Re: Love Her or Love Her Not?

SunSprite · ‎10-21-2019

@J Town Girl Agreed re talking about other women.

@Calcgirl I'm very happy that this all worked out. I mentioned in my previous response that things are not always what they seem, and I do believe that happened here, and in a very big way. Although not the way I meant it when I typed it, thankfully!

I did want to ask if you thought the posts they read here would negatively impact their marriage? I think it's gotta be tough to get married with a clean slate when you've just read that your future inlaws see you as a user.

Hopefully they were able to work that out. Best of luck to them!

Whatever gets you through the night; it's alright, it's alright. It's your money or your life; it's alright, it's alright---John Lennon

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

@Anonymous032819 wrote:

Oh, please!

There are countless couples who are in relationships who are not married, and have no desire to be married.

Take our our John, a.k.a HockeyNut.

He has been in a relationship with someone for years, and yet, he is not married to her.

Are they "wasting their time" on each other, simply because they are not married?

Is John "just not that in to her" simply because he's not married?

Love does not = marriage

Marriage does not = love

Why on earth would you say that John and Cindy are not married?

Lattelvr · ‎09-02-2018

@J Town Girl wrote:
It appears that this is a happy ending but what is still concerning is the comment that you made about how he looks at younger women and makes comments about how attractive they are. That is extremely unkind to this woman that he is with.

Of course, we all, men and women alike, look at others and find them attractive but those of us who really care about our spouses don't make hurtful comments that seem like we are comparing or being compared unfavorably with this other person.

Commenting about other women while he is with her is in very poor taste. I'd like to think that the behavior will stop after marriage but unfortunately it most likely will not.

If I were this lady, I would be having second thoughts if I want to marry this guy. No one should be with someone who makes them feel bad about themselves.

I agree. There is a giant red flag waving here. I have a feeling she is going to be HIS "Divorce #2." If she does gets married, she's really going to enjoy that contract she signed by doing his dirty drawers for life. What is he bringing to the table? If she is successful, she needs a prenup.

DottieBlue · ‎03-11-2010

Calcgirl: Thanks for letting us know the rest of the story. I wish them well.

No marriage is perfect, both partners enter into it with flaws (in spite of what some say about their "perfect" spouse/marriage), but it can still be happy and successful.

I hope they enjoy a lifetime of health and happiness together.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@Calcgirl @PlainJane sweetie...time for him to go.If he loved her she would be beautiful to him.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:
One of my friends daughter has been dating and partially living with this man for about 4 years. I say partially living with because he is at her place most of the time. She makes his meals and even does his laundry. They are both in their late 40's, he was once married, however she has never been married and is a very quiet, shy and plain looking woman. However, she also has a heart of a saint, who is always helping others in need. Well, she surprised everyone by writing on Facebook how much she loved this man, etc. It was beautifully written and if you knew her, it would tug at your heart because she really poured out her heart. As I said, she is shy and this was totally not like her so you knew it was a big step for her, and sadly a mistake that has broken her heart. This man is also on FB and he never responded, so she thought possibly he had not seen it so she showed it to him and he just mumbled that he did not know how to comment on FB! Lie!!! He comments all of the time. She started to cry and he left, stating he does not like to publically announce his feelings and wish she had not done so either. I am close to this gal as welll as her parents, she called me crying for advice and I told her I did not know what to think or say. Truthfully, I think she should send him packing. Her parents believe she is a convenience to him and takes advantage of her. By the way, this has been the first boyfriend in a very long time, in fact since high school. So sad because this woman would make any man fortunate enough to have her love the luckiest guy on earth.

@Calcgirl

I've only read the first page of posts in this thread, so if this has already been discussed, sorry 'bout that.

So ... this gal posts on FB that she loves this guy ... but doesn't tell HIM how she feels? That's a bit weird. Is she hoping he will just say it back ... or that he'll suddenly decide to ask her to marry him?

Does she WANT to get married? Not all people want to marry, and if this level of casual-ness has been okay for 4 years, I'm not sure what she wants ... or expects from him.