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06-25-2020 12:45 AM
1. My sister bet me a hundred dollars. I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.
2. How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian.
3. What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?
Tennish.
4. I went to the zoo the other day. It was empty except for a single dog. It was a Shih Tzu.
5. What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel.
6. Where do animals go when their tails fall off?
The retail store.
7. I'm on a whisky diet, I've lost 3 days already.
8. I went to the doctor the other day and said- "Do you have anything for wind?" He gave me a kite.
9. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed!
Never knew they worked.
10. Two fish in a tank. One says, "How do you drive this thing?"
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day- but I couldn't find any.
12. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain, who named him Juan. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They are twins, if you see Juan, you see Amal."
06-25-2020 08:19 AM
06-25-2020 01:25 PM - edited 06-25-2020 01:29 PM
@Lindsays Grandma 😂😂😂...I think MIL'S around the world will be throwing bricks at #9! I just had to share it, and EVERYONE wholeheartedly AGREED😂😂😂.
~~~All we need is LOVE💖
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