Community Chat

[nun ya]

nope. My sister loaned money to a relative to pay years of back taxes. The relative lives in a mobile home park. She was also behind in her lot rent and the park management would only accept payment if my sister put  it in her name. About a week later, my Aunt gave my sister a list of everything that needed fixed, being she was now the owner!! That didnt last long, as soon as she was paid back she transfered it back to the relative and never gave her another penny.

[shoptilyadropagain]

My general rule of thumb is no.  I haven't been asked in a long time but would base my final answer on their previous choices.  I've seen far too many people waste their money on expensive and frivilous items then cry around that they can't afford food or make a utility payment, etc.  

[MomCat]

I have always had the rule that I did not loan money, unless we're talking about a friend who needs $20 because they ran out of cash at the moment.  That's no big deal.  I have always given the money to family members who just needed a leg up, but to no one who obviously had no grasp of money management.  I recently had a close friend who was in the middle of a large business transaction and needed a significant amount that would get paid back pretty quickly.  I actually offered to help her out so she wouldn't be out money for fees.  She refused to take me up on my offer.  She and I are like twin sisters when it comes to personal responsibility.  I trust this woman with my life, and she is the only person I would have ever done that with.  Other than her, and I have several other good friends, I would never even consider it.

[akaburtonfan]

I was taught if you can't afford to gift $, don't loan it because the chances of getting it paid back aren't good. 

[Dragonflyveb]

I’ve seen a coworker cry because she had no money for toilet paper. Someone loaned her some cash and she bought cigarettes for her teenage son. Same woman would go out to lunch with the group and never have any cash to pay her tab. When people quit inviting her, she told the boss they were being mean! She blew through her 401k on vacations and weddings. She took up a collection for a charity donation in someone's memory and kept the money for herself!

Another coworker would cry that she couldn't buy her daughter a Brownie sash. She borrowed some money and came back from lunch with 2 pairs of shoes. "They were on sale." Declared bankruptcy twice.

This is kinda off topic, but money—or lack thereof—makes people do strange things!

[Shop Till you Drop]

Give freely and ask for nothing in return.  Otherwise, do not do it.

[viva923]

if this person needs the money.

this should be a gift what you can give and not be given back.

then there is a side that this person may come back for more money down the road and expect it from you again, free and clear.

this is a tightrope you are walking on.

good Luck with your decision on this one.

[Tabbycat]

I haven't read this whole thread, but my advice is to give it willingly and don't ever expect to be repaid. If you truely  want to help and think she may spend it on something other than what she claims to, then ask for the bill and pay it yourself. That way you know it's going toward what she claims.

[maestra]

Run like he11 the other direction.

Refer your friend to a bank for a loan; you are not a bank.

You will have little to no recouse if not repaid other than a soured friendship. @Group 5 minus 1

[Lilysmom]

@Group 5 minus 1, I’m with the poster who said what is it for?  Is it a temporary fix or a long term solution.  If it doesn’t solve the problem, I would want to know the long term fix otherwise they will be back at your door still with no solution in sight.  I also believe if you lend it, you must be prepared never to see it again.  LM