MEN SHOULD MARRY AND WOMEN SHOULDN'T BOTHER - Page 3

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

I see many older women who say they are happy with life and their marriages...but... these women grew up thinking that was their role in life - to marry and take care of the house, raise the children and cater to the man! They know no other life so for them it's been great!! But from reading many posts here where posters are not happy with still having to do it all after their husbands retire, they are not thrilled with their husband's assuming they are still the caretaker of everything!!!

Chicagosuburbangirl · ‎04-14-2018

@Greeneyedlady21 Yes, cruel judgment from friends also.

Happily married 26 years to my husband and best friend with no children by choice.

Lost most of my girlhood friends because I wasn't a mommy.

Got other friends, but very hard to find the right fit as we age.

I am I happy? Somedays yes and somedays no.

Happiness is a cocktail of many circumstances or choices, not alone based on marital status, income, mood etc. Happiness is not static either; usually it is in flux.

The best advice for happiness, choose it.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

I certainly do not cater my husband, if truth be told ,he is the one more apt to cater to me

Another generalization by someone who has no idea of my life ,or anyone elses ,but,

theirs

I have done a great many things in my life , besides being a wife and a mother.

SharkE · ‎08-19-2010

@Chicagosuburbangirl wrote:
@Greeneyedlady21 Yes, cruel judgment from friends also.

Happily married 26 years to my husband and best friend with no children by choice.
Lost most of my girlhood friends because I wasn't a mommy.

Got other friends, but very hard to find the right fit as we age.

I am I happy? Somedays yes and somedays no.
Happiness is a cocktail of many circumstances or choices, not alone based on marital status, income, mood etc. Happiness is not static either; usually it is in flux.

The best advice for happiness, choose it.

Watch Dr. Phil LOL We made the right decision !

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

Do what works for YOU and ignore all the ****** studies.

kaydee50 · ‎02-07-2011

@libbyannE I have a simliar story except I didn't get married until almost 30. Didn't think I ever would. But found my "best friend" and will be married 40 years in September. Also chose not to have children--can't imagine my life with them--and have traveled extensively, lived in several different cities and are comfortable financially. The key is to marry the right person and not because of peer or family pressures.

Ms tyrion2 · ‎05-08-2017

@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:
I chose to not marry or have children, I am far from a hedonist. It's ok to slam women who make that choice but let's not "slam" men? I've known bad men and very good men in my life. The good ones tend to be spoken for.

My parents didn't have a good healthy marriage. I know exactly what I would want from marriage and it wasn't meant to be for me. I'm happy with my choice, I'm not a hedonist-far from it. I've experienced so much judgment from others for making that choice too. Rude questions from total strangers regarding my personal choices. And cruel judgement from family and friends.

Well said @Greeneyedlady21 .

I also chose to not marry or have children. I have heard all kinds of comments about my choices, but I've got to say this was the first time my life has been characterized as hedonistic.

I don't hate men. I've loved a few of them! 😁

Just didnt find one I wanted to spend a lifetime with.

In many ways, taking care of yourself is easier than worrying about another person and in many ways it is far more difficult. Being single is my life and I am relatively content with it. Isn't that what we all want?

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@RealtyGal2 wrote:
Everyone has their own individual set of preferences. I think you can make a case for both staying single and getting married. If you are lucky and make a good decision about who you marry and you both do not grow apart or hurt each other in some way, then marriage can be wonderful and fulfilling, but you have to work on it. The upside is that you have a best friend, partner, and you are not lonely (if you are lucky). The downside is that you can be lonely in a marriage, or bullied, or abused and scared if your husband turns out to be a different person than you thought you were getting.

If you remain single (as a woman) and do not have children, you have less stress, more time to do the things you want to do, but it can sometimes be lonely and a little scary not having someone who has your back.

There are a lot of variables to consider and things happen in life that change people and expose traits we didn't know were there.

@RealtyGal2 I fit the profile of the woman in the article and feel I had the best of both worlds. I remained single and BF and I were together for over 30 years. He was 15 years older than me, he already had kids from a prior marriage (I didn't want any) and we had many differences. I had bought my own home and never got rid of it.. We stayed together and when we started working on each other's nerves I'd go back home for some "me - alone" time and once refreshed I'd go back and stay with him.

May not work for all but in 2011 I was dx with an aggressive cancer and I'd chosen an oncologist 85 miles from where I was living (BF only lived 15 miles away). When told, he wanted me to come live with him and he'd take care of me and I moved in with him and he cared for me when I was at my weakest sickest points. I had two friends who drove me to chemo treatments and BF took me back to the doctor the next day for the shot I needed and after chemo drove me to radiation - he was 100% there for me - then things changed. I got better and he began having medical issues and I went back and stayed with him for the next 1 1/2 years and cared for him. I had my own career and made a good living, had bought my own home, we were together and during both of our medical crises we were there for each other.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

Marriage is not the end-all be-all. It is a personal choice and no one should be judged for their choice. Same goes for having children.

ripka junkie · ‎03-11-2010

I agree we must make our own decisions regarding marriage. I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I still love my husband dearly and he is very good to me.

This is 2nd marriage for both of us maybe both more mature, We have been married 40 years this past February.

We both had professional careers when we married and respected each other.