.     

 

Yes, there are plenty of happy marriages, but also a lot where the people just don't have the courage to leave, so they stay and pretend to be happy while dying of boredom.    IMO, Staying in an unhappy marriage is like doing hard time at Leavenworth prison.  

 

(JMO ... I've never been to Leavenworth prison, lol)