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06-30-2019 01:02 AM
Every man thinks every woman's dream is to find
a perfect man. Please!!! Every woman's dream
is to eat without getting fat.
Closing your eyes after turning off the
alarm is a very dangerous game.
I LIKE TO MAKE LISTS
I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen
counter and then guess what's on the list
while at the store.
My stomach if FLAT.
The L is silent.
I stay up late because after 10:00 PM is the
only time of day that no one expects me to
do anything for them.
I hate when someone rings my doorbell because
then I have to drop whatever I'm doing and
pretend I'm not home.
Is anyone really confident how they say -
I wish I could drop my body off at the gym
and pick it up when it's ready.
Can we start the weekend over again?
I wasn't ready.
Thank you for pretending not to see me when
I was pretending not to see you in order to
avoid a miserably awkward conversation
that neither of us wants to have.
I live at work and visit the house sometimes.
If you are arguing loudly on your phone in
public please put it on speaker, I need
to hear both sides of the story.
Do you ever have so much planned for the
next day and then you wake up and are
just like "NAH"
Nutritional labels should include a "What if
I ate the whole thing" section.
The book we really needed was what to expect
12 years after you were expecting.
I hate it when my GPS tells me to head south
east after leaving the parking lot...girl, do I
need to turn left or right?
My eating habits range from supermodel yoga
enthusiast to hungry unsupervised child
in a candy store.
I had a lot of stuff to do today, now I
have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
The two things I love more than anything
in the world:
1. Being with my kids.
2. Not being with my kids.
I don't care how old I am, I will never
sleep with the closet door open.
Hi, I finished my free trial of adulthood and
I'm no longer interested so would like to
cancel my subscription. Is there a manager
I can talk to?
If you think you are hungry you just might be thirsty.
Drink a pitcher of Margaritas and see how you feel.
And just like that 1969 was
50 years ago.
06-30-2019 10:24 AM
@Lindsays Grandma Thank you for all your compilations. I eagerly click onto every new thread from you, knowing it will bring a smile and chuckles. Your efforts are appreciated!
06-30-2019 02:01 PM
06-30-2019 03:05 PM
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