Community Chat

[dooBdoo]

---

Catwhisperer wrote:

@dooBdoo...do not ever blame yourself for anything. IMO, you are one of the most highly respected posters on these boards.

---

          Thank you, @catwhisperer.    That's far too high praise.   I appreciate you.    In my opinion, I'm just one of many who try to make their belief system, their words, and their actions work in authentic harmony.   Not an easy goal to reach.   People like you help me to know it's all worth it, though.   As far as blame...  I fully believe it's a slippery slope when we excuse ourselves from blame, so I think it's good, honest, and humbling to keep that big mirror up and try to see ourselves with clear eyes.   That's another thing that's not easy, but I do think it's worthwhile.     Thanks, again.   I hope you have a fine evening, and a lovely week.❤️

[Trinity11]

---

@dooBdoo wrote:

---

@Trinity11 wrote:

I can count on one hand how often I start a thread here. I welcome the brave people who do and ask questions. At least they start a conversation, which lately have been few and far between...

Google has its place but seeking opinions from a larger audience harms nobody. People are always free to ignore what they dislike and exercise restraint.

---

          @Trinity11,  I know fewer and fewer posters choose to start threads.   Based on the comments I've seen, the main reason is that those who reply can't resist attacking the poster instead of attacking the topic.   

          We see what seems like great enjoyment in personal insults, the ridicule of a person, and it's not only displayed in the posts themselves...  we see it in the hearts given to posts such as that.   "High-five hearts" for being really, genuinely unkind to other people.   Those same posters, on other threads, will decry the lack of compassion, courtesy, and good will toward our fellow human beings in the world.

           Seeing the way we treat each other here used to anger me, but that transformed into a sort of weariness making the forums here less and less enjoyable.    And transformed into sadness.   Sadness that we relish the jabs, pokes, the slings and arrows directed at fellow posters.    Fellow human beings.   

          I think it's almost like a video game, and people get pleasure in the insults and put-downs...  but they detach and forget we are flesh-and-blood humans posting here.   Good people no longer start threads because of what they're subjected to...  good people leave and never return.   Many will place blame on the moderators, and I agree the moderation is far too imbalanced and unpredictable.    But the blame fingers need to point back at us...  myself included.

---

@dooBdooI don't think you should worry about placing blame on yourself. Your measured and articulate responses never stoop to calling out people in a disparaging manner that you disagree with.

For myself, I have a lot on my plate lately. After another heart attack a month ago, I have tried to eliminate all unnecessary stress in my life. Coming here and becoming aggravated shouldn't be something I do as a hobby. This morning I replied to someone that made me cringe when she heartlessly replied to someone just looking for a little sympathy for a very difficult situation. I just don't need that in whatever time I have left on the planet. That's why I come here less and less. I simply need to concentrate on positives and bringing needless drama into my life arguing on the internet and disagreeing with strangers.......well, it just can't be all that healthy.

My best to you and hope you are well.....

[suzyQ3]

Once again, @Moonchilde was NOT talking about people looking for opinions.

[Moonchilde]

---

@suzyQ3 wrote:

Once again, @Moonchilde was NOT talking about people looking for opinions.

---

I'm not the only one (knew I wasn't, but it was confirmed this afternoon). KittyLou's thread has gone the same way. All sorts of ad hominem attacks and blatant mis-statings of her OP despite multiple clarifications, as with ths thread.

It's not a chat forum, it's a Fight Club free-for-all.

But that's okay. I'm not going anywhere ;-)

Thanks, @suzyQ3 😍

[dooBdoo]

---

@Trinity11 wrote:

---

@dooBdoo wrote:

---

@Trinity11 wrote:

I can count on one hand how often I start a thread here. I welcome the brave people who do and ask questions. At least they start a conversation, which lately have been few and far between...

Google has its place but seeking opinions from a larger audience harms nobody. People are always free to ignore what they dislike and exercise restraint.

---

          @Trinity11,  I know fewer and fewer posters choose to start threads.   Based on the comments I've seen, the main reason is that those who reply can't resist attacking the poster instead of attacking the topic.   

