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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,660
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Gabstoomuch has the best post yet.  If you are not happy then leave.  However I would not be telling your husband about the old boyfriend as the reason for leaving.  File for a legal separation, find your own place but do not have the boyfriend move in with you or you move in with him.  Date him if you want but you need to establish a life for yourself.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 541
Registered: ‎04-01-2011

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Your husband would be lucky to be rid of you if that's all you think of him. I say if you leave him you better be ready to take the consequences.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,841
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

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You obviously choose money and being completely supported so you would not have to support yourself and probably are incapable of doing so.  Even if you feel entitled to and may be legally entitled to your husband's money, it reeks of fraud as you have been deceivng him all these years.  You seem to expect alimony from this "wonderful" man to support you until you get your hands on his retirement investments,  If he had been the one to want out of the marriage for someone else then maybe yes you do deserve something but I just don't understand women who want out for someone else and feel they still should be supported  by the "wonderful" (your words) man they betrayed!!!  Leave and be happy but do it completely on your own.  You left the man you are pining for for money and I don't see how he can really respect you and trust you long term anyway - unless he needs supported by  your husband's money!!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,279
Registered: ‎05-15-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

@kittymoxy, My advice is to forget the other man.  Seeing him and relating to him day after day will be a real downer.  Stay where you are and make it work.

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Contributor
Posts: 75
Registered: ‎03-25-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

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I agreed 150% with Pook. " I would not have to work and I would be independent." I retired after working continuously for 50 years.  I am happy to have been able to support myself and contribute to the workforce. So I find it very difficult to relate to you. Think hard about the possibility that you may end up less than "independent", and may have to support yourself. 

 

 

 

 

 

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 117
Registered: ‎05-09-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

ok, couple of things:
This is NOT a bogus story
I appreciate all comments equally
I'm wondering how these next facts will go down: in high school, I was the cheerleader, homecoming rep type and he was the golden boy athlete. Fast forward to now I have doubled my size (think Melissa McCarthy) and he is still gorgeous. He's seen me many times and while I'm guessing he would prefer me smaller seems to accept that I'm not. And yes I'm positive that he is "attracted" to me. I have many times thought of putting my story out here on these boards (I read them everyday myself) but haven't done it because I'm technically inept and couldn't figure out how to couldn't remember my password, etc. I have posted several times but they keep every so often keep changing the format which always throws me for a loop. Just wondering how the "I've doubled my size" is going to affect your comments. Im sure the bigger girls out there will understand why I'm curious about this.
Frequent Contributor
Posts: 117
Registered: ‎05-09-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Oh, and for the poster asking what do I love about him. Is he this, is he that. I don't love him for any REASON. I just love him. It's a feeling, not a thought. And yes I realize just about every woman out there would choose my husband over the other man. I get that.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,888
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

[ Edited ]
 
Go VOLS
Valued Contributor
Posts: 611
Registered: ‎04-14-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Why ask this question, when you already know the answer. Did you expect sympathy or approval from this forum? Your conscience is pulling at you, so if the majority here approves of you leaving, are you going down that road? You comments after reading what others have wrote is very defensive. If you don't like the answers, why post? My comments you are grown, you know right from wrong. The only feeling to you that matter are your own. Go with it.  But when the smokes clear and that dream fads................

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,354
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

kitty-I truly in myheart of hearts believe destroying your marraige now would be a  terrible mistake on your part.

Are you ready to lose your family, children, friends?

Seek counseling again.