Married 32 years. In love with another man.... - Page 5

MaggieMack · ‎10-01-2014

@kittymoxy, "Crazy in love" with the other speaks not of love to me but of infatuation, which can be crazily delicious, but not love. Many people fall out of the insanely wonderful kind of initial love, but finds that it transforms into an even more beautiful, unexpected love through time. Even though you are not "in love" with your husband, you do say you love him. If that is true, please find another counselor to help you work through this. If he, on the other hand, repulses you with his simple touch, all might be done. Just bear in mind that the man waiting in the wings will likely repulse you in time, too.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - Aesop

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@kittymoxy wrote:
I truly appreciate all of your feedback. I did go to a very competent psychologist for years who was def of the pro stay married line of thinking. It is really surprising to me that most of you all seem to be of the mind that I should essentially stay in a loveless marriage. Yes I do love my husband but I'm not in love with him. Yeah, that "old story". And I am CRAZY in love with the other man. I'm sorry but that is the truth.

So if it was a loveless marriage then why did it take you 32 years to seriously consider leaving him? Why now?

AnikaBrodie · ‎03-10-2010

@kittymoxy

Post again in six months and let us know how this story turned out. I'm sure it will not be the future you envisioned! JMO based on your posts.

"Faith, Hope, Love; the greatest of these is Love." ~The Silver Fox~

MsLomo · ‎03-09-2010

That's a long time to "pine." There's something missing in your marriage that this other person has (or you think he has). Both you and your husband deserve a spouse who is onboard 100 percent. You obviously have not been "all there" for your husband for the last 28 years, and he probably has felt it. After he gets over his shock and grief and returns to his right mind and gets his self-esteem back, he'll realize that you did him a favor. If I discovered that my husband was pining for someone else for one year or 28, I'd help him pack. Your children are grown; they'll handle it. Good luck, and I hope you find what you're missing.

Alsee · ‎03-15-2010

Life is short. Your children are grown. At some point in life you must do what's best for you. We can never be sure of anything so follow your heart and instinct.

Best of luck with your decision and be happy.

kittymoxy · ‎05-09-2010

Wow!!!! To the poster who said my husband would be better off if I leave- I TOTALLY AGREE. My point exactly.
Also, my father is the one who told me to "get rid of the bum" all those years ago. I basically know what I want to do but I'm just afraid. I haven't worked in 30 years

Dell1 · ‎03-09-2010

@kittymoxy, It appears very appealing before you are in the thick of a divorce. And you do need to consider that even though your children are grown their feelings about both of their parents will change. If they agree with your choice, or disagree, life will never be the same with them again.

cody2 · ‎03-19-2010

@kittymoxy wrote:
"Selfish, self-centered and cruel". Isn't it more self-centered, selfish and cruel to be living a lie?!?! I HAVE stayed with my husband all these years for reasons like: fear of the grass isn't greener on the other side, wanting an intact family, etc. but I feel like it's a big lie and I just can't do it any more. I'm 57 years old and I have one life to live. It's a very scary thought changing my whole life.

I say GO FOR it! But be prepared to pay the consequences of your folly. That might mean the last of your relationship with your children, your friends and the loss of what your family has meant to you for all those years. And when the "new" doesn't work out for you be prepared to spend the rest of your life alone pondering about the REAL one that got away. You know...the one that wan't quite as green as you wanted him to be. You asked a question and you should be prepared for the honest answers. So I say...go for "it".

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@kittymoxy

Sounds like you are bored and looking for excitement that you think/hope can be found in an old boyfriend. I think you are dissatisfied and unhappy with yourself, and an old boyfriend isn't going to fix that problem.

I suggest thinking about a back up plan when you leave your husband for the boyfriend and realize he's not as interesting as you thought, boyfriend realizes he doesn't want a woman who walked away so easily from her family, and the husband you pushed aside doesn't want you back in his life either.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@kittymoxy wrote:
Wow!!!! To the poster who said my husband would be better off if I leave- I TOTALLY AGREE. My point exactly.
Also, my father is the one who told me to "get rid of the bum" all those years ago. I basically know what I want to do but I'm just afraid. I haven't worked in 30 years

Get a good divorce attorney. You will get alimony. Your husband will have to pay for your attorney. Not sure if you have a prenup.