          We see what seems like great enjoyment in personal insults, the ridicule of a person, and it's not only displayed in the posts themselves...  we see it in the hearts given to posts such as that.   "High-five hearts" for being really, genuinely unkind to other people.   Those same posters, on other threads, will decry the lack of compassion, courtesy, and good will toward our fellow human beings in the world.

           Seeing the way we treat each other here used to anger me, but that transformed into a sort of weariness making the forums here less and less enjoyable.    And transformed into sadness.   Sadness that we relish the jabs, pokes, the slings and arrows directed at fellow posters.    Fellow human beings.   

          I think it's almost like a video game, and people get pleasure in the insults and put-downs...  but they detach and forget we are flesh-and-blood humans posting here.   Good people no longer start threads because of what they're subjected to...  good people leave and never return.   Many will place blame on the moderators, and I agree the moderation is far too imbalanced and unpredictable.    But the blame fingers need to point back at us...  myself included.

---

@dooBdooI don't think you should worry about placing blame on yourself. Your measured and articulate responses never stoop to calling out people in a disparaging manner that you disagree with.

For myself, I have a lot on my plate lately. After another heart attack a month ago, I have tried to eliminate all unnecessary stress in my life. Coming here and becoming aggravated shouldn't be something I do as a hobby. This morning I replied to someone that made me cringe when she heartlessly replied to someone just looking for a little sympathy for a very difficult situation. I just don't need that in whatever time I have left on the planet. That's why I come here less and less. I simply need to concentrate on positives and bringing needless drama into my life arguing on the internet and disagreeing with strangers.......well, it just can't be all that healthy.

My best to you and hope you are well.....

---

          Thank you, @Trinity11. ❤️   I appreciate the kind words...  I do the best I can, but sometimes I fall short, too.    So I can't hold myself blameless.    I'm so, so sorry and worried to read about your health.   I agree, you need as much positivity and cheer, as much joy and peaceful, serenity as possible.   I don't want to see you leave the forums but at the same time the snarkiness and dark undercurrent here can be really unhealthy for us all.    Please know you're in my prayers.   (((hugs)))

[Trinity11]

---

@Moonchilde wrote:

---

@suzyQ3 wrote:

Once again, @Moonchilde was NOT talking about people looking for opinions.

---

I'm not the only one (knew I wasn't, but it was confirmed this afternoon). KittyLou's thread has gone the same way. All sorts of ad hominem attacks and blatant mis-statings of her OP despite multiple clarifications, as with ths thread.

It's not a chat forum, it's a Fight Club free-for-all.

But that's okay. I'm not going anywhere ;-)

Thanks, @suzyQ3 😍

---

Since I mentioned opinions, I hope you know I meant no harm, @Moonchilde. I hate confrontation and derive no pleasure from it. If you were offended, I apologize. I misunderstood your thread and should have read more of the posts before responding...

[NYC Susan]

---

@Moonchilde wrote:

We all see people ask questions on these forums (and all over the internet, really) that could have been answered by a 30-second google. Sometimes it takes longer to post asking the question than to google the answer.

Yes, there are always people who actually do the looking-up for these "requests", so the questioners invariably do get their answers.

My question is - other than sheer laziness and "I don't want to bother, I'll ask a stranger & get them to do it" motivations, why would you not look it up yourself?

I'm not talking a complicated question you'd need specialized knowledge to find out, but really basic things. How to contact a business. How difficult is it to type the name of the business, go to their website and get the info you need? Very occasionally a PITA (depending on how user-friendly the website is), it's straightforward and quick 95% of the time.

It's my opinion that anyone who buys online at QVC, maneuvers these forums, can find the latest news online and report it here, and can post links, is equipped to do a google search. So for simple questions, why wouldn't you? Just about anything can be found out fairly quickly and fairly easily online. It's not usually something one really needs to ask someone else to do for them. So why do they?

I do understand physical handicaps, but if you made it here...

So, am I (seriously here) missing something? Why would a person continually ask/expect others to do this and not do it themselves? Everyone has to learn. We all started sometime. 

