Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

1.   is and will remain untouched by my right hand.

2.   People laugh that an elephant would be scared by a mouse.  But think how most people react to spiders.

3.   An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon.  Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son.  "Don't be nervous boy, just do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, something happens to me...Your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."

4.   If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on a beer can rather than a milk bottle.  This way my friends will find me faster.

5.   Women go on a diet on these occasions: - When they break up with a guy, - When they meet a new guy - On Mondays.

6.   "Excuse me sir, have you seen a police officer around?"  "No, not a soul actually."  "Very good - now give me your wallet, watch and laptop,"

7.   I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she's goggling my name and last night on her computer, I saw it clearly through my binoculars.

8.   Waiter, I am outraged.  There is one hair in my soup.  --  And what do you expect for this price?  A whole wig?

9.   I was sitting in a bar one day when two and really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.  So, I said, "cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"  One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo,"  So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two wales from Ireland?"  That's about as far as I remember.

10.   A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.  "My father grows beans," said one girl.  "My mother cooks beans," said one boy.  A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Have no idea why the text color changed but decided to leave it that way rather than type it over again.  

[SandySparkles]

@Lindsays Grandma  You've outdone yourself with this one!!! #'s' 3, 6, 7, and 9 are gut busting🤣🤣🤣. I was hoping for a good laugh today, and this did not disappoint!!!😊 I am still laughing at #9. Whew!

~~~All we need is LOVE💖