Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

kittymoxy · ‎05-09-2010

Ms X- my counselor basically said I chose my husband over the other man (which I did) and that I should focus on the whys of that and try to get back to that frame of mind.

Lila Belle · ‎01-24-2013

Are you still in contact with this other man?

kittymoxy · ‎05-09-2010

Missy1- my husband never really was interested in intimacy(in any form) basically from the get go. I remember him telling me decades ago that he has a "low libido".

nun ya · ‎03-09-2010

I also think if you want to leave your husband, don't go running to another man. Obviously, there are things you need to get straight with yourself before starting another relationship. Another man is not going to fix everything.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@ladyroxanne wrote:
don't take offense. i think you are being selfish by only thinking of your feelings. other people are depending on you.

Well said....AMEN.

KentuckyWoman · ‎03-13-2010

@kittymoxy wrote:
To Kathpet: I would want to be the one to move out. Also, I have been to an atty for a consultation and she said I would not be expected to get a job.

You may be in for a rude awakening. You are assuming your husband is going to roll over and play dead? Might be interesting to know what HIS attorney thinks if it ever gets that far.

MaggieMack · ‎10-01-2014

I don't know about the rest of you, but this tale seems to be getting curiouser and curiouser.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - Aesop

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@KentuckyWoman wrote:
@kittymoxy wrote:
To Kathpet: I would want to be the one to move out. Also, I have been to an atty for a consultation and she said I would not be expected to get a job.
You may be in for a rude awakening. You are assuming your husband is going to roll over and play dead? Might be interesting to know what HIS attorney thinks if it ever gets that far.

Op being age 57, it would be difficult (with no work history) .

CouponQueen · ‎10-21-2010

Where to begin lol..

First of all..does the old BF even know you are looking to end your marriage for him and want to spend the rest of your life with him??

I think in your head you have this huge "happily ever after" and I am having a hard time seeing the BF following along in those plans.

Are you prepared to leave everything you have know for a life of uncertainty? I said that because I haven't read that the BF is offering you a happliy ever after with a wedding ring and all.. Plus he had two brief marriages.. I am wondering if he is just playing head games with you..most men if they were madly in love with their high school BF who had doubled her weight..would be a bit more aggressive on the intimate side..

I can't see the kids taking Momma's side when she breaks daddy's heart, takes half of what he owns ..so she can be with the man who she has been pining for the last 27 years or whatever..

Is he financially stable now?

I honestly think that the old saying about that pesky grass is true.. I can't see the BF running off to the alter of his high school GF who has doubled in size and just took her husband to the cleaners for half of everything "because she is entitled to it.."

Those great kids are going to side with Daddy..and any future grandkids too.. I think women conjure up all these romantic fantisies of what could of been..or the high-school BF..and that is what they are fantisies..real life smacks you in the face and reality too.

I get that you are not in love with your husband..sounds like he is a decent man. As for not sharing a side of him like his Ph.D..there must be a reason..maybe he 'deep down' feels like you are not in his corner and he feels your lack of love.

I cannot imagine telling my husband of 32-years..that I am history ..half of our finances are going with me..and you are pining for a old BF too..

I honestly think that while you may have all these pining feelings about the old BF..his feelings may not be the same. Being attracted to somebody and pining for them for years and wanting them to leave a stable marriage ...and when all is said and finished..he is going to make an honest woman out of you?? I am not feeling that from these posts..Yes, on your part there is ..

good luck for sure.

kittymoxy · ‎05-09-2010

Lila Belle- yes. I spoke to him last week. I haven't seen him since January. I DO NOT want to have just an affair with him. I want to share our lives for the rest of our life. I want to grow old with him. All of these posts, however, have certainly got me thinking. I'm not worried about leaving my lifestyle or my husband. But I am worried about my relationship with my children changing forever!!! I would hope they want their mother to be happy. As far as my husband goes, I couldn't agree more that he would be better off without me.