Community Chat

[Calcgirl]

One of my friends daughter has been dating and partially living with this man for about 4 years.  I say partially living with because he is at her place most of the time.  She makes his meals and even does his laundry.  They are both in their late 40's, he was once married, however she has never been married and is a very quiet, shy and plain looking woman.  However, she also has a heart of a saint, who is always helping others in need. Well, she surprised everyone by writing on Facebook how much she loved this man, etc. It was beautifully written and if you knew her, it would tug at your heart because she really poured out her heart.  As I said, she is shy and this was totally not like her so you knew it was a big step for her, and sadly a mistake that has broken her heart.  This man is also on FB and he never responded, so she thought possibly he had not seen it so she showed it to him and he just mumbled that he did not know how to comment on FB!  Lie!!! He comments all of the time.  She started to cry and he left, stating he does not like to publically announce his feelings and wish she had not done so either.   I am close to this gal as welll as her parents, she called me crying for advice and I told her I did not know what to think or say.  Truthfully, I think she should send him packing.  Her parents believe she is a convenience to him and takes advantage of her.  By the way, this has been the first boyfriend in a very long time, in fact since high school.  So sad because this woman would make any man fortunate enough to have her love the luckiest guy on earth.

[camelot]

'Cause if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
If you like it,…

[luvmyteddy4]

You already know the answer to that. He is using her for laundry, meals and whatever.

Some men can go on forever when its a good thing but the minute he finds someone else he's gone girl...and I'm afraid she's not going to change a thing, not after 4 years. You never post on fb your private feelings for the world to see esp since she's too scared to share them to him, she probably already knew the answer. Why would you back someone in a corner. Plenty of times people give an ultimatium and it backfires so be prepared to walk away. 

[phoenixbrd]

@Calcgirl 

Only because she asked for your opinion....I would gently say exactly what you think without judgement or criticism.  This is a difficult time for her...you might want to call and check in with her.  Maybe ask her to go to the movies or coffee with her/and her mom.  Just be a good friend and listen.

[sidsmom]

Sounds like the entire world needs to

mind their own darn business.

[Jordan2]

This guy is a cad! Why should he make any changes, this is a great set up for him. He is definitely taking advantage of her and using her. She should drop him, but she may love him or is afraid of being alone.

[happycat]

Him not replying on the fb post, says a heck of a lot.

I feel sorry for her, 4 years is a long time.

[Love my grandkids]

@Calcgirl Sorry but I take issue with your comment that she is "plain looking." Whaaat? What do her looks have to do with any of this?

Lots of people are "plain." What are YOUR looks like?

You sound as though only what you consider attractive people can have a good romantic relationship. JMO, based on your comment.

[mamaslittlepotato]

I don’t know how this man treats her, but in this particular instance, I agree with him. Why should the whole world know how she feels about him? This is what I can’t stand about Facebook, the fact that everybody knows everybody else’s business. If she feels this way about him, she should’ve just told him privately. Why announce it to everyone? It’s a very private thing, IMO.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@mamaslittlepotato wrote:
I don’t know how this man treats her, but in this particular instance, I agree with him. Why should the whole world know how she feels about him? This is what I can’t stand about Facebook, the fact that everybody knows everybody else’s business. If she feels this way about him, she should’ve just told him privately. Why announce it to everyone? It’s a very private thing, IMO.

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Have to agree it is a very private matter.  Pouring her heart out on Facebook but unable to talk to him face to face.