Loaning money to a friend - Page 2

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

If she is truly a good friend, help her if you can. I would not expect it back. Maybe someday she will pay you back in a way other than money. My mother always said when you help someone it may not come back from that person but it may come from someone else in your life.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:
She needs it. Should I do it?

no

only lend what you can afford not to get back

or give as a gift and expect to be asked again

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

interesting to read the answers

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

Another comment from me. We have awesome neighbors. The one on our right has a rule. He never ever lends anything. He will use what we need to help us, but will never leave the item. Example... very deep snow, he will do our driveway but will not lend his snow shovel for us to do it. He said he learned long ago that would be the easiest way to break up a friendship if there was ever a problem with the item.

Across the street we have a neighbor who borrows everything. I could make a long list of items that never came back and or were damaged. I see them coming and I hide. LOL

But if there is need and you can afford it.... please help out. If it is a fortune for you and you cannot go without the amount be honest and refuse.

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

We lent a couple thousand to best friends years ago. They did need it but are also spendthrifts. We never got it back. Next time they asked I said no.

drizzellla · ‎03-14-2010

I have lent money to various people in my life. The ONLY person to ever give me any money as repayment, was my boss. He repaid half the amount that I loaned him.

All the other money that I loaned, was spent and forgotten.

So as many people have stated - if you can afford to consider the money as a gift, then by all means give your friend the money.

Libbylady · ‎03-09-2010

I'd advise trying to help in some other way if possible, like groceries for example.

Loaning $$ to even a best, best friend puts the friendship on an uneven platform, and it never recovers.

The friend will most likely forget to repay, and trust me, you will NEVER forget.

It will be the "elephant in the room" until it destroys the friendship from within.

riley1 · ‎03-10-2010

NO! I did this once many years ago. She never paid it back or even made an attempt to pay it back. At one point I really needed the money and asked her for it - never heard from her again. Needless to say, that was the end of the friendship.

I don't loan to family either.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

I could write a book on the subject.I used to do it.Not anymore.I’ve never been paid back!! In my opinion if you want to gift the needy person go ahead.But No loans.

It ruins friendships & relationships.But sometimes saying no does too. A few years back a friend asked me to co-sign on a loan for her.I told her I couldn’t do that.I offered to gift her some money.She turned it down saying she didn’t want my charity.We haven’t spoken since.I heard she got her nephew to co-sign.She defaulted on the payment & he got stuck paying it off.From what I understand half her family won’t talk to her over it until she pays him back.What a mess!!

CinNC · ‎10-05-2012

My BF has two children. One is very very successful and the other has 4 kids, and if he put as much effort into working as he did trying to get out of work , he'd be very successful.

When they lived near us, I would purchase items for them but never give them $$$. This son has borrowed so much money from my BF and has never paid anything back even though he promises to. He also "rented" the BF's second house from him when he lived nearby. The minute he got a check from a work related injury, he quit his job, and quit giving my BF any $$ towards the car, heating bills, mortage etc...

So, it depends on what your friend wants the money for, how much money it is, and how you not having the $$ would effect your life now or in the future. And the impact your decision will have on the friendship.