Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

@kittymoxy wrote:
Someone said if I remarry the alimony ceases. Generally speaking that's true. But he could agree for that not to be the case. Would he do that? Maybe as a trade-off for something else. I know for a fact he thinks I would be entitled to half. I have talked divorce in the past. A few times. But he has said I'd be crazy to do it. So I haven't been entirely deceptive. He knows I'm unhappily married. He just doesn't know why. And prefers to think, even after I've talked divorce, that "everything's fine". That's the only way he can function

Oh my gosh, no wonder he treats you with disdain.....

What a horrible thing to be continuously doing to him.

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

milliegrace · ‎02-21-2014

Okay, I skipped to the 35th page cause there was no way I was going to read through all of that. IMO this story is made up just to get it to run like wild fire. It seems like every time there is a crazy story the OP has very few previous posts. That should send up a red flag that it is fiction.

This story is definitely something you would read about in a crazy romance novel, which is probably where it should stay.

~ It's a good day when I didn't have to unleash the flying monkeys! ~

CaneCorsoMom · ‎09-03-2011

That type of relationship never ends well - you say your husband is a good man and you have a life together - stay with him. The other man is just a fantasy - you havent lived with him and seen all his bad qualities - You will end up old and alone with children who resent you. The grass is never greener

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@kittymoxy wrote:
ok, couple of things:
This is NOT a bogus story
I appreciate all comments equally
I'm wondering how these next facts will go down: in high school, I was the cheerleader, homecoming rep type and he was the golden boy athlete. Fast forward to now I have doubled my size (think Melissa McCarthy) and he is still gorgeous. He's seen me many times and while I'm guessing he would prefer me smaller seems to accept that I'm not. And yes I'm positive that he is "attracted" to me. I have many times thought of putting my story out here on these boards (I read them everyday myself) but haven't done it because I'm technically inept and couldn't figure out how to couldn't remember my password, etc. I have posted several times but they keep every so often keep changing the format which always throws me for a loop. Just wondering how the "I've doubled my size" is going to affect your comments. Im sure the bigger girls out there will understand why I'm curious about this.

I don't see how any of this relates at all to the question at hand.

What difference does it make if you were a cheerleader and he was a big shot athlete? And how is anyone's current looks or weight relevant now?

This all sounds very superficial and shallow to me. You really do sound much younger and far more inexperienced (at life) than you claim to be.

Wayne-QVC · ‎06-14-2015

Moved:

This post has been removed by QVC because it can be deemed offensive.

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

@NYC Susan wrote:
@kittymoxy wrote:
ok, couple of things:
This is NOT a bogus story
I appreciate all comments equally
I'm wondering how these next facts will go down: in high school, I was the cheerleader, homecoming rep type and he was the golden boy athlete. Fast forward to now I have doubled my size (think Melissa McCarthy) and he is still gorgeous. He's seen me many times and while I'm guessing he would prefer me smaller seems to accept that I'm not. And yes I'm positive that he is "attracted" to me. I have many times thought of putting my story out here on these boards (I read them everyday myself) but haven't done it because I'm technically inept and couldn't figure out how to couldn't remember my password, etc. I have posted several times but they keep every so often keep changing the format which always throws me for a loop. Just wondering how the "I've doubled my size" is going to affect your comments. Im sure the bigger girls out there will understand why I'm curious about this.

I don't see how any of this relates at all to the question at hand.

What difference does it make if you were a cheerleader and he was a big shot athlete? And how is anyone's current looks or weight relevant now?

This all sounds very superficial and shallow to me. You really do sound much younger and far more inexperienced (at life) than you claim to be.

Actually, this could be very relevant. The OP has said she is overweight now. Perhaps her unhappiness with her weight is causing her to be unhappy with her life. Perhaps a solution not considered yet would be for her to enroll in Weight Watchers. Once she loses the weight, then perhaps she will feel better about herself and her current situation, and count her blessings.

I mean this in all sincerity. Really, I do. :-)

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@missy1 wrote:
@Mrsq2022 wrote:
@kittymoxy wrote:
He has had 2 brief marriages. I would support myself with alimony until husband retires. We also have a very sizable retirement which I'd get half of. And to whoever called it HIS money- I don't think so!!!! I have never looked at it that way and neither does the state of ---!!! I raised 2 wonderful human beings who have never been in trouble with anybody, I have fed this family(and fed them well!) and I have made sure my husband and family goes to work and school with perfectly laundered clothes and everything else they need. I feel I have earned my keep!
At 57, I would hope that you would have the dignity not to take alimony so that you can leave your husband for another man. Trust me, your children will despise you, as will everyone that knows you. I don't even know you and this paragraph has shown me who you are...and I don't like it.

I disagree with this. She is entiled to alimony , and she will get it.
Do not remarry the HS sweetheart or you could lose it. You would still get 1/2 his pensions, savings. 1/2 the equity in the house, etc, if you remarrry. I am siding with the op on this issue. If you are not happy, leave. Why should she stay miserable to please her children etc?

No, it is not a given that she will receive alimony. As several of us have posted, there is no guarantee, especially under these circumstances.

I agree that she shouldn't stay in her marriage if she's not happy. But after all these years, she owes it to her husband (and to herself) to try to work things out by putting in real effort at marital therapy and giving it some time.

If the marriage is truly over, then she probably should end it. But she should end it because the marriage is over. Not because she thinks Prince Charming will whisk her away and make her life better. It's pretty clear that this is all about the HS guy, and not so much about a bad marriage. If he hadn't come along, I doubt she'd be talking about leaving her husband.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@missy1 wrote:
@ th thMsshopper wrote:
@kittymoxy wrote:
I see him occasionally. Yes. I have talked all of this over with him. Our feelings are mutual HOWEVER he does say that he doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up a family. We have both tried to do what most of you think we should do(nothing) but then,after awhile, we cannot stay away from each other. So, here we are.
Well, in most (all?) states adultery during marriage = no alimony. So you are probably out of luck there unless you plan to lie about it. In some states, adultery even results in you getting less than your half of the community property. So if I were you, I'd leave my husband but with DIGNITY and not try to squeeze every dollar out of him that you seem to have your eye on. You aren't going to look attractive to the courts, your family or friends if you pursue this in the way that you are planning.

You should certainly move out at this point, but I sure hope that you can sort yourself out. I wouldn't wish your situation on anyone, and it's bound to have a bad ending.

Very few states, if any do not care what the "cause" of the divorce is.

"No fault divorce"

There definitely could be legal ramifications if she does what she's considering. She could have a tough battle (and a lot of embarrasment) ahead of her.