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04-09-2017 07:45 PM
@blackhole99 wrote:I think men should get married if they are suited for it. I read somewhere where married men who are in happy marriages live longer. As far as working harder, being smarter, etc. If you want to be successful and provide for your family those are good qualities to possess. I know men who are happier single and do not want the stress of supporting a family.
@blackhole99, all that work and making money makes for unhappy marriages as well. This is particularily true of certain professions like performing artists; politicians; lawyers; police officers and more. Many women won't get the attention they want (aside from the fat salary and lavish lifestyle and that's another can of worms).
04-09-2017 07:50 PM
I bet we can all think, anecdotally, of married men for whom marriage hasn't had a salutary effect. We all know of some real doozies, no doubt! But I tend to think the preponderance of evidence, on a societal level, shows that marriage, overall, helps men.
Even just looking at it as a common sense thing, let's think of this: The presence of testosterone in men, which can be a good thing, can also lead to greater aggression. If not properly channeled, that can be destructive, in the form of fights, violence, etc. Young men especially, can be vulnerable to antisocial behavior.
Marriage, in general, tends to give purpose and motivation to do better for oneself and one's family. Aggression can be channeled more appropriately, in working toward better jobs, etc. Children need stabilty.
And having a female "constant" in a young man's life, a confidante and emotional support, who is also invested in the marriage and possibly raising children in a good environment, is also stabilizing, no?
Again, from a general, societal point of view--- or is that still invalid for you?
04-09-2017 07:53 PM
Marriage is better for people and families. Don't need a study to see that. To be really married in the traditional sense takes a commitment to the ones you love, and the backbone to not always put yourself first.
Kids thrive living with a committed father and mother who love them and foster a home environment where all people want the best for one another.
The safety and security of a good marriage, between good people, is highly underrated these days and what a shame that is.
It isn't about politics. It is about how kids need to grow up safe and loved.
Feel free to disagree, throw out bad examples, dis men, etc. etc. etc. I am sure some will be outraged to hear this. Have after it. It's my opinion only.
04-09-2017 07:59 PM
@Oznell wrote:I bet we can all think, anecdotally, of married men for whom marriage hasn't had a salutary effect. We all know of some real doozies, no doubt! But I tend to think the preponderance of evidence, on a societal level, shows that marriage, overall, helps men.
Even just looking at it as a common sense thing, let's think of this: The presence of testosterone in men, which can be a good thing, can also lead to greater aggression. If not properly channeled, that can be destructive, in the form of fights, violence, etc. Young men especially, can be vulnerable to antisocial behavior.
Marriage, in general, tends to give purpose and motivation to do better for oneself and one's family. Aggression can be channeled more appropriately, in working toward better jobs, etc. Children need stabilty.
And having a female "constant" in a young man's life, a confidante and emotional support, who is also invested in the marriage and possibly raising children in a good environment, is also stabilizing, no?
Again, from a general, societal point of view--- or is that still invalid for you?
This may or may not have been true during post war eras. Today's marriages are not the same. We must not forget that these very same men are taken from the same society that was studied. So, in essence it's saying that the available men who choose to marry will no longer have a propensity toward violence because they chose to marry, thereby lessing their chances of being derilict to society. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
Finally, co-habiation (coupling) has a larger percentage of the US society than married couples have.
04-09-2017 08:05 PM
@makena wrote:I pay no attention to studies, polls, research, etc. It's all subjective and bunk.
Just curious. Is there a qualifier for that statement?
04-09-2017 08:05 PM - edited 04-09-2017 08:06 PM
@Sooner wrote:Marriage is better for people and families. Don't need a study to see that. To be really married in the traditional sense takes a commitment to the ones you love, and the backbone to not always put yourself first.
Kids thrive living with a committed father and mother who love them and foster a home environment where all people want the best for one another.
The safety and security of a good marriage, between good people, is highly underrated these days and what a shame that is.
It isn't about politics. It is about how kids need to grow up safe and loved.
Feel free to disagree, throw out bad examples, dis men, etc. etc. etc. I am sure some will be outraged to hear this. Have after it. It's my opinion only.
Some key words to consider from the above "committed" traditional.
These two terms are not prevalent and/or all encompassing as it relates to marriage or relationships in American society today. Also consider the fact that those marriages of earlier times were wrought with strife as well. We just didn't know about them.
Marriage can be good for many. It's just not the same as it once was. Different expectations, two bread winners and so on.....
04-09-2017 08:39 PM
That's a tough one. I think I'm leaning toward agreeing with it. Married men I think would have more incentive to work harder due to having children to support. It seems to me they would have more to lose if they didn't. I think a family would give them more of a reason to better themselves in a job to make more money and plan a little smarter....more to think about than just themselves would be a good incentive.
04-09-2017 08:47 PM
Oh, it must be hogwash.
It is better for society to just live together. No need for parents to be married. That's just old fashioned, "Leave it to Beaver" kind of thinking.
Being a single mother is all the rage. Doing all that hard work yourself is great for you and the children. Who needs fathers anyway?
And if you are married, get divorced. It's better for the kids than unhappy people staying together. Stability is overrated.
It's better that more children are born out of wedlock. You can just get new boyfriends and girlfriends if you get sick of each other. And save money without all those lawyers.
Yep, no one should get married. It's just a ball and chain for society. Especially for the modern woman.
Hyacinth
04-09-2017 09:05 PM
@hyacinth003 wrote:
And if you are married, get divorced. It's better for the kids than unhappy people staying together. Stability is overrated.
I grew up with two parents who stayed together and fought with each other constantly. I can assure you that they brought no stability to my life.
04-09-2017 09:09 PM
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