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05-08-2016 10:33 PM
Instinct tells me no. My own experience tells me no.
05-08-2016 10:37 PM
I'm thinking if you do this, you will hurt your family terribly, disgust your children, betray your husband's trust and break your vow. You will most likely suffer financially. You cheapen yourself by this. A year or two from now the "excitement" of the romance will have worn off, and you will be sorry.
I have unfortunately seen this type of thing and it did not work out well for the wife. The hubby left behind however, was soon comforted and remarried and a younger woman. Wife was left after a year by boyfriend and was much worse off financially.
You said you have a good husband. Appreciate that. So very many do not.
Yep, life is short, don't wreck it.
That is my opinion.
05-08-2016 10:37 PM
I think you need to seek counseling again. Not all therapists are created equal. Just on the surface, there are lot of questions. I don't even know the details.
Remember Gone with the Wind? She chased Ashley Wilkes for years, only to find that he wasn't really that great.
Love, when you find it, is a wonderful thing. Before you go down that road, you have serious questions to ask yourself. About yourself and your relationships. And why you aren't happy where you're at.
And those are best explored with a competent therapist. And you have to be able to face the questions, the answers, etc.
05-08-2016 10:39 PM
05-08-2016 10:41 PM
What will you gain and what will you lose by breaking up a 32 year marriage? I suggest you make a Win and Lose list. You'll soon see if you're honest with yourself that you will lose a lot more ("wonderful man, wonderful children," etc.) than you win.
I am saddened by your post. Marriage counseling may be beneficial for you. It's possible that your high school boy friend is much different than you remember him. The "grass is usually not greener on the other side of the fence."
05-08-2016 10:41 PM
@Trinity11 wrote:
@kittymoxy wrote:
Ladies, help!! I've been married for 32 years to a wonderful man and I've been pining for my high school boyfriend for the last 28 years. Have 2 wonderful grown children. I'm thinking life is short, I want a divorce but it tears me apart the thought of breaking up my family. My husband will be devastated!! I'm tormented and would love to hear some opinions.Illusions are dangerous people..... They have no flaws.
Very well said !!!! You can never go back !!!!
05-08-2016 10:42 PM - edited 05-08-2016 10:43 PM
@kittymoxy wrote:
Shortly after high school. For all the wrong reasons-$$$.
So he didn't make or have enough money and that's why you dumped him? It sounds a lot like "The Great Gatsby" and you're Daisy Buchanan.
05-08-2016 10:42 PM
Think long and hard before you do this. There would be no turning back and your family would no doubt suffer. I guess I personally cannot understand this. About to celebrate 50 years with my best friend.
05-08-2016 10:42 PM
you are making excuses so we give you permission to do this awful thing to your family. i don't think that's going to happen here.
05-08-2016 10:44 PM
@kittymoxy wrote:
Yes. I do speak to him. He is single. He is very leery of getting hurt by me again. And to the poster who said I need counseling... Been there, done that. Didn't help.
If the two of you are at this point in discussions, I'd say the damage has probably already been done.
Do you actually want to salvage your marriage? If you really want to give it an honest try, youneed to tell the "other man" that you can't see each other or speak to each other anymore. That it is true, he will probably get hurt and its best he start looking elsewhere. You didn't give enough detail about how far along things are with this man you've been "pining" for so its hard to know if you've cheated on your husband already.
That is a long time to pine for someone. Did you ever love your husband? At any point? Does your husband love you? I'm not looking for answers, these are things that I would take into consideration personally. If my husband was a jerk and we didn't get along I can't say I'd stay with him unconditionally, but 32 years is a long time to figure that out. You have probably had great times together but you are feeling a little bored. Guess what - every marriage has its ups and downs but you just ride through those downs knowing there will be an "up" again.
I'm still trying to understand what you mean by pining for 28 years. You were having babies with your husband and wishing you were with someone else? Or is his an exaggeration? I have high school and college sweethearts and the thought of them makes me smile but I don't call that "pining" for 30 years.
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