---

I have wondered the same thing many times.  I understand starting a topic in order to find out the experiences of others, or to ask opinions, share a personal dilemma, things of that sort.  But very often threads are started by posters who easily could find the answer online.  Very easily.

I'm quite sure that many posters who post helpful replies do exactly what the OP could have done in the first place.  I know I have. While other posters were contributing, "I don't know" posts, I simply googled and found the answer.  Not rocket science.

Something else I've noticed is back-and-forth bickering that could easily be ended if just one of them would google the subject they're arguing about.  "It's the law in the state of NY", "No, it isn't."  "Yes, it is." For heaven's sake, someone please just google and put an end to it!

As you said, if people are computer-literate enough to post here, they certainly should know how to do a simple search.  You said it takes 30 seconds, but often it's even less time than that.

[JaneMarple]

---

@NYC Susan wrote:

---

@Moonchilde wrote:

We all see people ask questions on these forums (and all over the internet, really) that could have been answered by a 30-second google. Sometimes it takes longer to post asking the question than to google the answer.

Yes, there are always people who actually do the looking-up for these "requests", so the questioners invariably do get their answers.

My question is - other than sheer laziness and "I don't want to bother, I'll ask a stranger & get them to do it" motivations, why would you not look it up yourself?

I'm not talking a complicated question you'd need specialized knowledge to find out, but really basic things. How to contact a business. How difficult is it to type the name of the business, go to their website and get the info you need? Very occasionally a PITA (depending on how user-friendly the website is), it's straightforward and quick 95% of the time.

It's my opinion that anyone who buys online at QVC, maneuvers these forums, can find the latest news online and report it here, and can post links, is equipped to do a google search. So for simple questions, why wouldn't you? Just about anything can be found out fairly quickly and fairly easily online. It's not usually something one really needs to ask someone else to do for them. So why do they?

I do understand physical handicaps, but if you made it here...

So, am I (seriously here) missing something? Why would a person continually ask/expect others to do this and not do it themselves? Everyone has to learn. We all started sometime. 

---

I have wondered the same thing many times.  I understand starting a topic in order to find out the experiences of others, or to ask opinions, share a personal dilemma, things of that sort.  But very often threads are started by posters who easily could find the answer online.  Very easily.

I'm quite sure that many posters who post helpful replies do exactly what the OP could have done in the first place.  I know I have. While other posters were contributing, "I don't know" posts, I simply googled and found the answer.  Not rocket science.

Something else I've noticed is back-and-forth bickering that could easily be ended if just one of them would google the subject they're arguing about.  "It's the law in the state of NY", "No, it isn't."  "Yes, it is." For heaven's sake, someone please just google and put an end to it!

As you said, if people are computer-literate enough to post here, they certainly should know how to do a simple search.  You said it takes 30 seconds, but often it's even less time than that.

---

Bingo!

[NYC Susan]

---

@SahmIam wrote:

IMHO, often asking someone how to do XYZ gives up info that is more helpful than ANY book or site can provide. I read all the books on childbirth but GIVING birth gave me insight that NO book could.

Same thing when applying for Social Security for my son; I did research and I called and I ordered pamphlets and OMG.... I was lost. I asked here and so many offered advice, help, insight that they had gained having gone through it themselves.

That's the answer for you; We ask here because of the insight from those who have actually gone through it themselves.

---

I agree.  In certain situations, it's really good to hear from others. 

But very often I see posts that ask for very simple, basic information.  Not life experience, not something that welcomes different perspectives.  Just basic facts.  The question is posted, posters (who either knew the answer or googled) reply, and that's the end of it.  There's no meaningful discussion because there wasn't much to it to begin with.

If someone tried to find the answer and was unsuccessful, that's different.  And your examples are very different.  I completely agree that in those cases opening up a conversation about it can be very positive.

[NYC Susan]

---

@Cwoldie wrote:

You can just ignore those people who are too "lazy" to look it up.

i personally wouldn't put the time or thought you put into your post worrying about it.

---

I didn't get the impression that @Moonchilde is worried about it.  She observed something, and she's asking a question.  That's all.  I doubt very much that this is something that keeps her up at night.