Community Chat

[Libbylady]

I have always felt that change we create for ourselves are fine.

It's changes that are imposed on us that s*ck!

[Gardengal55]

Only you can answer that.  You know your life, your past history and your current situation.  This decision, whichever you choose, will undoubtedly affect not only you but others around you in some way for the rest of your life and possible after.  IMO, one should be realistic--if you are a young person starting out in the world of career or family planning  sometimes risks (heart) are easier or less stressful to shoulder than at a later stage in life.  Finances, health, family dynamics all can throw a wrench into plans no matter what age one is.  Matters of the heart are tricky and I always feel these types of decisions should be tempered with the head.

I guess if you are going to benefit from this decision and it is not going to adversely affect your future in some way, you should go for it.. But it is difficult to suggest what to do  without knowing exactly what type of major decision you need to make.  I, personally,  almost always follow my head--too logical perhaps.  Most times those decisions were the best, other times not.

Whichever you decide, I wish you good luck and peace!

[meallen616]

Whatever decision you choose,

[susan kay]

Without anyone knowing the details, it sounds as if you have some good advice already given.....to speak with someone who knows you well and someone whose opinion you trust.  Maybe a friend who can give you a different perspective might help.

I don't know if this phrase applies, but I'll throw it out anyway---"If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten". (don't know who originally said this)

[SaRina]

When you're in a quandry, like it seems you are, the best thing to do is to sit down and write out the Pros and Cons lists.  Hopefully, this will bring some clarity to your situation.

[Drythe]

@goldensrbest

Sending you all the very best wishes and hope for your decision.

I listen to my heart first and listen, and question until I can write down (I know that sounds strange), not just generalize about, exacty what it is telling me.

Then working from that, I ask my head will I be able to do this? What are the pros and cons, how close to it can I come to what I want.

I work in the geratric field.  One of the things I ave heard over and over is "Regrets are generally most strong about the things you didn't do, v/s the things you did."

I carry two major regrets in my heart, both are for things I did not do and can not go back and repair, I have to live with them and it is hard.

This must be a very important mission you have facing you, again, wishing you clarity and stregnth.

[Financialgrl]

Head, always head for me.  

[QVCkitty1]

Of course you should use your intellect, however, don't discount your gut instincts. 

[Tinkrbl44]

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@goldensrbest wrote:

I have a very major  decission to make, it will be life changing for me, won't go into what ,but do you listen to your heart,or what your head tells you.

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@goldensrbest

I second the Pros and Cons list.

Whenever you're making a major life decision, such as divorce, by all means, use your head.  

Yes, your heart should have an opinion that you consider, but  it shouldn't be the deciding factor.     Use your head.

[chrystaltree]

Hearts lie and tell us what we want to hear;  our heads tend to tell us the truth even when we don't want to know the truth.