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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

1.   My sister bet me a hundred dollars. I couldn't  build a car out of spaghetti.  You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.

 

2.   How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?  A Brazilian.

 

3.   What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

      Tennish.

 

4.   I went to the zoo the other day.  It was empty except for a single dog.  It was a Shih Tzu.

 

5.   What kind of bagel can fly?  A plain bagel.

 

6.   Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

      The retail store.

 

7.   I'm on a whisky diet, I've lost 3 days already.

 

8.   I went to the doctor the other day and said- "Do you have anything for wind?"  He gave me a kite.

 

9.   My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well.  I was amazed!

     Never knew they worked.

 

10.   Two fish in a tank.  One says, "How do you drive this       thing?"

 

11.   I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day- but I couldn't find any.

 

12.   A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.  One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal".  The other goes to a family in Spain, who named him Juan.  Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she had a picture of Amal.  Her husband responds:  "They are twins, if you see Juan, you see Amal."

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Super Contributor
Posts: 321
Registered: ‎09-18-2019

@Lindsays Grandma 

 

These are so funny, esp the last one!!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,929
Registered: ‎06-13-2010

Re: MORE CORNY JOKES

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma 😂😂😂...I think MIL'S around the world will be throwing bricks at #9! I just had to share it, and EVERYONE wholeheartedly AGREED😂😂😂. 

 

 

~~~All we need is LOVE💖