Community Chat

[Noel7]

This is interesting:

DIVORCE

Divorce has likely not contributed to the growing share of unpartnered adults over this short period. Though divorce statistics are complicated, many argue that the divorce rate has generally been stable or falling since the 1980s.

[Annabellethecat66]

My youngest daughter is 37 and lives alone....well she does have a dog...that's it!  Her boyfriend also 37 lives alone.

One thing I've noticed in my neighborhood is the difference in dynamics of households.

For instance, recent new neighbor's are living like this:  in one house is a (now husband and wife living with her sister, in another house is a brother and sister and her child, in yet another house is young couple who say they'll not have children).  Recently down the street a retired couple moved in  so they could live near their only child (who lives a few miles away), another house has a retired man and his daughter and her son and on and on.  These are all single houses sitting on 1 acre.

There are a few houses with husband and wife and child/children, but the majority of houses have the dynamics I mentioned above.

The people who'd moved out of those houses were married, had several children, retired and moved out of state (in almost every instance).

This is interesting.  My friend said she thinks it's because housing is so expensive people have to be creative to be able to afford a house.

[trenet]

Even with marrying later, having multiple or serial relationships, that there still is a large number of women (and some men too) who still talk about finding their "soulmate".  Strange!

[Noel7]

@Annabellethecat66

I agree with your friend regarding the mixed housing combinations you mentioned.

Housing is so expensive, a lot of people have moved in together, especially adult children with their parent or parents.

My grandmother lived with my parents and me for years until she passed.

[Noel7]

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@trenet wrote:

Even with marrying later, having multiple or serial relationships, that there still is a large number of women (and some men too) who still talk about finding their "soulmate".  Strange!

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@trenet

You're right.  IMO the "soulmate" thing is off-putting.  It raises the bar too high, or at least makes it sound like something it isn't.

[Sweetbay magnolia]

I was in my late 30's when I married, almost 20 years ago.

It was not a goal of mine.  Someone asked, and I said yes.

Though I do like the company of a partner, and financially things are simpler when "joined" - I have had moments when I would like to be un-married, but I realize that when one has a decent arrangement it is best to stay right there.  I'm glad I have some help getting through life.

Don't know what I will do if he dies before me, though I know i can sustain myself.

[Annabellethecat66]

@Noel7I was thinking about how things have changed because when my late husband and I wanted to get a house we had one heck of a time because I was in my mid twenties and banks did not want to lend us money to buy it because I was 'of child bearing age'.  That meant (they said) that I might have a child and not be able to work, thus not be able to add to his income!

He'd been in the Army so we were eventually able to go to a military credit union and borrow the money we needed.  I know many of the banks would not have loaned us the money to get the house had we not been married.  We had to meet a certain amount of money and they would just accept HIS income, not mine......none of it made sense but those were the rules back in the 60's.

[Bibione]

Tomorrow my cousin,his girlfriend and their kid are coming to visit me.My other cousin has 2 kids and is not married.Here in Italy I know couples who just live together even one or two kids.From what I heard ,divorced women get tons of alimony even if the kids are grown and out of the house.

[homedecor1]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@DiAnne wrote:

@Noel7

I actually think it is a good thing.  They know they have options.

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@DiAnne

I do, too.  I can remember all the pressure to get married, and married young.  It was expected of us back in the day.  Horrible.

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@Noel7

Oh yes the pressure! Interesting conversation I had w my spouse today! We both realize we DID get married to young (or I should say I did right out of college - he's older) we are facing a big life changing decision.  

re: our children don't want or have pressure to marry (like us) 

 kids today are well educated, travel, have good jobs & they decide the path of their life!!!  I admire them & sometimes I wish I could rewind my life!!     

[Starpolisher]

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@Snowpuppy wrote:

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@DiAnne wrote:

My grandchildern at 29 and 30.  Are single and living alone.  I haven't heard any complaints from either one.  

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The complaints I've heard from the young professional guys is that they are looking for someone to settle down with and can't find anyone who is much interested.

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This seems to be the situation for my youngest son. He's 36. He's an attractive guy, makes a substantial salary, has a nice laid back personality, owns a beautiful condo in the city yet he's still single. He also says the women nowadays don't want to or know how to cook or clean. I do see this with my sweet dil as well as my friends dil's as well. They certainly don't believe in the traditional roles that I'm used to. He does travel quite a bit and he is happy. That's what's important to me. To each his own but unfortunately for me it means I probably won't have any grandchildren from him. My ds' both believe that marriage should be in the equation before children.