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05-09-2016 03:11 AM
Gabstoomuch has the best post yet. If you are not happy then leave. However I would not be telling your husband about the old boyfriend as the reason for leaving. File for a legal separation, find your own place but do not have the boyfriend move in with you or you move in with him. Date him if you want but you need to establish a life for yourself.
05-09-2016 05:01 AM - edited 05-09-2016 05:15 AM
You obviously choose money and being completely supported so you would not have to support yourself and probably are incapable of doing so. Even if you feel entitled to and may be legally entitled to your husband's money, it reeks of fraud as you have been deceivng him all these years. You seem to expect alimony from this "wonderful" man to support you until you get your hands on his retirement investments, If he had been the one to want out of the marriage for someone else then maybe yes you do deserve something but I just don't understand women who want out for someone else and feel they still should be supported by the "wonderful" (your words) man they betrayed!!! Leave and be happy but do it completely on your own. You left the man you are pining for for money and I don't see how he can really respect you and trust you long term anyway - unless he needs supported by your husband's money!!
05-09-2016 05:21 AM
@kittymoxy, My advice is to forget the other man. Seeing him and relating to him day after day will be a real downer. Stay where you are and make it work.
05-09-2016 05:37 AM - edited 05-09-2016 05:40 AM
I agreed 150% with Pook. " I would not have to work and I would be independent." I retired after working continuously for 50 years. I am happy to have been able to support myself and contribute to the workforce. So I find it very difficult to relate to you. Think hard about the possibility that you may end up less than "independent", and may have to support yourself.
05-09-2016 06:06 AM
05-09-2016 06:15 AM
05-09-2016 06:30 AM
Why ask this question, when you already know the answer. Did you expect sympathy or approval from this forum? Your conscience is pulling at you, so if the majority here approves of you leaving, are you going down that road? You comments after reading what others have wrote is very defensive. If you don't like the answers, why post? My comments you are grown, you know right from wrong. The only feeling to you that matter are your own. Go with it. But when the smokes clear and that dream fads................
05-09-2016 06:33 AM
kitty-I truly in myheart of hearts believe destroying your marraige now would be a terrible mistake on your part.
Are you ready to lose your family, children, friends?
Seek counseling again.
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